Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So you guys are gonna tie up the only microwave

for 20 minutes to make a frozen lasagna?

Ballsy. You ignorant loser.

First of all, it's not just a frozen lasagna,

it's a Mama Magglione's.

Second of all, it's gonna take 21 1/2 minutes.

The box says 20, but we know better than the box.

You see, this microwave is a KitchenPro Max.

- Bit of a lightweight. - It's only 1.2 kilowatts.

- Fine for popcorn. - But we're talking about

a Mama Magglione's here.

Takes a lot to get mama hot.

She's a real size-queen.

Well, that started out fun,

and here we are at our normal ending place: disgusting.

Uh-oh. Guys!

We have a major problem here.

- No garlic bread. - Okay, we need to stay calm.

Let's think.

The garlic bread needs to go in the toaster oven

with eight minutes left on the lasagna.

Maybe we could run down

to the corner store and make it in time.

That just gives us 12 minutes

to go to a place and come back.

Mama Magglione.

We have to go now!

Okay, well,

good luck with that, weirdos.

Stupid piece of crap.

Rosa, come on.

You can't break a mouse in half.

Oh, wow, you did.

Scary. You really earn your rep.

Stupid internet. The network's been down

all morning, and my girlfriend...

- Jocelyn. - Right. She's leaving town

- for two weeks. - Oh, is Jocelyn leaving town?

Where is Jocelyn going?

Dude, you forgot her name one time.

It's not a big deal. You don't have to keep

proving you remember it.

That's not what's happening here.

I'm just saying it a lot,

because she's so important to me.

- Okay, what's her last name? - Uh-oh.

- Mm-hmm. It's Pryce. - Right.

She's leaving town for two weeks.

I want to send flowers to her hotel room.

Aww, that's sweet.

I wish Amy would send me flowers.

Why is it taking Holt and this I.T. guy

so long to fix the internet?

One Police Plaza sent him an hour ago.

Huh. Why does Holt look so worried?

What are you talking about?

He looks exactly like he always does.

To you, perhaps, but I finally

learned how to read his emotions.

His lips are slightly pursed,

and he's blinking at eight-second intervals

as opposed to his normal 10.

Oh, my God.

He's having a meltdown.

"Meltdown" seems excessive.

Yeah, it's a meltdown. Mark my words.

Hey, there, Captain. Everything okay?

No, I'm having a meltdown.

Props. That was amazing.

- Thanks. It was a lot of work. - This is Sergeant Knox.

From Cyber Operations.

He's discovered the reason for our network issues.

A hacker is attempting to break into our servers.

Not all of them. Just the LACMI server.

- Well, that's good. - No, Captain Holt's nostril

- just twitched. It's bad. - It's devastating.

- Props again. - Thanks, again.

The LACMI server holds clearance-protected

information, including the names of our undercover agents.

If it's compromised, people could lose their lives.

Okay, but isn't the server secure?

Yes, but the hacker's already used an ARP

to resolve the host name with the DNS server.

Uh-huh. ARP. DNS. Totally following what you're saying.

Right now, they're trying to get root access

by connecting the OSI network to the data-link.

You know, I'm a bit of a computer nerd myself,

but could you, maybe dumb it down a bit for my friends here?

They're almost through our defenses.

If we can't stop them, they'll be inside of our server in...

19 minutes.

Mama Magglione.

*BROOKLYN NINE-NINE* Season 06 Episode 14

Episode Title: "Ticking Clocks"

Sync corrections by srjanapala

A countdown clock, green text on a black background:

we are in full-on action-movie mode.

Now all I need is my no-nonsense captain to tell me

to focus, because time is running out.

- Peralta. - Yes?

You have something in your teeth.

It's, uh, quite off-putting.

What? No. "Time is running out."

I fed you your line.

No one ever has something in their teeth in a movie.

Watch a movie, stupid Holt.

Damn it, I tried to remove the server from the chain,

but the hacker blocked the protocol.

Why don't you just unplug it?

That's what I do any time I'm having computer trouble.

And also I code a lot. Java, mainframe.

This guy knows what I'm talking about.

The NYPD servers have internal backup batteries.

Even if we unplug them, they'll stay on for another two hours.

As a captain, I have an override code I can use

to wipe the servers clean so there'd be no information

for the hackers to steal, but there's one problem, Jake.

- Yes, sir? - You still have something

in your teeth. You tried to get rid of it,

but it's made it much more prominent.

Why would you stop everything just to tell me that?

It's very distracting. Anyway, I can't use

my override code, because doing so would delete

the entire evidence tracking database.

The NYPD only backs up that information

at the precinct level twice a year.

We would lose four months of evidence.

So what you're saying is that every perp

awaiting trial would walk free?

Exactly, and we have hundreds of open cases.

Wiping the servers is not an option.

The only solution is to track down the hacker.

How? It could be anywhere in the world...

Osaka, Berlin, Macau, Stockholm.

Are you guys just gonna keep letting me list cities

- I've lived in? - Wait, the LACMI server

isn't wired to the internet. It's supposed to be offline.

How are they accessing it?

They must be going through a physical AP.

Again, these guys don't get computers like you and I, so...

It's not a remote connection.

The hacker's inside the building.

Let's mobilize.

Nobody in or out of the building without authorization.

Check every inch of every floor.

- And, Jake. - Oh, let me guess.

It's on another tooth now. Is it somehow on my face?

No, what I was going to say is, we only have

15 minutes left. You need to focus,

because time is running out.

Oh, yeah.

That's what the F I'm talking about.

Thank you, sir.

What's all this?

Drunken brawl broke out between to sororities.

We're keeping the Lambda Nus up here,

and the Kappa Gamma Kappas are in holding on two.

- They're all so mean. - They're kids, Boyle.

I'm sure they're just scared.

Yeah, we're just scared kids. Can we please go home now?

I'm sorry, we have to process you, but I promise

we'll go as fast as we can.

I hope you get shot in the line of duty.

- Oh, my God. - All right.

Brush it off, Sarge, we've got an emergency.

There's a hacker in the building.

Look for anyone you don't recognize using a computer,

or plugged in to a port.

I initiated lockdown protocol.

I'll search the fourth floor. Peralta, Diaz,

start on one, work your way up.

Jeffords, take Boyle, start on three,

- work your way down. - On it.

I'll grab the keys to the first floor.

Smart.

Ames, I love you, but I can't talk right now.

I just got an alert that the Nine-Nine is on lockdown.

- I'm on my way. - Wait, aren't you at the dentist?

Yeah, I left. It's fine. It's a new hygienist,

and to be honest, her scraping technique was a joke.

We have 14 minutes to find a hacker.

You're not gonna get back in time.

But everybody else is there, right?

I mean, it seems weird to have this big thing

- happen without me. - We talked about this, Amy.

You have an unhealthy fear of missing out on work.

- You have FOMOW. - This isn't FOMOW.

It's not like I'm freaking out or anything.

Out of my way, you old bitch! This cab is mine.

I'll be there in 10 minutes. I love you.

Don't solve it without me.

I got the keys. Let's go.

- Jocelyn. - Jocelyn Pryce, hey.

What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the airport?

Yeah, uh, I wanted to stop and see you on the way there.

- I think we need to talk. - Why? Is something wrong?

I should've done this last night, but I chickened out.

We need to break up.

Ugh. Mama Magglione.

You want to break up?