Nip/Tuck - Fifth Season

Previously on Nip/Tuck...

- You ever screwed on nitrous? - It's dangerous.

You can trust me. I'm an anesthesiologist.

- You two some sort of couple now? - They offered me a deal at penetrate.

To do porn?

We just had to snatch her up.

How's my baby doing?

The tumor has spread to the supraclavicular lymph nodes.

- Give me a ballpark. - 6 months.

What are you doing here?

I want you to marry me.

Tell us what you don't like about yourself, Ms. Blaylock.

Me first, I guess.

- What is that? Something bite you? - Yeah.

My bad.

You did that?

I was trying to match the one she gave me.

That's a good thing you had italian for lunch.

- That garlic breath might saves us. - That's hollywood bullshit.

- We love garlic as much as anyone else. - The sun doesn't melt us.

We don't get burned by holy water. And looking at crosses is no big deal.

So, you're vampires. OK.

If you have to label us,

we prefer to be called sangs, not vampires.

- You actually drink each other's blood? - We have routine blood work done,

so we know we're not sharing any diseases.

We just pierce the skin and offer each other a taste.

It's our intimacy,

sharing this most sacred of bodily fluids.

But last week, we took it too far.

I'll say.

You realize how close you got to her artery?

I hit it.

By mistake.

Take me.

The paramedics had to come.

The vascular surgeons stopped the bleeding,

but the E.R. Docs did a horrible job suturing the skin.

It took me almost losing her

to realize that we'd gone too far with the blood lust.

Like addicts.

Our behavior's become dangerous and we need to stop it.

So, you're off the blood?

- Congrats. - Sneer if you like, doctor.

But the restorative powers of blood can be kind of addicting, you know?

You get this immediate rush.

Your color changes.

It can restore your heart, your liver, kidneys.

We're familiar with the effects of transfusion.

We were just hoping to preserve ourselves,

to stay young and vital as long as possible.

As plastic surgeons, you should relate.

The idea of chasing immortality is something you make a killing off of.

Synchro: Guig

Episode 522

"Giselle Blaylock and Legend Chandler"

It's...

9:00.

Where are you?

Oh, there's my little honey bunny.

Sorry I'm late, darling. I was on a winnin'streak.

Just couldn't tear myself away.

And don't get started on how I have a gambling problem.

It isn't a problem unless you lose. And tonight, baby, I won big.

You and this little lady.

And she decided to spend her winnings by getting rid of her saddlebags.

Walked right in here after hitting the jackpot.

You are a genius. You know that, Harland?

Where else but in Vegas can you get your thighs sucked at 9:00 at night?

Hey, sugar, I think that was your idea.

And it was a good one. When in Rome.

I mean, if 2 people can get married in an Elvis chapel

at 4:00 in the morning...

Congratulations, Dixie.

- Very exciting. - I know.

Now, sugar, how's your aunt doing?

The doctors say it won't be long now.

You're a good girl, Dixie.

That's why I love you.

I just hope she appreciates your visits.

Now, let's get this show on the road.

The sooner we play doctor, the sooner we can play doctor.

What?

What are you waiting for? She wants to know the truth.

He's all nervous about hurting your feelings, but me?

I don't have that problem.

You're a relic. We want you out of our bed.

- Shut up, you stupid skank. - Hey, no drama in here.

Look.

Eden and I have been talking this over. Talking about the future.

Talking about a lot of things. The bottom line, baby...

This is not working out.

- You're breaking up with me? - Yes.

- Let me guess why. - 'Cause your face is like an old purse

from all that horrible tanning booth damage,

your hair is like the hay I feed my horse,

and your knees kind or resemble a circus elephant.

- I should be feeding you peanuts. - Wait till you turn 30, horseface.

They'll be putting you on a train right to the glue factory.

And for your information, Christian Troy, my ex,

who happens to be the best plastic surgeon in the city,

told me 2 weeks ago he couldn't find one thing that needs improvement on me.

In fact, I was probably the most gorgeous woman,

perfect woman, that he has ever seen for her age.

For. Her. Age.

- Ram. - You gotta get realistic here.

Kimmy, there does come a time

when there's no more procedures, no more plastic surgery.

Youth goes away.

And when you've been trying to keep a hold of it as much as you have,

it's no longer sexy.

It's just desperate.

You know what?

You've just done me a big favor.

I am a symbol of sensuality, glamour, and power,

and I have been wasting my time with you two low-rent,

scumbag assholes.

I don't need you anymore, Ram.

I will survive.

No, in fact, I am going to thrive without you.

The legend of Kimber Henry will live forever.

We have to do a little muscle repair,

resect the skin

here

and here.

You all right?

Here, babe. Have some.

I'm afraid to ask. What is that stuff?

What is this shit, legend?

It's got all the vegetables and minerals we need.

I thought you were giving me the blood from a steak or...

We are weaning ourselves off, remember?

I guess I won't be needing these anymore.

Biowaste. I'll dispose of them.

What about yours? Must be a bitch to floss.

Mine are the real thing.

Dentist has to file them down next week.

Well, if there are no more questions...

Dr. McNamara will see you in surgery.

You're cool.

Most people get off on judging us.

- Live and let live. - Emphasis on "live."

You only go around once.

I've figured out a way to live forever.

Cryogenics?

I'm gonna need your help.

When you see that I'm close, you have to call the cryogenics company.

Any time, 24/7.

But you have to time it right, Sean. I'm counting on you.

He's ready.

The standby team will come to the house,

pack me in ice to prevent ischemic damage,

and transport me to a storage location.

They'll prepare me, then place me in my cryostat.

The liquid nitrogen will freeze my body

and put me in a state of suspended animation.

My cells, still rich with oxygen.

My cancer will be frozen, unable to multiply.

A troysicle!

I tell you what. Is jabba the hut gonna hang you on his wall?

I'm serious about this.

Think about all the advancements they've made in cancer research.

10, 20 years from now, they'll have got a cure.

- And then what? - And then they'll revive me.

Make me healthy again.

Dad?

I'll be able to see Wilber go to college.

I'll be able to play with Matt's kids.

Our grandchildren.

This is why you haven't helped me with the wedding?

I understand that you're afraid of dying.

We are all afraid of you dying

and what life is going to be without you,

but is there any scientific evidence that this procedure works?

And what effect do you think liquid nitrogen

at a temperature close to absolute 0 is gonna have on your skin?

How much is all this going to cost?

There's a $200,000 initiation fee and it's 5 grand a month after that.

You got any better suggestions of how I should spend my money?

Maybe leave it to the people who are gonna still be alive?

You are such a spoiled little dick.

Is that all you care about? My money?

- No, Christian. - I mean, no, that's fine.

Take it. Here you go. Here's 20. Another one.

Here you go. Take that. Have it. Take it all. Here you go.

Look at all this money you can have.

Is this enough money for you? You little dick!

- Look. - Take it all.

It's amazing, man. Even dying doesn't make you any less of an asshole.

But it's good.

What are you doing?

I'm meeting with an ice sculptor.

Would you please talk him out of this?

You know, any time you spend searching for immortality,

you miss out on a little bit you actually have left.

Just come to the place and see it with me.

Sorry I'm late.

No excuses.

Just sorry.

At least you're consistent.