Father Brown

BICYCLE BELL RINGS

Morning!

Morning.

PEOPLE CHUCKLE

Ooh, Father, tomorrow it's the Hambleston Church bingo.

Care to join us for a flutter?

Always happy to support a good cause, Bunty.

Don't know why I bother. I've never won a thing in all my life.

You're a luckier woman than I ever was, Bridget McCarthy.

Oh, my God.

SECATEURS CLATTER

Is it you?

Hello, sis.

It's small.

But nice.

A sister, Mrs M?

I must have mentioned her surely.

We had a falling out, over her choice of men.

When was this?

Um...

Fifteen years ago.

So...

So...

My lovely husband Archie did indeed turn out to be a liar

an adulterer and a criminal

and now he's in prison.

Oh, Roisin.

I'm very sorry to hear that.

I truly am.

I knew the truth about him years ago.

But I decided to pretend everything was fine.

Mainly because I couldn't bear my big sister being right...

Again.

Well...

it's not as if I'm in a position to crow

given my experience with husbands.

Well, you'll have to tell us all about

Mrs M's childhood! - Oh...

Has she told you about the time she pulled down the shorts

of the boy next door because he took her apple?

I don't believe she has, no.

Did you really do that? - Oh, Penelope, please.

You don't mind if I stay for a bit, Bridget?

Just while I get myself back on my feet.

No. No, of course not.

Wonderful.

Oh, and I want you to meet a friend of mine.

I didn't know you had friends in Kembleford?

I do now.

I wouldn't say you were peas in a pod, Mrs McCarthy.

Honestly, Roisin, only you could make a new friend outside a railway station.

I'm telling you, we got on like a house on fire.

He keeps horses, and he sounds awfully well travelled.

You Say "hen?

I'd really want your opinion of him, Bridget.

I don't trust my judgment in men any more.

All the more reason to steer clear of them for a while.

Oh please, Bridget!

Well, I'll stay for a cup of tea, but that's it.

Thank you.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Bingo for 700 quid?

I'm not in Ireland now, am I?

Are you sure about this address?

I know this place like the back of my hand, never heard of "Devlin Manor".

Trafalgar!

It-S n] Q!

Rinkini.

What does that mean?

Beautiful. - ROISIN GIGGLES

Oh for heaven's sake.

And you, lady, are...

Baxhtalo.

I beg your pardon?

It means lucky.

Lucky's the very last thing I feel just now.

May w - on...

Fascinating!

What does it say?

That a very charming man is going to enter your life.

Oh really? - Mm...

He knows the mysteries of life and...

he speaks the language of love.

I'd say he was a real catch.

We're leaving. - What?

I've had my cup of tea as promised.

Tomorrow night's bingo.

The five Jackpot Line numbers.

Can you tell us what they will be?

Of course. May I?

Wow...

Well these are...

well they're, they're very clear.

HORSE WHINNIES

Go on!

The five winning numbers will be...

six... Six.

Eleven... Eleven.

Twenty-three... - Twenty-three.

Sixty-five . .. - Sixty-five.

Eighty-seven. - Eighty-seven.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much.

That £700 is ours!

And he didn't charge us a penny!

Oh, and I wonder why that would be.

Oh, Bridget. You hardly gave him a chance.

The man is a charlatan, Roisin.

And did you see his...

his, his bedroom?

It was like some...Harem.

What's a Harem?

Anyway, you asked for my opinion.

More fool me.

I think he's lovely and sweet.

And he may well turn out to be a genius. - Oh!

SHE GIGGLES

Thanks to our fund raising efforts

the Hambleston Church roof repairs are already underway.

Well if I were to win the jackpot tomorrow

I'd give half the winnings straight back to you.

You mean that, don't you?

I most certainly do.

You have worked so hard and it's a wonderful cause.

Six... eleven... six... eleven...

Oh. Hello!

This is my sister, Roisin.

Ah. You'll be joining us I hope?

Oh, certainly will. We're going to win the jackpot!

That's the spirit.

We've had divine inspiration...

We've had nothing of the sort.

Pay her no heed.

We'll see you tomorrow night, Samuel, and I'll be sure to put these

around the church and the village hall.

Yes, of course. Afternoon ladies.

These numbers came from a soothsayer.

And divination, as you well know, is a sin!

Weren't the prophets in the bible "soothsayers"?

They spoke the Words of God.

These numbers are...

are the Devil's work.

The Devil?

NO. Stop!

What is wrong with you?

I need cash! Quickly!

If there's any chance these numbers are lucky

I'm going to take it.

Archie had debts. I went to a loan shark.

They want the money back in a week.

A week?

Holy Mother.

Is that why you're here? To get money?

No, Bridget. I'm here because I'm terrified and I wanted to be near someone I can trust.

I would spend it on a Triumph Roadster.

What about you, Goodfellow?

I expect Mrs Goodfellow would quite like a Baby Belling cooker, sir.

Ha. You could have one in every room if you win this.

Tea? - Yes, I'd love one thank you.

And cake. Tea and cake.

Right, what have we got here, then?

Thank you. - INDISTINCT CHATTER

Anna.

Father.

Good evening, Anna.

Good evening, Peter.

If you win, you'll leave me!

That's what they're saying!

I'm not going to leave you, Peter.

It's not true!

Don't trust her! You can't trust her!

You can't trust her...

Anna...

Hearing voices all the time must be so terrifying.

And he was such a gentle man when she married him.

So pleased you could make it.

Three please Samuel.

Wonderful. There you are.

Three for me too, please.

Thank you. - Thank you.

Three for you too, Mrs McCarthy?

Yes please, Samuel.

Thank you.

Best of luck.

Yes. Yes, thank you.

I've got our drinks.

Middle line.

Mother of Mary!

The wings of an angel, number 77.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Two rather plump ladies, 88.

The animals went in two by two... number two.

One for Father Brown, the holy trinity, number three.

Two little ducks, 22.

Oh!

And now ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for.

The jackpot line.

I shall draw just five numbers

and if they complete a line on your card

the giant jackpot of £730 will be yours. Woo!