South Park

Okay, children, we have a special guest today--

a woman recruiting young people for a national choir tour.

Now, I know that choir tours are totally stupid and lame,

but please give her your full attention.

Go ahead.

Uh, thank you, Mr. Garrison.

How are we all doing today?

I can't hear you.

I said, how are we all doing?

Eric Cartman, you say "excuse me"!

Okay!

Go ahead.

Children, we are a national choir called

"Getting Gay with Kids"!

We're gonna do a big tour

down in Central America

to help save the rain forest,

and you can be a part of it!

Kenny McCormick,

you speak when you're spoken to!

Go ahead.

You see, we take kids from all over the country

and put them in a choir, where we sing

and dance to raise awareness

about our vanishing rain forests.

Did you know over 10,000 acres of rain forest

are bulldozed every year?

That's right, and over 30%

of the world's oxygen is made in the rain forest.

So who wants to join the fun?

What if we don't have any rhythm?

Excuse me?

Like my friend Kyle.

He's Jewish, so he doesn't have any rhythm.

Shut up, fat-ass!

Choirs suck!

Kyle Broflovski,

you watch your language!

Eric Cartman, you be nice to people!

Stan Marsh, you mind your manners!

Kenny McCormick, you pay attention!

Go ahead.

Well, uh, that's all, really.

So, if anyone is interested

in seeing the rain forest and joining our choir,

I'll leave information packets up front.

Oh, that's good. We need some more toilet paper.

All right, that does it!

I am tired of seeing you in my office,

young man! You get sent here

every day, Craig.

I know.

Why can't you behave?

I don't know.

What do you have to say for yourself?

Well, I tell you what, young man,

you're gonna be held back a grade if you don't--

Did you just flip me off?!

No.

Yes, you did!

You just flipped me the bird!

Now, see, this is exactly

what I'm talking about-- If you don't

shape up, okay, and get your head straight--

There, you just flipped me off again!

No, I didn't!

Yes, you did!

And until you stop

flipping people off,

you can just go back to the waiting room, M'kay?

Next!

Well, well, well,

if it isn't Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Eric.

Hey, Craig!

Hey, don't flip me off, you son of a bitch!

Sit down, boys.

Now let's see,

what did Mr. Garrison send you in here for?

"The boys were being rude while a choir teacher

was giving some stupid presentation."

It's just some dumb activist kids' choir thing!

Uh, young man, "Getting Gay with Kids" is not dumb, M'kay?

It just so happens that I'm on the board of directors.

Dude, all those choirs are the same.

They don't even really sing, they use prerecorded tapes!

Well, guess what, boys?

I think that "Getting Gay with Kids" is just what you need!

I'm gonna sign up all four of you!

What?! You can't do that!

: Yippee!

I think this will be very good for you.

But we don't even care about the rain forest!

And that's exactly why you need to go, M'kay?

Please, Mr. Mackey! We'll be good!

Don't send us to that old kids' choir.

Have mercy, Mr. Mackey!

Be safe, Kyle.

Bring me something back from the rain forest.

Oh, no, no, no.

The rain forest is very fragile.

We must take only pictures and leave only footprints.

Oh, I didn't realize.

Did you know that right now bulldozers are tearing down

thousands of acres of rain forest every day?

Aw, man! This is gonna suck donkey balls!

Please don't make me go on a choir tour, Mom! Please!

Stan, you should be excited.

I would love to see the rain forest.

Besides, your dad and I need some time alone.

No!

Okay, children, that's all of us.

We're ready to head for the Latin American nation of Costa Rica,

a country filled with virgin rain forest!

Whoopee.

And you must be Eric Cartman.

I've heard about you.

You don't respect nature or other cultures.

Yeah, pretty much.

Well, I'm gonna change the way you think, kiddo.

My name's Kelly.

Lenny?

Johnny?

Oh. Now we've got a long trip

ahead of us,

so let's take the opportunity

to learn our choreography.

The nightmare begins.

Oh, look, children!

I think we're entering San Jose,

which is the capitol of Costa Rica!

Oh, this is so exciting!

Oh, my God, dude!

Look how dirty and crappy everything is!

Eric, Costa Rica is a Third World country.

These people are much poorer than those in the U.S.

Well, why the hell don't they get jobs?

Hey!

Why don't you people

quit slacking off and get a job!

What's wrong with you?

Go to college!

Eric, sit down!

Look, you gotta be firm with these people,

or they just slack off and be poor forever. Right, Kenny?

Hey, maybe that's it, Kenny.

Maybe you're Costa Rican, and that's why your family's

so poor.

Your family isn't poor?

Wow, dude!

look over there!

Wow! Costa Rican prostitutes!

Hey, look at the prostitutes, you guys!

What are chu looking at, mang?

Yeah, why don't chu take a peek-ture!

Okay.

"Cleek."

Eric, sit down!

Kids, this is the Costa Rican capitol building.

This is where all the leaders

of the Costa Rican government make their--

Oh, my God, it smells like ass out here!

All right, that does it!

Eric Cartman, you respect other cultures this instant!

I wasn't saying anything about their culture!

I'm just saying their city smells like ass.

Wow, seeing a place like this

really makes you appreciate living in America, huh?

: Mm-hmm.

You may think

that making fun

of Third World countries is funny, but let me--

I don't think it's funny!

This place is overcrowded, smelly and poor!

That's not funny! That sucks!

Eric, will you please, please, just keep your mouth shut

while we present ourselves to the Costa Rican president?

Why?

Because I'll buy you

some ice cream afterwards, if you do.

Well, it was a long trip

but the children are very excited to sing tomorrow.

¿Que?

Uh, we're, uh, we're the choir

that-that was sent from the United States?

¿Que?

We're the group singing

for the "Save the Rain Forest" summit tomorrow?

Oh, dear, where's Mr. Mackey?

He should've been here by now.

Children, do any of you speak Spanish?

Don't you dare!

Sorry I'm late.

Oh, thank goodness you're here.