Kite Man: Hell Yeah!

Well, if you have to be on the run

from two of the most ruthless villains in the world,

never hurts to see the words,

"Free breakfast."

"Free Continental breakfast."

Hey, remind me on what continent

they eat this trash for breakfast?

Okay.

How about we sit and enjoy

our sour cream parfaits?

We should go back to Noonan's.

Babe, that's the first place Lex and Helen will look.

Plus, this is fun.

We're on the run, like Bonnie and Clyde.

That's ridiculous.

You are such a Clyde.

Yeah. I say we lay low, let tempers cool,

then reach out to Lex and Helen on our terms.

Ask them what they'd give us for it.

Fuck, no! With this, I can control my powers.

We don't have to answer to anybody anymore.

No doubt.

All I'm saying is, we don't exactly know

what this briefcase thing is.

And while it's super cool

that you can totally control your powers now,

that there might be

side effects we aren't considering.

Maybe mood related.

Oh, no. Uh, not quite finished with that.

Whoa! Babe!

There's something creepy about those guys, Chuck.

They wanted the briefcase.

All right. Well, maybs still a smidge of an overreact-sh.

Uh, babe,

I know we're not answering to anyone,

but I feel like we should take this.

- It's Noonan. - FIne.

And next time, there better be yogurt down here!

And some eggs fucking Benedict!

Stop it.

All right. I did some digging.

When you open the case, is there something inside?

- Yeah. - Good.

- Does it glow? Okay. - Yeah.

When you look at it,

do you see the struggle of chaos over empathy?

The all-knowing and the unknowable?

The faint shrieks of the damned

ringing in the caverns of your soul?

Uh... yeah.

What you have is definitely

the Anti-Life Equation.

- The what? - The most feared

weapon in the universe.

They say it bestows the power to enslave minds.

That there's no telling what it does

to whoever holds it.

- Okie-doke. - Listen...

bad people are looking for that.

If you got somewhere to hide,

I suggest you go there.

I think I know just the place.

A resort and spa?

Babe, here we can be on the run for our lives

and have a relaxing, couple's getaway.

Plus, I trust the owner. He's an old friend.

Kite Man!

Damn good to see you!

So glad you're back together, Fables.

And I forgot how much I love that outfit.

Yeah, feels good.

That cockroach Insect Queen

scurried into her cocoon real fast

once I got my body back.

Thanks for throwing me the party.

Of course. I love throwing re-capitation parties.

This party is lifting my spirits,

which had been crushed

after I did not win Sexiest Villain.

Well, I suppose you could say you're technically

the second sexiest.

Oh! Well, I haven't thought of that.

Second sexiest is the first un-sexiest.

Back in business, huh?

Let's just say I got some killing to catch up on.

But first, gonna kill these glutes

in my Bangin' Booty class.

Give my legs their "damn" back.

Yeah, must be nice

to do a workout class or, you know, walk.

Hold up. Anybody else feel that?

I think a super fucking ungrateful breeze

- just blew through. - Oh. Wow.

So I'm supposed to, what,

thank you after you blew my shot with Insect Queen?

She was gonna eat you, you dumb motherfucker!

- Says you. - You're welcome.

You're just jealous she was so into me.

Y'all hearing this shit?

Go on, bears.

Lick that half naked ingrate out of that honey.

Oh, sure! Walk away!

Got your body back, suddenly you're too good for Moe!

This is the most premier, high-end resort in the country.

We got fresh air for days.

- Is that a nuclear power plant? - You're damn right it is.

That's how I got the land so cheap.

Smart. This place is gorgeous, Frank.

Thanks.

I provide Gotham's rich and famous

with an exclusive private getaway.

Hey, now look here, don't worry.

I got you off the books. Our highest level of privacy.

I understand you got a little trinket

that some bad peeps want.

Sure do.

Bit of a Catch Twenty Dos,

can't let it fall into the wrong hands.

Can't keep it in our hands.

It's turned my cuddly, snuggle bear

into a bit of a grizzly, murder bear.

So, yeah, still noodling on how we get rid of it.

No, we are not.

Well, you can trust the old Frank there, snuggle bear.

I'll keep it quiet. And while you're here

enjoy a massage, a sauna, rent bikes, whatever you want.

You know Frank got you, baby.

Mom?

Ooh, bike ride and picnic around the nuke plant could be fun.

'Splode my mother!

- Are you kidding me? - What is it?

Lex and Helen want to meet with me privately.

Saying it's super important.

The hell, you think they want?

Isn't it obvious?

They want Bane at the big boy table.

I thought you said Lex Luthor treated you like rubbish.

Um, no. I said "garbage."

But that was before Helen.

She knows a supervillain when she sees one.

She clearly convinced Lex that I'm worthy of respect.

Uh-huh...

But, do not worry.

I will not forget about you guys.

You will all have minor jobs

at my supervillain 'ministration.

- Ugh. - Thank you, I guess.

Yeah, right, I'm holding my breath.

Um, Fables, is that a friend of yours?

Goddamn it! Goldilocks got out?

Do you want some cigarettes?

Cigarettes are too smokey.

Right. Um, Fables...

Ugh! I forgot how annoying she is.

All right, you golden little shit, back in the book.

Hmph! I don't want to.

Come on, in the book.

Um, looks like the little lady does not want to go, Fables.

Maybe you should let her stay for a bit?

Then somebody's gotta watch her.

I'm late for Bangin' Booty.

Then I'm getting my nails done.

- Oh, hell no. - I'm not a fuckin' babysitter.

Fine! Then you're babysitting, Bane.

Yay!

Well, the thing is,

I am not great with kids.

Happy birthday, Liam.

What... what is this?

Hm. It is despair.

Um, I was hoping for a swan?

Despair is what comes

when we do not get the things we hope for.

Okay! Um...

Perhaps anguish?

Uh, misery?

Or... or a poodle?

So, yeah. Not really a babysitter.

Hmm.

I suppose I could keep an eye

for a short bit.

- Bye. - But do not forget.

I have got my big Lex and Helen thing later.

So...

Hey! Hey, of course,

our pool with full-service cabanas and swim-up bar.

Yeah, yeah, I see you!

We're also the premiere bachelorette party destination.

It says SPF 40.

But it's more like SPF 69.

I just had three moles removed, so...

Georgia O'Keefe's great-granddaughter, Amber,

is getting married next weekend.

Amber, I am so happy for you.

No, I just-- Seriously? You deserve it.

Second time is the charm.

This is pretty wild.

Oh, hey! The stripper's here!

You gonna lose that suit or what?