Marvel's Hit-Monkey

Go! Go! Go! Go, go, go, go, go!

What was that? Down! Get down!

Move! Move! He's coming!

What the hell was that?

Get me out of here!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Protect me, you idiot.

In the fire escape. Do you see it?

- Get down... - (BOSS SCREAMS)

Look out! On the roof!

- (GROWLING) Ah!

Ah!

Whoever you are, we can make a deal.

Don't, don't, don't...

WOMAN (OVER PA SYSTEM): Welcome to Tokyo Narita Airport.

Yeah. Hey.

WOMAN (OVER PA SYSTEM): Narita Air will soon be departing

to Shinjuku at three p.m.

Next.

Hmm.

Hey.

Business or pleasure?

Oh, that's a great question.

And when you love what you do, it's such a hard one to answer really.

But gun to head, I'd have to say pleasure.

But it ain't the holidays without a fistfight, right?

Anywho, that's why my father left, so...

I often think, Bryce,

what would your life have been like

- if you'd had a more stable upbringing? - (DRIVER SIGHS)

You ever have those thoughts?

Yeah? No?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you seem like you come from a good home.

Oh, are we here?

All right, uh, cool.

Hey, are you gonna be out here when I get back?

'Cause I gotta be honest with you,

I'm really enjoying the conversation we're having.

Just the back and forth is incredible so...

It's like I know I don't know you, obviously, but I feel like

I know you, you know.

Let's do it again sometime!

Five stars.

Mr. Schouler?

No, ma'am. Uh, wait, are we using real names or fake names?

I don't know. What's your name?

Uh, I'm Bryce,

and I'm here to kill someone for a bunch of money, you know.

I was told to come to this address to pick up a few things, you know,

guns, bullets, bigger guns, bigger bullets.

- (CHUCKLES) - Okay.

And I guess we're walking.

Sorry, about that, I-I'm just trying to go

with a total honesty policy, you know.

It's, it's part of this program I'm in.

I can't really talk about it, though. It's, uh, it's anonymous.

You were referred by Mr. Salk.

He was very pleased with your work.

He said you were to be trusted.

That you're the best.

Get outta here. Old Salky said that?

Oh, that's so funny, 'cause on the outside, I'm sure you know this,

he's this creepy, murderous, criminal kingpin.

But, ah, I love a secondhand compliment. Thank you. That's very sweet of you.

Everything's just as you ordered.

Wow. I love what you've not done with the place.

When the job is complete,

your extraction point is Fukuyama Municipal Airport,

one hour south by train.

There you receive rest of your fee.

Yikes.

You know, you really should get that checked out.

- It's fine. (COUGHING) - Okay.

Yeah, I mean, it's just I have a big day tomorrow,

and I hate working sick.

Let me say this,

you guys really know how to do customer service.

And the whole no tipping thing? Just amazing. (CHUCKLES)

So, hey, you want to hang out for a little bit?

Maybe we can watch some TV if you want.

You know, I could order a porno

- or Love Actually or... - (DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

Never mind. Okay.

Out they go. Wonderful. Nice job, Bryce, you dipshit.

Ho ho! Woo!

Hey, you're, you're all laughing, but it's true.

I kill people for money.

Hey, hey. Hey, look. I could kill your buddy right here.

You got the dough, I'll make 'em go.

Woo-hoo! Yeah, I'm on a hot streak.

Hey, who wants to bet a kidney?

Woo!

Yeah! Dance like nobody's watching.

Hell with that. I'm gonna dance like everybody's watching.

Look at me! (GRUNTS)

(JAPANESE RAP MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES)

Ohayo gozaimas.

What up?

Hey, guys, keep up the good work.

Tell me, you really want to attack the military

and the Royal family in the same speech?

Go big or go home.

Ohayo gozaimas, uncle.

Akiko, you're late.

Yo, what's up, Japan's only hope?

Stop it. I am a humble public servant,

and I haven't won anything yet.

And he never will apparently.

Who put in this part about a 20 percent tax increase on corporations?

I did.

Remind me again why I made you his speechwriter.

Because I'm awesome, and my opinions are exciting and bold

and deep down inside they thrill you,

even if they also worry you a little bit.

- Is that ringing a bell? - Not a one.

Ah, you're not really upset, are you?

You've been breaking my balls for 30 years.

- Why should it stop now? - (KEN LAUGHS)

There's not enough spotters on that roof.

And those barricades are set too close to the stage.

What do you think?

I think I hate working political rallies.

And demonstrations. Oh, and rock concerts.

I'm going to call it in.

Should we find a better position?

What are you trying to do, win "Cop of the Year"?

With you as my partner?

I don't ever have to worry about that.

Gentlemen, good morning.

- (CROWD CHEERING) Thank you.

Thank you all.

You're here because you want change!

You want to say "no more"

to the old system and the corrupt masters it serves!

No more!

To an economy that only works for the one percent!

Why can't I remember my password? Wait, is it ASS...

ASSMAN? No.

Oh. ASSASSINOW.

Oh, it's times like this I wish I had a catch phrase.

Now is the time!

- Gun! Twelfth floor.

No, fifteenth!

Oh! Now that's a lot of stairs.

Probably why Oswald only went to the sixth floor.

Let's go! We can be the first ones on scene.

Out of the way! Police!

Ohh!

I got this and you call for backup!

No! No, no. Wait. Hiroshi!

Ken!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Oh God! Oh God!

Oh. Okay...

Oh, you gotta be shitting me.

Oh God! No!

Hiroshi.

Hiroshi.

Ahh! - (BRYCE GRUNTS)

What the...

Ah, you must be Schouler.

Jesus Christ, do you guys ever talk to each other?

Sure, yeah, no, I'm Schouler, AKA the guy you asshats hired.

The guy you're supposed to put on that plane!