Young Sheldon

Power has always been a deadly narcotic,

and in 1989,

RadioShack's Tandy 1000 SL

was my drug of choice.

With an Intel 8086

running at eight megahertz

and a five-and-a-quarter-inch floppy drive,

there was nothing

I couldn't do.

From adding snazzy graphics

to my homework...

So snazzy.

To easily alphabetizing

my list of enemies and their crimes.

So easy.

Sheldon, time to go.

We really need to get one of these.

What on earth do we need a computer for?

Yeah, we got you and your big head.

But we can get so much accomplished.

I could use a spreadsheet program

to keep track of your expenses.

I do that in the back of my checkbook.

Yes, but does your checkbook go "beep" when you open it?

I don't think so.

Plus, the computer

can organize your recipes.

But my recipes are organized.

On index cards.

Like a cave person.

Cave Mom. I'm gonna call you that.

It doesn't matter, Sheldon.

We can't afford a computer.

Sure we can. It's only $998,

and Dave says we can buy it on easy monthly payments.

That's true.

Stay out of this, Dave.

Come on.

We got to get home.

- But... - Sheldon, I said no.

I can make you a good deal

on the floor model, Mrs. Cooper.

Seriously, Dave, you're getting on my nerves.

It's not fair.

You bought Missy a Ring Pop.

For ten cents.

- And I'm worth every penny. - Let's go.

Sorry, Dave.

We're living paycheck to paycheck.

Move!

Ah, RadioShack. Ah, RadioShack.

Here it is, the Tandy 1000 SL computer system.

Sheldon was going on and on about that thing today.

I've never seen one so easy to use.

Greetings. Need directions back to your planet?

This technology is more advanced than we thought.

You know that movie E.T.?

The kid who finds him, his name is Elliott,

which starts with an "E" and ends with a "T."

Coincidence?

I don't think so.

You're gonna live with us forever, aren't you?

So, Sheldon wants a computer?

Ever since he could talk.

But now more than ever.

Well, he should get a job after school.

Save up and buy one.

Get a job? He's nine.

I mowed lawns when I was his age.

Made pretty good money.

You want Sheldon to mow lawns?

He's so pale, five minutes in the sun,

he'd burst into flames.

I would pay to see that.

Shut up, Georgie.

I hope you told him

- we can't afford it. - Of course.

I could buy it for him,

and then y'all could pay me back when you can.

Okay, Connie, now you're just insulting me.

Well, that was not my intention,

but I'm glad to hear it.

I can pay my own bills

and take care of my family.

There are expenses we could cut back on

so we could afford a computer.

You mean like the money you give to church?

No, I mean like the money you give

to the Lone Star Beer company.

Good one, Mom.

- Shut up. Shut up, pumpkin. - Shut up.

We're not getting a computer.

We don't need your money.

Where are you going?

To get a... glass of milk.

He's lying. He's getting a beer.

Shut up, Georgie.

Mom?

Why are you still up?

Madame Curie is on the roof,

and she's not wearing her hat.

You're just dreaming, baby.

But she'll be cold without her hat.

I'll give her mine. Now you go to sleep.

Mm, thanks, Mom.

You're the best.

Oh, Lord.

I'm guessing we're not having our once-a-week.

Sorry, I only have relations with gentlemen I like.

Oh, come on. You know how I feel

about your mother meddlin' in our finances.

She wasn't meddlin', she was offering to help.

And that computer is not some silly toy.

Sheldon could use it for his schoolwork,

and I could use it to... organize my recipes.

You already got 'em organized on those little cards.

Yeah, like a cave person.

Well, it doesn't matter.

We can't afford it, end of story.

Not exactly end of story.

What's that mean?

I've been setting money aside the last couple of years,

and this might be a good use for it.

Money from what?

You know, here and there.

Bookkeeping for the church,

some seamstress work,

birthday money from my Aunt Zelda.

And just how much of this "here and there" money

you got saved up?

Well, seeing as it's my money,

I don't think that's any of your business.

None of my business?

You see every nickel

I make, and you got secret money?

It's not secret. I just told you.

Where you hiding it?

Well, now you're headed into secret territory.

Oh, okay.

Just so I'm clear, my money's our money,

but your money's your money.

That's right.

Oh, good to know.

I'm glad we're not having our once-a-week

'cause I am not in the mood.

Really?

That's too bad.

Why? Are you?

No!

That was uncalled for.

I forgot to tell you, a girl called for you.

What girl? I don't know. A girl.

Well, what'd she say?

It's hard to remember. This was months ago.

Hey.

Two cases?

You've got to be kidding me.

Don't worry, I didn't use your money.

I used mine.

and then pack a bag.

We are going to Meemaw's.

- Why? - Because your mom and dad

need a break from each other.

For how long?

I don't know. Just pack.

Will I need earmuffs?

Sure, if you want.

Although my almanac does predict mild temperatures.

Then don't bring it.

I'll just bring my almanac.

You know what, I'll bring both.

Should I pack my toothbrush

or use the one I keep at Meemaw's?

I got this one.

Nobody cares.

I don't want to go to Meemaw's house.

What if that girl calls back?

Fine, then stay here with your father.

Sheldon and Missy, we are out of here in half an hour.

Not a lot of time to pick a toothbrush.

Come on in.

Mom and Dad need a break.

We don't know how long.

What's he got in there?

Everything.

First and ten in the closing minutes of the fourth quarter...

I ain't never getting married.

- That so? - Yeah.

Women are nothing but trouble.

I'll get it!

Hello, Georgie speaking.

Did you run to the phone? Do you feel stupid?

Who was it?

Nobody.

This little tiff

between your mom and me will blow over.

Don't make a big deal of it.

I'm not. I'm just saying

I'm better suited to the single life.

And how do you picture that?