Kevin Can Wait

Boom. When ya have it, boys.

Man, he beat every one of us.

Actually, not everyone.

Oh, yeah? What's... What's... What's that supposed to mean?

You haven't played me.

Ah, oh, it wouldn't be fair. I'm from the homeland.

Competitive darts is, uh, oozing out of my pores.

Really? Um...

there's not a sport on this planet you can beat me at.

All right? And I'll tell you what.

How about 20 bucks, right now,

we play high score, three darts?

- Come on. - Mr. Gable,

you can have your three darts.

I only need one.

Whoa!

It just got real. Dude, he just called you out.

Ah, now, now, now, gentlemen,

it's just a friendly challenge.

I'll go first.

Side-arm.

- Whoa! - Oh-ho!

Oh! ho, ho ho!

I believe that's what you fellas would call a "microphone drop."

All right, all right, fine, whatever.

You got a bull's-eye, all right?

50 points. I can beat that easy. I get three darts.

Oh, I anxiously await that.

- Come on, guy. Come on. - Do it, Kev.

Come on. I got this, man.

All right, 'cause you idiots are in my peripheral vision.

- You got to step back. - All right.

Does that even count, by the way?

It shouldn't even count. We moved. Good luck. Come on.

- All right. - You just need a, what?

A triple 20 and you win.

All right, stop, okay? Here we go.

There we go. Ugh.

Kid got in his head. Yep.

Well, t-that's 3. You just need

- 47 more with one dart. - I-I know what I got to do,

- All right, come on. Come on. - okay? I'm doing it!

- Try it side-arm. - I'm doin' it side-arm! American-style!

Dingdong. Wendy's here.

Hey, how you doin'?

Good.

Always good when I'm cooking. How are you?

Always good when I'm eating.

Means that we're both good. What?

What are we lookin' at?

Well, I'll give you a hint.

It rhymes with...

enchiladas.

- It's enchiladas. I'm really - Okay.

- Bad at that. - Yeah, no, that's all right. No prob...

Hey, if they're as good as the ones I had two weeks ago,

I am gonna be very, very happy.

They're better.

Last time I used a ground chuck.

This time...

- Kobe beef. - Wow.

I am gonna start calling you State Farm,

'cause you are a good neighbor.

Let me get in here and try this.

- All right. Ooh. It's still warm. - Ooh.

So good.

Mmm.

Oh, my God. Oh, man.

That's literally the best thing I've ever had!

Great. Well, you keep enjoying it.

Oh!

Question.

What are we?

Oh, I know this one.

I just saw this on the, uh, Discovery Channel.

We are like, it's like 98% water.

Right? I mean, it seems crazy.

Doesn't... Doesn't seem to make sense, right?

'Cause we... we'd be like all over the place

and feel like, "Hey"

No, I mean what are we?

- Oh. - Right.

- Well, we're neighbors. We're... - Mm-hmm.

- Friends. - Yeah.

Wen-Wendy, we had this talk.

I mean, you love making the food and I-I love eating it.

- I-I-I don't know. - Um...

We're happy.

I was happy,

but now I want more.

You want the whole enchilada?

I'm serious.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

We're always saying we're gonna do stuff, like see a movie.

But you always seem to have plans.

That is not true. Come on.

Okay, fine. Then let's see a movie Friday night.

This Friday, I do have plans.

- Ugh. - I... N-No, seriously.

It's a, uh... It's a work thing.

Uh, we have a dinner for a small company awards.

You know, it's a local thing.

Okay. Then I can't do this.

You mean, you, uh... You can't do this?

I mean everything.

If you can't make time for me,

then I can't make time for your food.

I-I can make the time.

Great. When?

Uh... I'm pretty busy now,

but April... My April opens right up.

Today.

A matinee movie, you and me.

Okay, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Yay!

- Yeah. Yeah. - Okay.

- I'm gonna go get changed right now. - Okay.

This is gonna be so much fun!

Hey, Kendra!

Did you just, uh, make a date with Wendy?

Yeah.

Come on, Dad. You are unbelievable.

We've been through this.

Can't you see she's controlling you with food?

Oh. Listen, I get it.

You... You don't want me to date.

What? No. No, no, no, no. I want you to date.

Just not her.

Look, it's just a movie, all right?

It's not a big deal.

And, by the way, have... Have you tried this?

Give that a shot.

You will understand what I'm saying.

- Holy crap. - Yep.

That is literally the best thing I've ever had.

I literally... I just said that.

I just, literally, just said that.

Dude, what are you still doing here?

- Go get your movie pants on. - All right, I'm going.

How great is this?

Yeah, it's good. It's good.

Mm.

Now, who's... who's the lady in the sunglasses?

You know, it's... I don't know.

Really, it's kind of hard to concentrate.

My neck's sweating.

Because it looks like the girl from the beginning,

but that girl wasn't wearing sunglasses.

- I'm con... fused. - Shh. Well, why don't we just...

watch it and just see how things shake out, okay?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do that. - Okay.

I never noticed it before, but your ears are adorable.

They look like a cute little question mark.

- They just need a dot - Shh.

On the bottom. Boop. Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Ooh. Ooh, I think we're about to find out the...

Who the killer might be here.

Don't worry. It's not him.

It's the brother. I read it online.

You went to the movies with her?

Yes, it was a mess.

First of all, she wouldn't shut up the whole time,

she was very clingy, and she had bad grandma perfume on.

- Oh, no. - It was the worst date ever.

But this is incredible.

- Oh, my God. Kevin. - Hey, guys.

Just a heads up, I got us some more toilet paper.

So, uh, we're good to go.

W-We got like 500 rolls back there.

I'm sorry.

I grew up very poor, and oftentimes,

we couldn't afford toilet paper.

So I guess it's the child in me

feeling secure knowing we have it.

Oh, Rootger, that's heartbreaking.

- Thank you for understanding. - Of course.

Actually, that's a complete lie.

I love Amazon Prime.

I mean, you click a button, it's there in an hour.

I... I can't stop.

Send it back, okay?

If I only knew how.

All right, so, back to Wendy.

You are gonna march over there

and you are gonna end this thing today.

- I don't think I can do that. - And why is that?

- Okay, do me a favor. Try that. - Okay.

- Try it. - It's... Forget it. Okay.

Oh, my...

We have a problem.

Yep.

- Right? I'm stuck. - No, you are not stuck.

No. No.

Yesterday, it was a movie.

Tomorrow, it's gonna be, "How did she get you down the aisle?"

We are ending this today.

A true nightmare that would be, right?

Though, can you imagine the food at the reception?