Pete's Christmas

* Da-dum dum dum dum dum dum dum *

* Da-dum dum dum dum dum dum dum *

There's still time

To get your picture taken with Santa Claus

Just in time for Christmas.

Subtitle Improved by 'Shreyashjit'

Ho ho ho ho!

Gang, it's Christmas Eve.

Let's just squeeze in one more practice.

Mom, again?

Yes, again.

Okay, from the top.

* Deck the halls with boughs of holly *

* Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la *

* 'Tis the season to be jolly *

* Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la *

* Pete, I don't hear you singing *

* 'Cause I'm not really singing, and neither is Jake *

* You're displaying classic sibling rivalry *

You're being a classic dork.

Just finish the song...

* So I can go meet my friends *

Come on, people, we're losing focus here.

* Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-later *

Well, as much as I hate to be the one to break up the party,

I have a sick parakeet to attend to.

I have to zoom into work.

Zoom? No more tickets like last week, please, honey.

Honey, those people were driving too slow.

Besides, how else would we have met the Gundersons?

I'm just sorry you have to work Christmas Eve, that's all.

I know.

But tomorrow, I'm all yours.

These extra hours are just temporary,

Just until I find a new job.

Hey, you know what the silver lining is?

I have all this extra time, I can organize.

I've already organized the DVDs by color this time.

Color? Color Purple,

Purple Rose of Cairo, Purple Rain, Pur...

What are you doing?

Adding "organize DVDs" to my to-do list.

Hey, everything's gonna be fine,

Just as long as life doesn't throw us any more curveballs.

I'll get it. Ho ho ho!

Why are you wasting electricity with an electric Santa?

Dad?

Grab my bag. I got a hernia.

Uh...

Would I be allowed in?

Yeah, yeah, come on in.

It's great. Honey!

What is he doing here?

I didn't know he was coming.

He never comes for Christmas.

Okay, put him in Kenny's room,

And Kenny can sleep with Pete.

He's not sleeping with me. He wets the bed.

Nonsense. He's fine

As long as he doesn't drink anything.

[Sipping through straw]

Ahh!

Hey, bunkmate.

Nothing stops the Red Liner Express

From its 7:35 AM departure.

You kept me up till 2 AM snoring.

Adenoids are a serious condition.

Well, at least you didn't...

Oh, man, you wet the bed.

I believe you're engaging

In what's commonly known as projection,

And I would submit that that pee is, in fact, yours.

Are you kidding me?

Ow!

Oh, you still stink at football!

I hate to break it to you guys,

But last night, I ate most of the pancake mix,

So I hope you guys like stale toast,

'Cause I'm getting there first.

It's Christmas morning.

"Early bird gets the worm" in Latin.

* Shake your wrist and Ho ho ho ho!

* Make your list

* It's Christmastime again *

Good morning, sunshine.

Go get Grandpa and we'll open presents.

And put on something nice.

It's Christmas.

Hey, Grandpa, Mom wants us all downstairs.

You don't know what knocking is?

What do you got to say for yourself?

Don't shoot the messenger?

Did you get this tree right out of a box?

It has sentimental value, you know?

You are a softie, Pamela, just like my kid.

Thank you.

That's not a compliment.

Okay, then.

Jake, you go first.

Yeah.

Shocking.

Let's see what we got here.

"To Jake, from Santa."

Over here, over here!

No, wait, wait.

Get my good side.

Wait. Never mind.

They're both my good side.

Just get in one more?

Little to the left. There.

I realize star athletes

Are known for their victory dances,

But must you do them for everything?

My crumpets are ready.

Really? Okay, who's next?

Me, me, me!

Okay, go, go!

Delightful. A telescope?

And good timing.

That's what I wanted.

Cassiopeia should be in fine form this week.

Hey, Mom, can I eat all the crumpets?

I want crumpets!

Better be another telescope under there.

Uh, hey, I don't see my name tag.

Hey, you're gonna love it, okay?

Santa got you something great this year.

What?

Right, honey?

What... Why are you looking at me?

You... You were supposed to talk to Santa.

Uh, no, no. I specifically remembered

Asking you to speak to Santa when you...

No. Yes.

No, no, no. You didn't. You were telling...

Santa forgot my Christmas gift?

No, no, no. No, no.

Look, you're just tricky

To buy gifts for, that's all.

You've tried karate, trumpet, tennis, painting, guitar.

It's hard to keep up with what you want sometimes.

Oh, Pete, Pete, we're so sorry.

We're sorry, buddy.

We're so sorry.

We're gonna fix this as soon as possible.

Hold on a second.

Dr. Kidder.

[Woman speaking indistinctly]

Are her feathers intact?

Well, you know...

* Ho ho

Ah, wait!

Do not plug in anything when the tree's on.

The circuits are already overloaded, okay?

Hon, I'm gonna start the beef Wellington.

Wellington? Wow, that sounds ambitious.

Apparently, all you do

Is coat a beef tenderloin in pâté,

Wrap it in crepe to keep it moist,

Roll it in puff pastry, and cook.

Easy-peasy.

No. I'm just thinking it might be easier this year

To do something simple like do a turkey?

Okay, just because I have to work today

Doesn't mean I am not gonna try to make this Christmas special.

Okay.

This tree looks kind of bare

Without the star on the top.

I just didn't get the...

Your Grandma used to put our happiest photos

On this Christmas star decoration she made, and, uh...

I would sit there looking up at the tree on Christmas morning.

Yeah, that was the most wonderful thing

About Christmas morning.

Yeah.

Then somebody broke it.

Hmm.

Be right back.

Pete, it's the last one, so "Merry Christmas."

Thanks.

Yeah, it fell in the toilet.

No present.

It's officially the worst Christmas ever.

Pete.

Look, uh, I'm sorry.

I'll make this right.

Dad, I wanted the telescope.

Dad, it's perfect.

The Leonid meteor shower's next week,

And there's an eclipse next month

At 43 degrees ascendancy in the western sky.

Wow. You sure know your eclipses.

You know something? There's a book

I think you might want to have a look at here.

Hey, Crazy Legs Kenny, want to play catch?

Sure. Let me get my coat.

All right, buddy.

What about me?

Yeah, no, no.

Okay, buddy, today I'm gonna teach you how to spiral, okay?