zaki chan (زكي شان)

Shame on you, shame on you man, you let a chick beat the hell out of you

- How are you doing? What? What is it? - Hey Sayed

You're so high-strung man, let's get out of here

- Just wait a minute - Come on, it's 3 am

- Hold on a minute, Sayed - Let's go, you're here every day

- Just give me a minute, Sayed - Come on, we have to go

- Just a minute - Come on, get up

Come on, they're gonna lock us in, man

You're so strange, pal

You play video games every day, every day, man

I'd like to get me one of these games at home

- Zaki - What?

- We're in trouble, brigands - Brigands? What do they do?

- Brigands, they're bandits - Bandits? That's fine, come with me

- What are you going to do? - Don't you worry

Look Sayed, I want to follow exactly every move I make

Just do exactly as I do

Fine

Good evening, dudes

God bless you, my dearest boy and protect you from any imminent danger

What a nice fellow

Bring out all the dough you've got, my good pal

Why is that, man? You're making a big mistake

- You shouldn't have said ''bring out'' - I said bring out all the dough you've got

Take your hands off me, coz this is a new jacket, pal

See Sayed? That's just fine or you want me to do it the hard way

Take off this new jacket of yours, pal

By the way, you nearly brought me down to the floor

That's fine, that's okay

Here's my new jacket, here you go, it's got my picture as a little boy

But you may have it, enjoy looking at it

- Take off your pants too - No, I can't take my pants off

- Yes, I will take my pants off - Go quickly

Give me a minute, you're trying to start a fight with me, I don't wanna hurt you, man

- Quickly - Fine, I'm taking it off

By the way, this is so wrong, we're neighbors

I live in the fourth floor of that building

- I said, hurry up - Fine, fine, just take it easy

Here is my pants, here you go, although it's a bit loose

What about you, sweet little boy, why don't you take off your clothes?

- You're waiting for your nanny's help? - I won't take insults from him, Zaki

I'll do whatever you want, just let me handle my friend

What's your problem Sayed? I told you to follow exactly every move I make

Take off the shirt, you

- What did you just call him? - Sweet little boy

Thanks, go ahead sweet little boy

- Do it quickly, and your pants too - No, not my pants

What's this? You've tied your pants to your face, Sayed?

Here you go sir, just give me a second to get the other stuff

Excuse us for the delay

Why don't you give the boys our honorary suits?

- My God - Don't let them leave like this

And take a special care of this one, he's been a very bad boy and I like him

- Okay - Thank you, see?

He likes me, you'd better listen to what I say the next time

Quickly, man coz I'm shivering

Thank God, dad's not awake

Gamal's asleep too

In God we trust, Amen

In God we trust, Amen, come over here

- Me? - Yeah you? Who would am I calling then?

Where were you until this late hour, Zaki?

- I... was saying the early morning prayer - The morning prayer? What's this?

- What? - What the hell is this shape you're in?

What is it?

You were saying the morning prayer looking like this?

- No - What then?

- Just let me explain - You did it again?

- Did what again? - You did it again, Zaki?

You did it again, you good for nothing

- Just let me explain, dad - What will you explain?

You went there again and let them steal your clothes and beat you up again?

- No, no, that's not true - Again? It's not true?

You're totally shameless, boy? Don't you have any feelings?

Don't you have feelings you stupid useless boy

You tore off my pocket, daddy

It just fell down, here you go, here you go, boy

You're happy now? Do I have a monkey in this house?

Since you're not up to the challenge, why do you go them to get beaten up?

I didn't get beaten up, daddy, I did the beating myself

Oh yeah, I've knocked hell out of them and this is their pajamas

- Where are your clothes? - With them

You want me to leave them totally naked?

No, how come? It's not right

You want me to spend a fortune on your food on clothes and your assailants' too?

- Just calm your nerves, dad - Have pity

- Calm down dad - Have pity on me

- You're so hot dad - Hot? That's none of your business

You'll kill me one day

Come here, I'm so tired, I can't take, come over here

- Just leave me alone dad - Take this, Zaki, take, my heart

- My heart - What is it, dad?

- My heart - What's wrong dad?

- My heart - See? You always pull that trick and I buy it

- Oh yeah, you're such a weasel - See? I can catch you

- Where would you go, Zaki? - No dad

Stop right there, I said don't move, holy shit

You shouldn't tear off other people's clothes?

What would I say now? I was just playing with my dad?

