The Guinea Pig

Attention, please.

In one minute, the 2:35 train for Basingstoke

Salisbury, Saintbury and Exeter

will be leaving from number ten platform.

Oh, come on. Come on.

For goodness' sake, hurry up with them tickets.

Alright, alright. We've got here, haven't we?

You better be quick, sir!

Mind your hand, sir, please.

Come along, sir. Hurry up.

- Now then, mind you write to us. - Course I will.

Well, goodbye, dear. See you at Christmas.

- Goodbye. - So long, son.

Good luck. You'll be alright, son.

Thanks, Dad. Bye.

- Bye, Mum. - Goodbye! Take care of yourself.

Goodbye!

Bye!

First time he's ever been away from home.

I only hope we done the right thing, mother.

I can still see him.

Goodbye!

Do you know he had the cheek to tell me to carry his bags?

- I'm not a porter. - You can't beg a chap after school…

I wonder what the new kids will be like.

Oh, the usual slimy lot, I expect.

We beat you at cricket last year.

- You a new boy? - Yeah.

Right, come on in.

My name's Fitch. I'm in charge of the new kids.

- What prep school were you at? - Hollands.

I was at Upton House.

That's a rotten place. I was at the Grange, Seaford.

Most of our chaps go to Eton or Winchester.

Which school were you at?

Me?

Middleton Road, Walthamstow.

- Where's that? - Middleton Road?

Well, it's… between the gasworks and the cemetery.

Oh.

Saintbury! Saintbury!

Saintbury!

Hello, Peck, me old scoundrel! Still got your moustache in curl, I see?

When you can grow one like this, sir, you'll have something to be proud of.

- What are you after? - My trunk.

Oh, new boy? What's your house?

- Uh, Cloisters, Mr. Hartley. - Oh.

- Is it labelled? - Don't think so.

Well, didn't your mother read the prospectus?

It says in block letters,

"Will parents please label luggage with the name of the house."

Which is it?

Uh…

Oh, them two, sir.

And don't call me "sir". I call you "sir".

I'm Peck, the school porter.

And I'll look after your luggage. Now, you push off.

Er, sir.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me.

Could you tell me please, the way to Cloisters House, Saintbury School?

Yes. I'm going up that way. I'll show you, if you like.

Oh, thanks.

Hurt your leg?

Well, no, not exactly. I'm just getting used to a new one.

Oh. Accident?

Well, no, I rather think the Jerry who shot me intended it.

Oh.

What's your name?

- Jack. Jack Read. - Ah.

- Was you in the Army? - Yes.

My dad was in the Army.

- Did 26 years' service. - Oh.

- He's in the Home Guard now. - Oh, good.

Played football for the Army, too.

- Soccer? - Yeah, inside right.

Oh, quite a chap, eh?

Yeah.

- Well, here we are. - Well, thanks for showing me and so long.

Well, as a matter of fact, I live here too.

Oh.

Well, you better go and say hello to Mr. Hartley.

Good luck.

Ta.

Come in.

I was told to come in here.

Oh, um…

Erm…

- You're Read, I suppose? - Yes, sir.

Pleased to meet you.

How do you do?

Well, erm…

This is Mrs. Hartley.

Oh.

How do you do? I hope you had a good journey.

Yes, thanks. pleased to meet you, Mrs. Hartley.

We're very pleased to meet you. We've heard a lot about you.

- Oh. - Well…

- I hope you'll be very happy here. - Thanks.

You'd, erm… You'd like some tea, wouldn't you?

Well, I wouldn't mind.

No…

Come in.

Ah, Fitch, come in.

How do you do, sir?

- Did you have good holidays? - Yes, thank you, sir.

Hello, Mrs. Hartley.

Mother asked me to give you this note. It's about my socks.

Thank you, Fitch.

Fitch, you know the ropes here. Take Read along to the dining hall.

- There's a good chap. - Yes, sir.

And show him his dormitory as well.

- It's the same as yours. B. - Very good, Mrs. Hartley.

Now, Read, you run along with Fitch

and both of you get a good meal before it all disappears.

Right. Thanks, Mrs. Hartley.

Well?

Well, indeed.

What is this school coming to?

Give the boy a chance, and come along and have your tea.

By the way, Lady Tracey wants to know if David can wear his blue shirts

with the collars attached?

- No, certainly not. - It's a question of coupons.

I will not have any boy letting down the standard, war or no war.

White collars have been the rule at Cloisters for 30 years

and it's going on being the rule.

You tell Lady Tracey with my compliments

if she can't buy any shirts with white collars,

she'd better set to and make some.

Out of what, Lloyd dear?

I don't propose to be dragged into an argument

about an obviously incompetent woman.

I'm very glad you've come here, Mr. Lorraine.

Although he won't admit it, Daddy's needed a house tutor for ages.

Thanks.

There are more boys here this term than ever before.

No, no, don't move, Mr. Lorraine.

Well, he's arrived.

- Who? - Read.

Ah, yes, Read. We walked up from town together.

- He asked me the way here. - Who's Read?

He comes from a school in Walthamstow, his father's a tobacconist.

The headmaster asked us to take him because of this Fleming Report.

Whatever's that?

Well, the Board of Education set up a committee on public schools…

To find out if we're as black as some people paint us.

Oh, and are we?

They've come to the conclusion that more boys like Read

should come to schools like Saintbury. That's right, Mr. Lorraine?

- Yes. - Thank you.

The headmaster's persuaded the governors to give him a scholarship.

It's an experiment.

What do you think of the idea? Will it work?

Ah, the Head's a very shrewd man.

I don't think he believes in it for one moment,

he just doesn't want to be labelled as a diehard reactionary.

- What's in these? - Fish paste.

I mean to say,

how are you going to mix a boy whose father's a general

with a boy whose parents keep a grocer's shop? Eh, Lorraine?

Well, boys are very malleable creatures.

They usually fit in, provided they're given a chance.

Don't you think?

Oh, yes, Daddy, you must give him a chance.

Oh, naturally, I'll give him every chance. Oh, yes. Fair's fair.

And I haven't told anyone where he comes from, not even Grimmett.

- Hampshire, your tea. - Thank you, Matron.

- Oh, Beattie, come and sit here! - Hello, Curly.

Counted over 100 Flying Fortresses, and in the daylight, too!

I say, did you see old Hartley's daughter?

- She's a smasher. - Yeah, she's in the Wrens, isn't she?

- Anyone met the new house tutor yet? - Yes, I have.

Doesn't seem a bad sort of bloke.

Had his leg shot off. Believe he's going to coach the 15.

What, with one leg?

Take the three quarters, so the old man said anyway.

He's a rugger blue. Played for Oxford.

Played for England too. Stand-off half.

Don't eat so fast, Tracey.

You made yourself quite ill last term. Remember?

Greedy guts!

Matron's not a bad old trout. Except when you're in the sick room

and then she rams filthy pills down your throat the whole day.

Pass the fish paste, will you please?

Blimey.

Where's my fag?

Is Hopkins here?

I don't think he's arrived yet, Grimmett.

Oh.

Hi, you. New boy.

Hi, you!

Yes, you.

You'll find two suitcases in the passage.

Take one to my dorm, the other to my study.

Got it?

Did you hear me?

I haven't finished my tea yet.

What's your name?

Read.

Well, get a move on, then.