Wizards of Waverly Place

Hey, guys! How's it going? So, check it out:

Mom sent more photos of possible beaches

for this year's family photo.

So, wait, we're supposed to go to a place we never go

and put our arms around each other like we never do,

just to have a picture we can send

to people we don't like, anyway?

This year, there's a record number of families

we don't like to send 'em to.

Alex, the annual barefoot family portrait on the beach

is very important. I recently started painting my toenails

in the off chance that I could get in this year's picture?

Of course you can, Harper. You're a Russo now.

Oh, my gosh!

What am I gonna wear? 'Cause this is so drab.

I need something that says Russo.

Oh! I know. I'll wear that dress

that says "Russo" all over it.

That I happened to have made before I ever knew you people.

Duh!

And this is us: making an entrance!

And this is us: shaking an entrance!

♪ And cue the applause! ♪

Mom? Dad?

Please, buddy. We weren't finished.

Yeah, but my life is.

♪ My name is Marty I'm the pops of the Finkles ♪

♪ And I'm Elaine I'm the tops of the Finkles ♪

♪ A dash of pizzazz and a sprinkle of Finkle ♪

♪ Is all that you will need ♪

♪ To make this whole night twinkle ♪

♪ So, come one, come all ♪

♪ Give a snap and a winkle ♪

♪ For the smallest of all, and my favorite Finkle ♪

I don't want to.

Please, buddy. Come on!

♪ I'm Harper Finkle the dinkiest Finkle ♪

♪ More smiles, sweets and cutes ♪

♪ Than you could ever thinkle ♪

♪ Lights, camera, Finkle! ♪

♪ And cue the applause ♪

Oh, you guys are so much better than I remember.

♪ Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ That the end will no doubt justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can have what you want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

Well, this is certainly a surprise.

You're tellin' me.

Why aren't you guys in Pittsburgh?

Well, you'll be pleased to know

that we're here to audition for a gig...

...of the paid variety, no less.

That's great. 35 years on the edge of show business

has finally paid off.

Paid off in spades.

And diamonds and clubs and hearts

and the rest of those jokers.

We're aces, I tell ya!

Paid off for you too, buddy.

You're back in. Just like the old days!

Wait, stop. I can't work a gig with you guys.

I live here now.

We're even putting her in the family photo.

We finally have enough people for a human pyramid.

Come on, buddy.

The Finkles are gonna be putting butts in the seats

for Black Sea Railways in Romania!

♪ Lights, camera, Finkle! ♪

In Romania!

♪ And cue the applause ♪

Sorry, that's just really catchy.

Wait. You can't just waltz back into my life...

Harper, can I talk to you for a minute, please?

- B-R-B. - Gesundheit.

Ah...

OK, how can you not want to go to Romania?

Your parents are so fun.

I mean, look at their ironic clothes and hairstyles.

It's not ironic, it's tragic.

Where do they get their sense of dress?

OK, well, what about how they make everything a joke?

Yeah, try living with them for a few years.

He's been making fun of how old I am since I was seven.

Seven!

We're really sorry to take your little lady

away from you like this.

What are you talking about?

Word on the street is you two lovebirds

are quite a big ticket item.

Oh!

Me and Harper?

Uh, no, sorry. Harper is dating Zeke.

- Zeke Beakerman. - Zeke Beak-erman? It rhymes!

Must be a stage name.

The last thing we need is for our daughter

to date another "Johnny Stage Door."

Being a couple of loose cannon, undependable,

showbiz-types ourselves,

we were hoping our daughter

would wind up with some nice, boring,

accountable square like yourself.

Dad...

Did they just call me a boring square?

Well, you are sort of... a square.

- Wha...? - I mean that in the best way.

- I... - Like, you're not afraid to be yourself.

You know... a boring square.

Everyone thinks I'm a boring square?

They are not going to believe this down at the Hobby Shop.

I can hear 'em laughing now.

Finkles, I got a question for you.

Would you ever make your kids take a lame family photo

- while wearing the same clothes? - It's not lame, Alex.

It's a family tradition.

The Finkles have a family tradition, too.

It's called, whoever falls asleep first

gets a mustache drawn on your face.

Guilty as charged!

I'm a napper.

You guys are awesome.

If Harper doesn't want to be in your act, I'll do it.

Wow. You'll do anything

to get out of realizing your brother's dream

of forming a family pyramid in the sand, won't you?

Pretty much.

"Alex Finkle" sure sounds swell to me.

Is this OK with you, buddy?

Well, I don't wanna do it.

I'm really loving being a Russo. Oh...

Hey, can I be the top of the human pyramid?

Sold! Welcome to the Finkles, buddy.

Rehearsal's at one o'clock.

And this is us making an exit.

Hey, be sure to turn that thing off when we're gone.

Don't want to waste the batteries!

Well, Alex, that was...

I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into.

I'll be fine. I mean...

You like being a Russo so much,

it'll be cool for me to try and be a Finkle for awhile.

- Do you even know where Romania is? -

Yes. It's in Rome. Duh!

I know my states.

- She's right, you know. - No, she's not.

Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. D in geography.

Romania is a country in Eastern Europe

that's full of gymnasts and vampires.

Gymnasts and vampires?

Maybe Justin can come with and find a new girlfriend.

Hey, I'm getting the Finkle rhythm down.

♪ And cue the applause ♪

I don't know what to do about Alex without Theresa here.

I mean, Theresa always tells me what to do.

Well, can't you just tell Alex she can't go?

You're her Dad.

Well, Dad, whatever you tell her to do,

she's just gonna do the opposite.

Unless she knows what you're gonna do

and then she'll do the opposite of that.

So, we gotta find something that's not opposite.

Max is right.

We'll use reverse psychology. We'll tell her she has to go,

and then she won't want to.

That could work.

Good idea, Max. Thanks for your help.

Harper, Justin told me what your parents said.

And you don't have to worry.

I'm going to turn myself into the boring loser

that your parents want me to be.

They didn't say "boring loser."

No, but they were thinking it.

Or at least I was.

Why does everyone think that I'm a boring loser?

I am just as engaging and entertaining as Zeke.

Whoa, bro, not so fast.

Are you the captain of three different clogging teams?

I don't think so!

Oh, no! I didn't think about how cool my clogging comes across.

He is interesting!

Zeke, wait. Let's talk about this.

No, no. If your parents want me to change,

then I'm gonna change.

Starting today, I'm gonna somehow suppress my urge

to do a Double Stomp, followed by the Mountain Goat.

All right. Later, Russos. This Finkle's gotta get to rehearsal.

Alex... I just wanted you to know that

we all want you to go to Romania with the Finkles.