Invasion, U.S.A.

Chicago Cubs beat the Pittsburgh Pirates six to three.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'll have a complete

sports roundup for you in just a moment.

Tim, another bourbon.

Coming right up.

Here's the news bulletin from the nation's capital.

Washington officially this morning denies

rumors of enemy planes over northern Alaska.

Meanwhile, there's been no lessening of international tension and

informed sources refuse to discount the possibility of all-out war.

Shut that thing off, I got enough war talk at home.

Yeah, you can say that again.

Meanwhile, in Italy, the communists caused another riot...

Quiet, jerk!

As communists marched on Rome-

That'll hold you.

I wish I could keep him that quiet when he comes in here.

Customer of yours?

Yeah, the TV station's right down the street.

And what do you think the lug drinks?

A shaved flip.

Oh, you must know him, huh?

No.

Then you've seen him in here?

No.

Well, then, how did you know-

He looks like the sort of person who'd take a shaved flip.

Say, he does at that.

Hi, Tim, how about a beer?

Why sure, ain't you working today?

Yeah, but I thought I'd work in a nice cool bar.

Mind if I start with you, sir?

My name is Potter, Vince Potter. I'm a commentator for station TVNY.

Would you mind answering a question for tomorrow's program?

You gonna use it on television?

That's the idea.

Well, uh, gosh I'll be glad to.

Good.

First, I'll get your name and address, huh.

Ed Mulfory, Boulder County, Arizona.

Arizona. Occupation?

I'm a cattle-raiser.

Cattle-raiser.

Now, here's today's question,

are you for or against the universal draft?

Now, by that I mean draft everything

soldiers for the army, factories for war

work, labor for factories, the whole business.

Well, there's too much government in business already.

You take cattle, now.

One bureau shoves the cost of feed up and another keeps the price of beef down.

That's why I cut my herd down to 3,000 head this year.

No.

I'd have raised 5,000 if they hadn't put price controls on.

Another bourbon.

And do they soak you with those income taxes.

Oh, brother.

You pay a high income tax?

Plenty.

You must make a great deal of money.

I do all right.

Well, down with taxes.

What would you like, honey?

A scotch over ice.

You know, I don't know why you New Yorkers drink scotch.

Stuff tastes like medicine to me.

What do you drink in San Francisco?

A daiquiri.

That sounds like a sissy drink to me.

I just like the cracked ice.

Scotch and a cracked ice.

I beg your pardon.

I'm Vince Potter.

Yeah?

At television station TVNY.

Oh, yes.

I'd like to ask you both a question

but, first, may I have your name, sir?

Sylvester, George Sylvester.

Your occupation?

I'm a tractor manufacturer.

Tractor maker.

Your name?

Miss?

Miss Sanford, Carla Sanford.

Telephone number?

Rhineland 1717.

Now, look here.

It's all right, George.

I listen to Mr Potter every Friday. His program's very popular in New York.

So is he evidently.

Thank you.

Now, here's tonight's question, Mr Sylvester.

Are you for or against the universal draft

army, labor, factory, everything?

Draft factories, that's communism.

Communism.

That's a good quote.

They tried that on me last week

but I told them where to get off.

Last week, where was that?

My plant.

They sent an army major in to see me.

It would take me six months to get in production on these tank parts,

in the meantime, what would happen to my tractor sales?

The army needs tanks, Mr Sylvester.

Oh sure, I'd like to hear you tell that to some of my dealers.

If your dealers are good Americans,

they'll know that tanks are more important than tractors.

All they know is if they don't get tractors to sell, they're out of business.

If an enemy nation conquered America, they'd be out of business for good.

Fat chance.

I'm sorry, Major. I'd like to accommodate you,

but I've spent 10 years in building up my sales organization

and I'm not going to throw it away to do the government a favor.

Mr Sylvester, if people like you won't

cooperate with your government willingly,

the day may come when we'll be forced to take

over your plants without asking your permission.

Over my dead body.

Now, let me tell you something, Major,

the people of this country will never stand for a police state

and you can go back to Washington and tell them that for me.

Yes, sir, just because he was wearing a major's uniform,

he thought he could threaten me but I sure told him off.

You sure did.

How about you, Miss Sanford?

You believe in drafting women as well as men?

Well, it all depends on what you want to draft us for.

- War work. - Huh?

I mean labor in a munitions factory, for instance.

I worked in a factory for a while during the last war.

It ruined my hands so I quit.

Another drink, Tim, for everybody.

Excuse me gentlemen and young lady,

Harroway is my name.

Congressman Harroway.

I'm just in New York for over the weekend.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Well, it's nice to know you too.

Valuable work you're doing, young man,

seeking the voice of the people.

I believe in it, that's the American Way, the Democratic way.

Thank you, sir.

That's Arthur Harroway, isn't it, of Illinois?

Arthur V., thank you, young man.

You won't mention the locale of our interview, of course.

Oh, of course not.

Some of my constituents might not understand, you know.

Uh, well, gentlemen speaking of the voice of the people,

I don't believe that anyone hears it with the same regularity as a congressman.

Hundreds of letters coming in every week.

People telling you what they're for, what they're against.

Let me tell you what they're against,

they're against communists.

Yes, sir, they want communism destroyed wherever it rears its ugly head.

Another thing the people don't like is war.

No, sir, they don't like war at all.

They don't want it.

Thanks.

Are you against war, sir?

Yes, I'm against it.

Thank you.

Another thing the people don't like are these high taxes,

sending all that money to Europe.

Yes, sir, what my constituents want are lower taxes.

Do you want lower taxes?

Oh, none at all.

Maybe I better get you in this symposium too?

May I have your name, sir?

My name is Ohman.

Ohman.

Oh, yeah, like the bandleader O-H-M-A-N, isn't it?

- It will do. - Uh-huh.

Your occupation, Mr Ohman?

I am a forecaster.

Weather forecaster.

And what do you think of the draft?

I think America wants new leadership.

New leadership, what kind of leadership do you suggest?

I suggest a wizard.

A what?

A wizard like Merlin,

who could kill his enemies by wishing them dead.

That's the way we like to beat communism now,

by wishing it dead.

The manufacturer wants more war orders and lower taxes.

Labor wants more consumer products in a 30-hour week.

The college boy wants a stronger army

and a deferment for himself.

The businessman wants a bigger Air Force and a new Cadillac.

The housewife wants security and an electric dishwasher.

Everybody wants a strong America

and we all want the same man to pay for it.

George, let George do it.

Ah, I disagree with you.

I don't want to let George do it.

You must be the exception.

No, I'm George.

Oh, that's a hot one.