Spy Kids

Carmen, Juni, time for bed.

- Did you brush your teeth? - I already did.

- Juni, don't forget to brush-- - I am, I am.

All right, all right.

OK, warts. Uhh!

Prepare to meet your maker.

Everything OK at school?

Yeah. It's good. It's fine.

OK. Well, lights out.

Bedtime story first.

What story do you want to hear?

"The Two Spies Who Fell In Love."

Hmm. Wow.

I haven't told that one in a while.

You probably remember that better than I do.

- Want to hear a story, Juni? - I'm listening.

OK.

Once upon a time...

there was a man and a woman.

- And they were both spies. - Yes.

She from one country, he from another.

She had a very important mission assigned to her.

- He was her mission. - Correct.

Her mission was to take him out.

On a date?

No. Uh, take him--

Oh, you mean...

I shouldn't be telling you this.

- Go on. Go on. - You have to understand...

these were dark and confusing times.

An enormous amount of turmoil between countries.

Out off ear...

a new kind of soldier was created--

brilliant, brave soldiers...

whose greatest weapons were their minds.

Those men and women were spies.

They were masters of disguise.

They could sense danger a mile away...

and through their work...

wars were ended before they even started.

The only things spies were truly afraid of...

were other spies--

enemy spies.

So, sometimes, one spy's mission...

was to make the enemy disappear.

He was the assignment that changed her life...

but when the moment finally came...

to carry out her mission...

she couldn't do it.

He was different than she expected.

Sure, he was charming and intelligent...

but he was unexpectedly honorable...

and it made her realize...

how years of working with detached emotion...

had taken its toll.

So they kept contact...

through lunch dates-- very discreet.

After all, they were on different sides...

so they could never be seen together.

Dinner dates followed...

wherever their mutual travels took them.

And they fell in love...

and they decided that, together...

they would embark...

on the most dangerous mission of all time.

What?

They decided to marry.

Wow.

Oh, yes. On her wedding day...

she felt like she would rather brave...

a thousand deadly missions...

than go through with what she was about to attempt.

Why is that?

Well, marriage is a mission so complex...

that only the most courageous and slightly insane need apply.

There's such an amazing series of obstacles...

one has to navigate to keep a marriage together--

much less family--

that it frightened even her...

a hardened and experienced secret agent.

But when she saw him...

standing there with no doubt whatsoever...

so assured of his decision...

so enamored with what they were about to do...

she took his hand...

looked deep into his eyes...

and said the two most dangerous...

most trusting words you can say to anyone.

What?

She said, "I do. "

Oh, that's so cool.

Yeah. Then the problems started.

Now, there was always some faction...

that wanted at least one of them gone.

On their own, each agent was notorious...

but together, they made tempting targets.

So, they retired...

settled down...

had a few kids.

In a way, they exchanged...

one life of adventure for another...

trading espionage for parenthood--

a mysterious and compelling mission in its own right.

And they're better off. The end.

No "happily ever after"?

I said they were better off.

Great story, Mom, but it needs a new ending.

It needs monsters.

Is that right?

Do you want me to look at your--

I put the medicine on.

OK, munchkin. Good night.

What was the story tonight?

Mmm. Ours.

How many nights, I wonder...

do you send the children off to bed with nightmares?

Carmen asked for the story.

That life is over now.

We are consultants, not spies.

So I went to their school today.

Mm-hmm.

Had that meeting with the principal.

Hmm?

Carmen's been skipping school twice a month.

- Why? - I don't know.

And those school friends Juni talks about having?

Yeah. Diego somebody and Renaldo?

No such beasts.

It turns out, the other kids pick on him.

He has no friends.

It doesn't help that he has his head in the clouds...

making these weird drawings...

and burying himself into that demented kids show.

They're keeping secrets from us, Gregorio...

and I think it's our fault.

They've gotten this from us.

We have good reason to keep secrets.

If we told them we were spies...

they'd have visions of danger every time we leave the house.

Speaking of secrets...

what are you working on over here?

Oh, nothing important.

It's just...

Why do we have to do this every morning?

We already have P.E. at school.

Uhh.

You gonna hang there all day, scaredy cat?

Told you not to look down.

I can't help it. I'm slipping.

It's your butterfingers that are slipping.

Uhh ! Hurry up!

I can--uhh !

- Uhh ! - Whoa ! Uhh !

You just fell a thousand feet. You're a pancake.

- Am not. - Are too.

Don't trip getting up, pancake.

Butterfingers.

We'll see about that.

Donnagon?

Yeah. He's missing.

Is this what you were hiding last night?

I didn't want to worry you.

We now return to...

Juni, why do you watch that show?

Because it's cool. Why?

Because that's all you ever do.

Play its video games and watch the tapes.

Do you know why, son?

So, always remember, whatever you do...

believe in yourself.

Your dreams will come true...

for you and you and you.

What's this, a self-portrait?

"What's this, a self-portrait?"

- Mom, he's mimicking me! - "Mom, he's mimicking me!"

Carmen, leave your brother alone.

Juni, stop talking like your sister.

- Stop it. - "Stop it."

- Look at this. It's hideous. - Well, talk to him.

It's a Fooglie idea.

I designed it myself.

Today we're very excited, because today...

we have a new character!

We found him snooping around the castle last night.

I want you all to meet Donnamight.

Dad, when Floop makes a toy out of that one...

I want it!

[Speaking in alien tongue]

- Honey! -

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Juni. Juni. Hey.

Anybody gives you a hard time in there...

remember, you are a Cortez.

What's so special about being a Cortez?

Lots of things.

Hey, it's the mummy.

Nice-looking bandages, mummy.

Just stop it, man.

When I'm talking to you, you listen.

Ay yi... yi... yi.