Verliefd op Ibiza (Loving Ibiza) (Verliefd op Ibiza)

When are you leaving? -Tomorrow.

Not without a farewell party, I hope?

You're good.

I'm looking for someone to organize a birthday party...

...for a celebrity's girlfriend.

Celebrities? Can't stand them.

A footballer. Nice guy. -There are nice guys everywhere.

We're here!

Boyd, look.

He's here. -We're going to be famous.

It's Armin van Buuren.

Hey, we're DJs too!

Let's give him a CD.

Hey, I don't want to end up in jail again.

Come on, Lars. -Watch out.

What the hell did you buy?

Your grandson is eight.

Hey, that's our suitcase.

Look at them.

Get off, guys.

Honey, don't be mad...

...but they've sent the whole collection through to Dubai.

It's not my fault. -Has any trend ever started in Dubai?

I'll call this afternoon. -Trends start on Ibiza.

Listen honey, I'll take care of it.

Just take a few days vacation.

I'm not here on vacation. I'm here to promote my bikinis.

Can you smell it? -Strong isn't it, the kerosene.

The smell of testosterone. The perfume of Ibiza.

How about a date, baby? I'll pay, in kind. -You could be his babysitter.

I don't care I could be his granny. We're here to get laid.

The last time I had sex was when I played Scrabble. Double word value.

I brought ten books. While you're sleeping off your hangover...

...I'll be lounging on the beach with Doctor Zhivago.

Let's see if we can play doctors first.

Real Madrid paid for all of this?

Yes, this is our best house yet. Except for this, of course.

This is awful. -What's wrong with it?

My shoes won't even fit in here. It needs to be three times as big.

And Kevin is OK with that? -Dear May, one smile is enough.

Hey, baby. -You see it's not too big?

Only the best for my girl.

The walk-in closet is too small though. Shall we make it a big bigger?

No problem, babe.

What does my Kevin have in store for my birthday?

I've no idea. -What?

That's what I'm paying this lady Minique for.

Dude.

Lizzy, could you get me a can of pineapple?

Quick Lizzie.

Hey sis!

Wow, you look sexy. And so grown-up. -I am. I'm 21, remember?

Twenty-one?

It was my birthday two months ago. -Really?

Are you turning into daddy?

Guys, welcome to grandpa party animal.

I'm sure there's a pool. -That way.

Dad, can I go in like this or do I need swimming shorts?

There's no water in it.

Hi, darling.

You look gorgeous. -Thanks. I brought presents.

Your own design? -That's right.

I love it. -Treat it carefully.

The rest is somewhere in the Sahara.

Hey guys, come here!

Sis, get the glasses.

Easy, dad. I have a headache. My bikini collection is...

A gentle hug then. Hi sweetie. -Hi, dad.

Shall I give you a hand? -That's sweet.

So, how is Pim?

Busy. Two young kids. Ambitious wife.

So you really need a break.

Yes, you could say that.

Then you've come to the right place. On Ibiza, anything goes.

I lost my virginity here at 14.

Nice, grandad.

What shall we give him for his birthday?

You probably have something in mind.

There's a Perry Como album on eBay from his birth year. Isn't it perfect?

The last thing dad wants is to be reminded of his birth year.

She's right.

Any other suggestions?

Why don't we just party for a few days and celebrate in Lizzy's bar?

You still work there?

You could do so much more than that. Come on, you're hitting thirty.

Twenty-six, Zara.

Do you have a boyfriend, or do you still have quickies with your colleagues?

Well, her colleagues are really hot.

We're expecting a new batch soon. -Stop it, that's disgusting.

So what do you do for fun then?

Pim doesn't look like he gets dragged out to the back very often.

Well say, Pim and I have a great sex life. -Really?

Must be difficult, if you're always wearing the pants.

You should try keeping them on a bit more often.

Girls, this is so much fun.

Let's forget about my birthday and go with the flow.

Jasper!

Pim, pay attention! Do I have to do everything?

What's up, hon? -Our sister's right, I'm getting too old.

Too old for what?

For running around the beach club.

For everything, really.

You must always take footballers to the best places and restaurants.

You always book a VIP table and never ask for the price. Easy peasy.

Watch out for their girlfriends. They're often jealous.

Look into the lens.

Oh my God.

Take your shirt off. Come on.

Off with it.

Gorgeous, right? -Horrific.

Looking good, guys.

Not with that stupid ball. -The ball stays.

Very nice. Look sexy.

I'll introduce you in a moment.

Hi, Kevin Hoogland. -Lizzie.

Do you have any experience? -Yes, I do.

I've worked with musicians all my life, and they're very demanding.

So just let me know what you want and I'll take care of it.

What can you offer me?

Gio's has been fully booked for months but I can get you a VIP table.

We were at Gio's last week.

A yacht to Formentera Island? DJ on board, feet in the sand.

The beach is for paupers.

Kevvie, can't you hire a cute guy?

Her girlfriend would just love to arrange that for you.

Yes, she's a huge fan.

Your girlfriend? -We live together. We're so in love.

And she's a fan of Kevin? -No, of you.

She voted for you loads of times on X Factor.

Do you hear that? Even dykes love me. I can call you that, right?

Sure, dyke, lesbo, lezzie, whatever you like.

My friends and I have made a list.

Honey, why don't we just leave it to Minique and Lizzy.

They're the experts.

But I want penguins at my birthday party.

They always make me laugh.

If you want penguins, I'll arrange some for you.

See, honey? Penguins to make you laugh.

Hey, gran.

Already?

Gran is nearly at the harbour, so I'll pick her up now.

You can't go now. Our tattoo designer will be here soon.

That's true.

I can pick up your grandmother.

Would you do that? -Of course.

That's sweet of you. -No problem.

She's kind of special to me.

What's her name? -Karla Hoogland.

Hey, thanks a lot. -Hey, pleasure.

'Hey, pleasure'.

'My heart goes boom', not.

Take your time. You've forgotten me, haven't you?

Wow. Hi, Lex.

How are you? -Fine. Just got in. You?

Still haven't grown up, I see?

Grandad...

How time flies. Even for a pop star.

Bye, Lex.

Have fun. -I intend to.

I'm getting rusty.

How nice, a shawl.

It's a dress.

If you keep dressing like an scoutmaster I won't stand a chance tonight.

You don't expect me to... -Put it on.

I'm not wearing this.

I can't even get into it.

Look at it.

I'm taking it off.

I look like an olympic swimmer.

But without a medal.

You look gorgeous. Let's go hunting. -I don't know.

If you don't have fun, you can always get it on with Doctor Zhivago on the beach.

But what if... -What?

What if someone of the opposite sex shows an interest in you?

Run for your life.

Darling, I was thinking...

When I get the bikinis back and we've done the photo shoot...

...shall we go camping for a few days?

Just the four of us.

Sleep under the stars, wake up on the beach.

Maybe even make out?

It's been a while.

What if we forget how to do it?

I've got the most important photo report of my career, and my bikinis are gone.

I'm trying to stay calm and relaxed. So if you don't mind...

If they don't get here, surely the magazine will want you next month?

That's the autumn edition. -Next year, then?

A 29-year-old designer might be hot, but a 34-year-old one is past her sell-by.

Sweetie, you're 31. I'm sure you'll...

Be like that.

I'm Karla. -Welcome to Ibiza.

You've put on weight.

You were much thinner on TV.

No, I'm not Elza. I'm Lizzy, their party planner.

I'm organizing Elza's birthday party.

Can't they do that themselves?

I'll take this one.

Those bikinis are really a nail in my coffin.

All that stress for a tiny piece of fabric.

What about you?