The Rockford Files

Look, officer, you better get down here before this guy kills somebody.

My banking representatives will be by at 5 to cancel out the debt.

Oh, I guess they travel in pairs, because that way they have 20 fingers and 20 toes.

Mind if I drive your car?

No.

No, of course not, Mr. Rockford.

Hey, you're a majimbo like I told you.

I'm not the kind of guy you can blow away with a threat, you understand that?

Well, I am.

If both of you guys are dead, I'm getting my gun, I'm gonna finish both of you.

Jimmy, this is Angel.

Listen, I got this new pad, right over by the Hollywood Springland.

Some friends are coming.

Fire your record player.

Phil, I don't know.

That ain't an answer, Manny.

Maybe we got some trouble with that PI that we hired.

He left about two pounds of rubber on a pavement on his way out of here.

He could have been on the extension in the garage.

When your cousin Floyd hired this Rockford guy, you said you could get rid of him.

I don't have to tell you, I've got 200 grand tied up in taxis in this town.

Your cousin don't want to sign the affiliates contract.

He breaks away, all the other little companies will follow.

They're going to stampede me right out of business.

That happens, Manny.

You're going to end up eating the cookie.

Come on, Phil, don't worry, I'll take care of it.

Do it.

So it don't ricochet back and hit my house.

Otherwise, we're going to fast fry more than a couple of taxi cabs.

It's a tan Firebird, license number 853-OKG.

Look, officer, you better get down here before this guy kills somebody.

Honey, you better get down here.

I got the report you sent, and I looked at the photographs, and it still doesn't look like Ralph.

The exposures aren't very good.

Okay, listen, now just wait a second, now, will you?

Hi, what's your name?

Your cat?

Uh, cat, uh, listen, about those transparencies, I was working with,

uh, with Fast Film, man, what we call our available light, and sometimes that gives

it that there, uh, muddy look, but all the rest of the stuff, the, uh, timetables, the actuarial charts...

You said you were going to meet me at the sand pedal, and I went there.

When you didn't show, I finally decided to come here.

Yeah, well, you see, we can't really talk here.

There's too many distractions here.

The phone keeps ringing off the hook.

Uh, how about if we, uh, took a ride in, uh, in your car?

Can you leave your cat locked up outside?

He stays in the closet, likes to sleep in my shoes.

He's a crazy cat.

Bogey head cat, you know that?

No.

Mind if I drive your car?

No.

No, of course not, Mr. Rockford.

Hey, hey, hey.

Jim a Jimbo, like I told you.

Nice.

To take a vacation.

Better to get home, Dad.

You had me worried there for a while, Sonny.

I figured something might have happened to you.

Cutting your trip short ten days.

I guess those Caribbean resorts is mighty expensive.

Yeah, well, how's everything going?

Did you look after everything for me?

Oh, yeah, fine.

I dropped in on your place a couple times.

Fetto Valentino.

You know, it, uh, it just can't help seeming funny to me that

a fella could go through $1,500 in just a week and a half.

I thought you figured the expenses a lot closer than that.

It's the hottest blazes in San Juan, thanks for asking.

I'm sorry, but...

Ah, God, I just can't see how you could have run out.

How did we figure it out there was 50 bucks a day for your hotel room,

and expenses are American plan, and then there was a 10-day fishing boat,

and that was, uh, 200.

Yeah, 200.

And that's, uh, counting the fishing lessons, which we figured you didn't need.

Rocky.

What?

How did it get like this?

I picked it up Tuesday at Tony's, just like you told me, and brought it here and parked it.

Oh, Sonny, look at this side.

It's all bunged up over here, too.

No note or nothing.

Somebody hit it and drove off.

Oh, well.

Damn.

Angel.

He knew where the key was.

He's probably been living here.

And he probably wrecked my car.

Well, I thought you told me Angel was going to visit him.

I thought you said he was going to spend 30 days on somebody's farm.

Yeah, that's right.

He doesn't get out for three more days.

You know, it's funny how wrong you can be about a guy.

Now, you take old Angel.

Who would ever have figured him for going down on the farm, riding horses,

milking the cow, and feeding the chickens?

