King of Beggars (武狀元蘇乞兒)

Presented by: CHARLES HEUNG, JIMMY HEUNG

Producer: STEPHEN SHIU Planner: JIMMY LAW

Starring: STEPHEN CHOW, SHARLA CHEUNG

NG MAN-TAT, NORMAN TSUI, LAM WAI, WANG CHUNG, VINDY CHAN

Guest Starring: NAT CHAN, LAWRENCE CHENG, MATTHEW WONG, PETER LAI, KINGDOM YUEN

Executive Producers: SHIRLEY LAU, JESSICA LIU Production Managers: CONNIE WONG, IVY KONG

Art Director: HORACE MA Costume Designer: TONY AU

Cinematographer: DAVID CHUNG

Music: JOSEPH KOO Screenwriters: JOHN CHAN, GORDON CHAN

Action Director: YUEN CHEUNG-YAN

Director: GORDON CHAN

Young master, it's ready.

- Good job, young master. - Here's your towel, young master.

What did the young master write?

His name.

That's great!

Now, it's just me who knows that young master can write his name!

- Yes. - Fuck.

It's nice.

Let me see it!

This is nice! It reads "the flamboyant So Cha Ha Yee Chan"!

You've read it backwards, master.

"Chan Yee Ha Cha So."

Good boy, but don't be smug! Got me?

Dad, since the epoch of the Qing Dynasty,

the So Cha Ha Yee family

had been nothing but a bunch of illiterates.

But not anymore. My son, who's your grandson,

knows how to write his own name!

This is truly remarkable, Dad.

Now that he can write,

he will be a scholar one day.

Now that he can write his name,

he will be blessed with a son.

- Young master, you should practice harder. - Yes, I know.

Chan, I think we should mount it.

Sure!

Professor, put it up somewhere everyone can see.

Wait a minute, professor.

Why don't we decorate it in red and parade it around town?

Go!

Chan, sit down with me.

I'm glad to have a hardworking son like you.

Listen to me. You know I've been the black sheep of the family.

And I've used up almost my entire fortune.

And the worst part is, one day I'll die,

and you will have to fend for yourself.

I'm used to fending for myself.

Here.

Here's a check worth 100,000 taels. Spend wisely.

Sucker, hand me the imported hat.

Where are you going, Chan?

I got a birthday party tonight.

How old are you?

I'm turning 25. Don't be late!

At least, you've got to groom yourself for the occasion.

You look like a beggar!

Can a beggar be that rich? Then I want to be one!

The birthday boy is such a fathead.

Come over here.

Yes, master?

Look at my brat's invitations. Aren't they pretty?

If I'm having a birthday party, I got to do better than this!

Your Majesty, what do you think about the Cantonese Opera?

For sure, it can't compete with Beijing Opera.

But it's good to learn about it.

Tips for all.

Tips for all.

Tips for all.

Happy birthday, Mr. So.

I'm left homeless, poor, and sick.

My wife and kids have left me and I have no one to turn to.

- Do you have alms to spare? - Damn beggar, are you kidding?

You dirty bastard, how dare you seek charity here?

I'm going to beat you up...

- Tip him! - Yes, young master.

Are you kidding? How could you tip him like that?

Hey.

A beggar is just like us.

He can come as long as he can afford it.

I'll subsidize your expenses here for the month, including the hookers!

- All expenses paid? - Why not?

Sure, of course.

- Come this way. - Come with me, sir.

Mr. So!

Hello.

How are you, Madam Pimp?

That's not nice of you to call me that!

We should all be frank, right?

You want frank?

You look like a mourner with that hat on.

Did your dad die or something?

I'm glad that you talk like that!

Mr. Chiu, you helped me wipe out the Hairy Gang,

so you will receive an award from the emperor.

I'll appreciate it if you say something nice

in His Majesty's audience.

The show is over, and here are your napkins.

Here.

Mr. So is here!

Mr. So, happy birthday!

This way...

Mr. So, today is your big day, so you should be happy.

We got you some new girls just for your pleasure.

- Take a pick, gold or wood class? - What do you mean by that?

Don't you get it? Gold is just nice to look at

while wood is good to touch!

- Wood looks good, of course! - Wood looks good, of course!

Wood, you've got a guest to serve!

You are the birthday boy, Mr. So.

Tell me what kind of woman you want.

Anyone would do. They are all the same.

None of them stands out.

Mr. So, what's the matter?

She licked me.

What? Whoever did that to you, I'll pull out her tongue...

Not with her tongue, but with her eyes.

I've never seen a glance so fatally tempting.

May I know who she is?

Yu Shueng is just a substitute.

Are you interested in sleeping with her, Mr. Chiu?

You should ask His Majesty first.

How do you like it?

We're just friends, just go ahead if you want.

Help yourself, Mr. Chiu.

Why, thank you.

Service, please?

Yu Shueng, come down and greet Mr. Chiu!

Yu Shueng, he's the one who killed our dad.

I know, stay calm. Let's go.

Mr. Chiu, Yu Shueng is here.

It's my pleasure to meet you, Mr. Chiu. I'm Yu Shueng, your lady for tonight.

She's gorgeous.

Mr. Chiu, what are we going to do tonight?

One hundred thousand taels?

If Yu Shueng sleeps with our young master tonight,

you better get lost!

Hello! I'm terribly sorry about that,

but I hope you don't mind!

Excuse me. Let me be fair to everyone.

Whoever gets to offer us more than 100,000 taels

gets to sleep with Yu Shueng.

There's no need to fight over it, okay?

What a big spender you are.

MONEY

The check looks too simple to me.

I have a pearl which is granted by the royal family. It's invaluable!

I like the pearl more.

Mr. Chiu, I'll wait for you in my room.

Is the pearl worth 100,000 taels?

Don't you think it's too little?

I like money too, but I don't like you.

She's frank. I really like that!

But Mr. So...

Never mind.

I guess Yu Shueng doesn't like me

because my hat doesn't match my hair, and I deserved that!

Good to know, sir!

Relax, there are more pretty girls you could choose from.

So madam, I'm counting on you tonight!

I didn't do this!

How dare you!

A Mantis Fist? Not bad.

Music!

Hold it!

Crane's Beak, Tiger Claws!

Your Mantis Fist is no match to my Tiger-Crane combo.

I know that combo as much as you do!

Then how about a taste of my Mantis?

Bravo!

Your Tiger-Crane combo is defeated.

That's not Tiger-Crane.

It's a Peacock Spread.

That's why it's so weak!

That was fast.

You look pretty tough.

Kid, you don't know how the wind blows.

The General of Canton's here!

Make way!

I'll shoot down whoever picks on my son!

- Master. - Master.

Now, Chan. Who picked on you?

No, I picked on someone.

What? You picked on someone?

What has he got that you would pick on him?

Sir, they picked on him.

- Who the hell are you? - Just take a look at this.

The Iron-Capped Prince?

It's a gift! Hey, Chan.

They brought you a gift, so stop picking on them.

- Come on, give these girls some tips. - But, master,

look what's inscribed on it. "Iron Cap Prince, Sengge Rinchen."

How dare you seize His Majesty's medal?

- Arrest him! - Hold on! According to Qing law,

an imperial courtier is forbidden from engaging with courtesans!

Now, here you are in a brothel.

So you're the one breaking the law!

Then what about you?

- Who, me? - Yes, you!

That's right, I'm here to...