Playing with you dad, you insolent little boy

Come here, you think I won't catch you? You're gonna spend the night out?

Come over here, don't give me such a hard time, boy come

Don't you throw apples at me dad, no, no, no

You're gonna cripple me, boy, you're gonna cripple me

- What is it dad? - You insolent

What are you yelling at?

Come and see what is your troublesome brother doing

What's all the fuss about, dad?

A bunch of guys hit me, took my clothes and got what they deserve

Who hit you and took your clothes and got what they deserve?

Nobody hit me, I didn't leave my house

- It's your brother - Who hit you and took your clothes...

- ...and got what they deserve? - Some guys living around the block

Give me a minute, I'll go get changed and bring them over here shackled

Don't do it Gamal, I don't want you to go get somebody else

My own brother got hit and you want me to just stand still?

Just wait for some other day, I'll be able to come with you

Listen, since I got up, I have to start a fight

Suit yourself

- Where to, honey? - I'm up and I have to start a fight

Why don't you wait until I deliver my baby so that I can give you a hand?

You hit him first, honey

- Hey Ziko - Hey Suraya

- How are you doing, Ziko? - How is your unborn baby?

Your brother's boy is giving me such a hard time

He's always on the move, just like his father

- Salem, good morning - Salem?

- I'm just kidding with you, Salem - Fine

- Would you like to have for dinner? - I'd like to have some nice cheese

I'll fix you a nice dish of beans in a flash

Walk steadily, you don't wanna stumble

- You really are an insolent boy - Why is that?

You haven't had enough already, you still want to have something to eat?

You want me to starve?

We're running out of apples or what?

It's the seventh one

What's this?

Holy shit, what the hell is this?

What is this?

What the hell? Ain't this the TV remote control?

Why is it in the fridge? Lest it should melt?

This is sheer madness, I don't get it, what's going on?

That's so unbearable

My sweet boy, an angel sleeping amongst rubbish

ls this possible? Is this possible? What's this?

What's this? Who'd sleep with...? Holy shit, what's this?

Could he be using this as a sleeping pill?

Why is he holding it in his arms?

What's this? What's this?

What's this?

What's this dad? It's the same thing everyday

Cigarettes and tea for breakfast?

You're smoking too?

- Not me, it's Sayed - Who's Sayed?

My friend, Sayed Sika

Why would your friend Sayed Sika smoke outside

and put his cigarette off in my house?

- Their house is a bit small - You're joking?

- No, I'm not - You're joking? I'm sick and tired of you

Get up, get away from this dump of yours

- Fine, fine - Get up

- Fine dad - Why are still sitting? Get up

- Just stay put, dad - Why?

So that I can throw them in the glass

- In the glass? - You want me to throw them on the floor?

No, throw them in the glass we're supposed to drink with

You filthy boy, you filthy boy

- And what the hell is this? - It's my shoes

I know it's not your jacket, why is it sleeping in your arms?

Why? Have pity on me

- Go on, get up, get up, get up - I spend hours looking for it each morning

Fine, there it is, not on the bed, go on, get up

- Okay, okay - Get up

Just give me five minutes, I'll have a quick dream and I'll be back

Where will you be back? I'm not waiting for you in here, get up

- Here I am, here I am - Get the hell up, you're always like this?

You're either taking a nap or sleeping or taking a bath

The bathroom is available or should I obey the call of nature in a drawer?

- You do it in a drawer? - You want me to do it on the balcony

The balcony is much more suitable, it's open air whereas a drawer is a closed area

The hell with you and your filthy habits

- Go ahead, you can use the bathroom - Okay

You used up all the water available, go ahead, go on, quick

- I'll be right with you, I'll be right with you - Fine

What a fuss early in the morning

Go wake your wife, Gamal

Never mind my wife, dad, she's pregnant and feeling tired, you know

She went to sleep after cleaning the house

- That's okay - Give me a loaf of bread, Gamal

This bread ain't fresh, a bit of beans, cheese and jam

- A nice quick breakfast - Why don't sit and eat like normal people?

That's normal dad, lots of people have their breakfast while standing up

How nice, you find the right answer for everything

Forget about him dad, it's a disgusting human being

What Gimo? Aren't you forgetting something?

- Just leave him alone, dad - Exactly, exactly

Thank God

Why don't you shut the door like normal people?

Lots of people slam the door, dad

- Why don't you throw me a frying pan? - Beat it