Dad, it's not that kind of farm.

Mr. Rockford, this is Monica Steele.

I would appreciate it if you would call me to discuss these rates.

They seem awfully high.

Hey, gumshoe, this is Manny Arturus, remember me?

Or do you just cash the checks and put the phone on answer?

You were supposed to meet me at the cab company.

If you know what's good for you, you call me, Rockford.

Who are all these people?

James Rockford, this is Sergeant David Applegate with the traffic division of the police department.

We've had a complaint on your driving in the Bell Meadows parking lot from several citizens.

Would you please get in touch with this office as soon as possible?

The next one will probably be an old murder warrant.

Mr. Rockford, this is Pedro E.

Ramirez.

I'm Mr. Delgado's representative in Los Angeles.

He told me that you left San Juan owing the hotel casino over $600.

I understand he's given you two weeks on this debt, but I wanted to set up a time to come and speak with you.

It looks to me like we forgot to put roulette on the old tally sheet.

Just don't you start in on me, Dad, okay?

Well, you were supposed to be down there fishing, not throwing away your money.

You hard-earned money on them spinning wheels.

I was down there to relax.

I will pay them back.

You bet you will, or Mr. Pedro E.

For Executioner Ramirez is gonna roll a turf over you and plant a stone on your head.

Dad, they don't do that anymore.

They gun you down from slow-moving Chevys.

Valentino, what are you doing in here, huh?

Come here.

You've been a good cat.

And who should I say is calling?

Jim Rockford.

Mr. Arturus, there's a man claiming to be Mr. Rockford out here to see you.

Oh, yeah?

You tell that bum the next time I see him, it's gonna be a small claims court.

What's going on here?

Oh, wait a minute.

You can't go in there.

Hey, who are you?

Jim Rockford.

What are you guys, a comedy act?

I'd like to know why you keep leaving threatening messages.

On my answering machine, and just why you think you and I are going to small claims court.

Hey, I don't know who you are, mister, but as far as this Rockford stiff is concerned, there ain't no think about it.

And if he don't pay me back my $400 in cash by the 15th, I'm going to start

lugging away his TV, his refrigerator, and anything else I can get my hands on.

What $400?

What am I talking to you for?

Go on, get out of here.

Hey, hey, my name is Jim Rockford.

Here.

Here, you had ID, too.

Get lost.

Look, my name is Rockford.

I've been out of town.

I just got back.

I don't owe you any 400 bucks.

You try to take my TV and my refrigerator, I'll give you a whole new outlook on the taxi business.

Floyd, I got it.

It's a con game.

These guys are running a con game.

Yeah, Mr. A comes in here with your ID, right?

I hire him.

He skins me for a cube of hundreds and he takes a powder.

Then along you come.

Oh, Mr. B.

You say, I'm the real guy, but I've been away on vacation.

This Mr. A, he's been using my name, but I'm innocent.

What am I supposed to say?

It's okay?

I mean, mistakes happen?

Is that what I'm supposed to say?

Even though my insurance man is out there foaming at the mouth over a couple of medium-rare cabs?

Nah, it's okay.

I'm just gonna eat the 400.

Because I've been playing Jacks with a square ball all my life.

I don't know from last Tuesday.

Look, Buster, I don't owe you any 400 bucks.

And I'm not about to spend time arguing with you about it in small claims court.

Let me tell you something.

Either you or the other guy is gonna pay.

Because Floyd here hired the Rockford... Rockford Agency to do investigative work on some firebombed cabs.

Now, I knew that was a dumb move.

And I called Rockford to cancel the deal, but he don't call back.

He don't even report back.

No phone call, no nothing.

All I got is another cook taxi.

Either you pay up, you pay here now, or you get out of here.

I'm gonna put this thing right between your ears.

Hey, you're a very hostile guy, Mr. Art.

You catch on quick, huh?

Come on.

Come over here, you want it?

Well, I don't know, Rocky.

I mean, who'd want to take over my operation anyway?

I mean, you strip the whole thing down and all you got is 15 finance contracts snarling in a $200 checking account.

Well, maybe this guy don't know the kind of money buying you're in.