Swing Your Lady

Bring in the bags.

Sure.

Howdy.

How are ya?

You got a couple of rooms there, four of us.

Yes, sir.

Two right in front, joinin' each other.

Rope and case of fire, bed with regular springs, every convenience.

Bathroom's right at the end of the hall.

Here's the register.

Help yourself.

Thank you.

How much are they?

They'll be two dollars a room.

That's European, without meals.

What's the matter?

Don't the Europeans eat?

Any mail for me?

I'm Ed Hatch.

Nope, ain't seen none.

Well, you must have a letter from New York.

Maybe you sent it back.

Nope, ain't been no mail in over a week.

Nothin' but a Joplin paper.

I can't understand what's happened to Cookie.

I haven't heard from her in five days.

Well, once she saw the names of the towns we've been in,

maybe she thought you was kiddin'.

I did.

What are y'all, show folks?

Show folks?

My friend, you are now gazing at Joe Skopapoulos,

the great wrestler and his entourage.

I'm Mr. Skopapoulos' owner.

This is Mr. Ward, my assistant

Mr. Brunson, the trainer

and that is Joe Skopapoulos himself.

Of course, he's a whopper, ain't he?

My friend, you're putting it mildly.

Joe Skopapoulos, the ponderous pachyderm of grunt and groan.

The wrestling Hercules, is the next heavyweight champion of the world.

Say somethin', Joe.

When do we eat?

You see?

Boy!

Gee, I wish there was

Quit beefing, will ya?

I don't blame him.

We should have stayed east, like I told 'em.

Where's the percentage and wild cat and these flagstaffs?

Joe's gotta make a name for himself, don't he?

He will.

He'll make a name for bein' a jinx.

Look at us.

We've been barnstormin' for months.

We've unveiled that gorilla that walks like a man in every tank town west of Hoboken.

And where are we?

Russell City, Missouri.

With no dough and no dates.

Aw, listen, quit worryin', will ya?

I just got a hot tip from the proprietor of this joint.

He says there's a guy in the next town named Davis that runs the Trick Sport Club.

He says it's a wide-awake, up-and-coming joint.

So what?

Well, so what?

So I go over there tomorrow and I try to get a match for Joe.

Even if he's got a rustlin' overgrown rooster.

He'll probably have to.

Hey, I ain't gonna rassle no rooster.

Go ahead, Joe.

You can saw him.

Well, well, well, well, well...

Now that's mighty fine music, folks.

Very entertaining.

Which one of you gentlemen is Mr. Davis?

I'm Davis.

Well, how do you do, Mr. Davis?

How do you do?

My name is Hatch, Ed Hatch.

I know you by reputation, Mr. Davis.

Heard a lot about the fine work you've been doing here with the sports club.

I'm pleased to meet you.

Meet Mr. Davis.

How do you do, Mr. Davis?

Howdy.

And this is Oliver Biffin.

Mr. Biffin?

I heard your sport does been pretty active, Mr. Davis.

I thought maybe you boys might be interested in putting on a big-time wrestling bout.

You know, make a nice hunk of dough for yourselves.

Well, sounds like a good idea, but who are we gonna get to wrestle?

Oh, I'm gonna let you in on a good thing, Mr. Davis.

I'm touring Joe Skopapoulos, the wrestling Hercules.

Now, we can work up a match with one of your own boys.

Create local interest.

All we need's a fella with enough weight and nose holes enough to get in the ring

there and give the crowd their money's worth.

Well, I don't know of anybody around here that's fit.

Do you, Ollie?

Nope.

Well, it looks like we can't do any business.

Too bad.

We sure could use that money.

Thanks anyway, Mr. Davis.

You've got a mighty fine, wide-awake enterprising town.

Well, if you scare up anything, let me know.

I'd like to get up sometime with Farah.

Decoration day's comin' up.

So would I.

Hello Boys. I'm here.

Oh.

Hello, Cookie.

Surprise.

Where's Ed?

Out arrangin' a match.

What are you doin' here?

Well, I thought I wouldn't wait for Ed to send for me.

But I read about the tour bein' so triumphal, I thought I'd come right down without even writin'.

Look, I spent every cent I saved on my trousseau.

Trousseau.

Yeah, sure.

I got it all right here in my trunk.

Now, Ed and me can get married, and we can use the tour for our honeymoon.

You don't travel around.

Oh, my, I'm so excited, I can hardly talk.

Well, you're doin' all right.

Am I? Oh, fine.

Now, listen.

When you see Ed, don't tell him I'm here, will ya?

I wanna walk into his room, careless-like, and say, Hello, Ed.

Just like that.

Hello, Ed.

Where does the minister live?

He'll fall right over.

That's what I've been thinkin'.

Well, come on, boys.

Help me in with my things.

Come on, hurry up.

Oh, cut it out, will ya?

Hey Rufe look. Another one.

I saw it first.

I'll be derned if you did.

Hey, kids, anybody around here can give me any help?

Listen, little girl.

Hey, hey, stop that, will ya?

Leave it alone.

I've got trouble enough.

Cut it out, will ya?

Are ya stuck, mister?

Yeah, what's so funny about it?

Anybody up in that barn?

Ah, that ain't a barn.

That's a blacksmith shop.

Well, is the blacksmith up there?

Sure.

Ma!

Ma!

A fella wants ta see ya!

Ma!

Ma!

What's ya screaming fur!

Fella wants ta see ya!

You young'uns, get out of thar.

Come on, now.

The whole kit of ya.

Fellers stuck, Ma.

I know it.

Get goin'.

Get on now.

Go on.

You're in there for sure, all right.

Yeah, looks like it.

Cost y'all four-bist to get out of there.

Okay.

Where's the blacksmith?

Right here.

I'm the blacksmith, mister.

What, a lady blacksmith?

That's right.

If you need any help, I reckon I'll have to do.

I don't know nothin' about them things when it comes to doin' any tinkerin',

but I allow as how I know enough to get'm out of the mud.

Thow y'are.

Where's the four-bits, mister?

Hey.

Hey, do you want a wrassell?

What fer?

Oh, for money.

Sure.

Hey, listen, wait, wait.

I didn't mean me.

Oh, no, listen, stop.

Let me up will ya?

Say, hootie-owl.