Good Luck Charlie

Gabe, be totally honest.

For a pregnant woman,

I'm really smoking, aren't I?

Ba-bam!

Yeah. I think silence is my best option here.

Okay. Well, I'm off to yoga.

Oh hey, before you go...

This silly old thing.

Can I get a quick signature for this thing for school?

A school thing? Oh.

I Hope this isn't another

Oh, look at that. Yes, that's interesting.

It's gotten to the point where "dear Mrs. duncan" is a stamp.

You released a bag of crickets in the library?

- Why? - Crickets are noisy.

The library is quiet.

You try things.

Let's see. I could try things like grounding you,

- cutting your allowance... - Wow, mom,

now that I'm getting a better look at you,

you are smoking.

- You really think so? - Yeah.

Forget it, mister. You've gone too far this time.

Your father and I will discuss your punishment later.

All right, fine,

but you still have to sign this.

Wish I had a stamp.

I'm so glad we're back together.

I know. Me too.

You know, I feel like when we're happy,

- the whole world is happy. - Right.

- Guess again. - Oh hey!

Wouldn't it be fun cute couple nicknamese.

Where we combine our two names?

- Like brangelina. - Yeah yeah yeah.

Right, okay. So...

Spencer and Teddy.

Oh, we could be "spendy"! Do you like spendy?

I'd like for spendy to hit me over the head with a club.

Well, I gotta go...

- Basketball practice. - All right.

See ya later, spendy.

I like it.

Ivy, why are people giving me dirty looks?

Hmm, it could be anything really...

Your pants, your shirt,

the fact that you're a jinx, your hair.

Wait. Whoa whoa. Okay, go... go back.

I'm a jinx? Why would people think that?

Well, ever since back together, r got.

The basketball team hasn't won a game.

But that's ridiculous. Ivy, come on.

- You don't think. - Wel i , don't, o you?

But the basketball team does,

the coach does, the janitor... rse,

I am not a jinx!

If anything, I'm good luck.

Sorry.

Hey, looking good, Charlie.

I know, daddy.

Yeah, you are your mother's daughter, all right.

Oh, I'm next! I'll take the race car.

Hey, P.J., P.J.

Manager asked me to talk to you.

- About what? - Come here.

He seems to think you're a little old to sit in the race car.

All right. I'll sit on the elephant,

but my engine noises won't make any sense.

Hey.

You're old enough to vote.

You're old enough to go to a real barbershop.

But real barbershops don't give out stickers and lollipops.

Maybe you can hold off on the voting for a little while.

Hey, you know what? I'll take you to where I get my hair cut.

Uh, no thanks.

You're 18.

Time to leave the orange balloon and grow up.

Oh, great, rub it in my face.

Can you believe what Gabe did?

No, I can't.

I mean, everybody knows when you transport crickets.

You don't use a bag, you use a lightly-ventilated box.

Focus! Bob, we have to punish him.

Man, he's been a handful lately.

I know.

Well, at least we don't have it as bad as my friend Pam.

She's one of the pregnant gals in my yoga class.

She has a son Gabe's age who's so out of control.

They're sending him to military school.

Military school?

It's the only way, Bob. You can't have.

A troublemaker like him around with a new baby on the way.

Still, I mean, isn't that kinda harsh for a kid Gabe's age?

What he needs is discipline,

and that's what a school like Graystone academy can give him.

Yeah, I guess. Hey, does he know it's happening?

No, the trick is not to tell him.

Then one day you say, "hey, buddy, get in the car.

We're going for ice cream. " Then off you go to military school.

- Wow. I don't know if I... - It's done, Bob.

And what do you care? It's not like him leaving.

Is gonna affect your life one way or the other.

Yeah, that's true.

Excuse me, quick question:

Do you give out prizes with your haircuts?

Yeah, if I Nick you, you get a free bandage.

That's a joke, right?

Okay.

Wow, I've really got to cut down on the coffee.

You know,

I'm actually thinking about letting it grow out anyways.

- Syd! - Hi.

- Hey. - Have a seat.

Well, since I'm here.

- What's your name? - I'm P.J.

So what kind of cut would you like today?

Uh, well,

normally I go for the handsome prince,

but today I'm thinking about changing to the sporty rascal.

Well, P.J., I think it's time we gave you more of an adult look.

How about we go...

Shorter on the sides.

And then we can layer it on top?

Okay.

Or we could go shorter on top.

And then leave it fuller in the back.

Whatever takesthe longest.

Come on, let's get you shampooed.

We're gonna get me shampooed.

Okay, don't sugarcoat it.

Does everyone think that I'm a jinx?

Yes.

Boy, no sugar there.

Teddy, I'm sorry, all right? It's one of those,

- you know, sports superstition things. - But it's so stupid.

Yeah, I know, but everyone believes it.

Well, then we'll just have to convince them that I'm not a jinx.

- How do we do that? - You could play better.

That's obviously not gonna happen.

I guess you've never heard of a sugarcoat either.

I've got it... We have to break up.

- Whoa. Break up? - We don't need to break up for real.

We'll fake break up,

the team will think the jinx is gone,

they'll relax, you guys can win again.

That could work.

Okay, so what's our story?

- Why are we breaking up? - I met someone else.

- Okay, but who? - Serge lefleur.

- Excuse me? - Serge was.

My imaginary boyfriend when I was eight.

He... he had a velvet beret.

And rode a unicycle.

So your imaginary boyfriend was a mime.

Yeah, a mime who could make a layup.

Hey!

You won't believe this...

Mom and dad are sending me to military school.

Oh, this is terrible!

Well, maybe for you,

but I just doubled my living space.

How can you say that?

What, did I get the math wrong?

I mean, I know I've been bad,

but how can they just send me away?

Well, you gotta hand it to mom and dad...

When you're adding a new kid,

you kinda wanna get rid of an old one.

What about you? You'll be leaving for college soon.

Gabe, everyone knows I'm not going anywhere.

Right, Charlie?

- True dat. - Mmm.

They're sending me to some place called Graystone academy.

Graystone academy.

Ah, found it. "Graystone academy:

Breaking boys' spirits since 1873."

Okay, there... there has gotta be some way out of this.

Well, I'm not very good at thinking of things.

Okay, go on.

No, that's it. I'm not very good at thinking of things.

I've got it.

I'll just start behaving better.

If I show mom and dad how good I can be,

then they'll never send me away.

Your plan requires you to be good.

You have no experience in that.

Well, I'm gonna have to learn. It's either that.

- Or I'm off to military school. - Bye-bye, Gabe.

Hey, what were you dreaming last night?

- You kept kicking me. - I dreamt you were snoring.

Oh, good morning.

Table for two?

- What's all this? - You made us breakfast?