Doctor Who

If you travelled to that star, it's four quadrillion miles away.

I know girls aren't good at maths, but that's a long way.

'Cause the thing is, Belinda,

I look up at the night sky, and it is so beautiful,

and I think, "How can I capture this?

How can I celebrate your birthday and treasure this moment forever?"

So I bought you...

this.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

You could fold the paper and save it for later, but never mind.

Oh, wow.

So, what it means is, uh, that star, that's yours.

That star right there.

Shining down upon us.

-Does it have to say "Miss"? -Are you married?

-No. -Then it's "Miss".

-Do you like it, or... -Yes.

I'm sorry, Alan.

Yes. This is the nicest thing

-anyone has ever done for me. -

Thank you.

Just gonna kiss you.

So who bit you?

Was it a dog?

Was it a man?

Was it your wife?

She's tachy at 120, systolic at 70.

She's had one gram of TXA,

five milligrams of morphine, and she's got a gram of IV paraceta...

So sorry, but I phoned your daughter and she's on her way.

Is there anything else I can get you?

How about a nice cup of tea and a sandwich?

There's a doctor looking for you.

Tell me about it. See you tomorrow.

- No. -Just one little name.

I can't give out home addresses. It's not allowed.

- Look over there! -What?

- -

Oops. Sorry. Sorry.

Linda! Don't touch the granola.

-It's mine. -It's Belinda.

And that was Kristine, not me.

She said it was you.

Will you two keep it down?

Some of us have got work in the morning.

What the...

Is this some kind of joke? You're not real, actual robots, are you?

-'Cause that is just ridiculous. -

Oi! You're wrecking the place! And my landlord is...

not a nice man.

-Where do you think you're going? -

Residents will stay in their rooms.

Don't tell me he needs the toilet.

Missbelindachandra?

-What? -You are Missbelindachandra?

-How do you know my name? -Name confirmed.

-Your Majesty. -Your what now?

You will come with us.

And what if I don't?

You killed the cat.

-The cat is irrelevant. -It wasn't my cat.

The cat is still irrelevant.

What do you want me for?

We come from the star Missbelindachandra. We need you as our queen.

What do you mean the star Belinda?

Missbelindachandra.

Oh, you are kidding me.

Belinda, what's going on?

-Do you know Lucy at number seven? -Yes.

Tell her her cat's gone to live on a farm.

Apparently I'm the queen of outer space, if you could tell the police.

And my mum and dad.

Oh, my poor mum and dad.

Tell them robots are kidnapping me.

Tell them I love them.

Oh, take care, Belinda.

Bye-bye.

- -Transmat initiated.

They're beaming me... ...up!

Belinda!

Belinda!

You ain't seen me.

Belinda!

You haven't even got the right person! It's Alan that bought this thing.

Mr Alan Daniel Budd. Go and get him!

I haven't seen him in 16 years.

I think he moved to Margate.

Tell him he owes me 50 quid.

And what's that thing?

Descent in 500 cycles.

Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?

It was Alan. A-A-Alan Daniel Bu-Bu-Budd.

Six-fi-fi-Sixteen years. Fifty qui-quid.

Go and get him. Da-a-aniel Budd.

What was tha-that thing?

Wha-Wha-What?

Okay.

Oh, that's complicated things.

Entering orbit of Missbelindachandra One.

A planet called Belinda?

Oh, thank God, someone to talk to.

Do me a favour and ask your robots to lay off, will you?

-Welcome to Missbelindachandraville. -Don't you start.

I stand as People's Representative. My name is Sasha 55.

And on behalf of all Missbelindachandrakind,

-I bid welcome to our one true queen. -Yes, sure.

But could you just tell these goons...

And we obey our Robot Overlords in all things.

-What? -Our Robot Overlords.

The Missbelindachandrabots.

So they're in charge?

All praise the Robots.

- -

- Is that... -

What's happening?

-Rebels in the North Zone started a riot. -

So the Robots are unleashing Missbelindachandrabombs.

- -

-They're killing them? - The Robots must be obeyed.

Please help us.

- Polish, polish. -The pathway for Missbelindachandra

must be cleaned and polished.

Right. Thanks.

Polish, polish.

-Right. -Polish, polish.

Missbelindachandra, proceed towards the Throne of the Queen.

Polish, polish. Polish, polish.

Polish, polish.

And what happens now?

The planet Missbelindachandra One will celebrate your royal wedding.

Congratulations to Your Majesty!

What do you mean wedding?

Who am I marrying?

A spark plug?

The Great AI Generator.

Behold!

Attention, citizens of Missbelindachandra One.

Be warned, no help is coming.

You will surrender and genuflect to me.

The AI Generator knows no pity.

No kindness.

No mercy.

And you want me to marry it?

It demands union.

Behold!

The Binding Contract of the Stars may yet save the people.

The Robots will bring her to me,

- so metal and skin... -

...may weld within Miss Belinda Chandra.

Weld?

Queen and Machine combined!

Behold!

I obey the Machine.

I'm saying no.

With regret, your powers are only nominal.

-Enforced wedlock will commence. - Why is it all so mad?

Why is everything on this planet so stupid?

If I may, I think our Designated Historian might explain.

He may speak.

Once upon a time, the planet was united.

Listen.

The Robots and people lived together in peace.

To.

But then, ten years ago, it all changed.

Me.

Because on that day, the Robot Revolution arose.

Please.

What?

Thank you for listening attentively to my story.

- Careful. -Okay.

The AI Generator evolved and achieved perfection.

Robots.

It told its soldiers to conquer all life.

Faulty.

No one knows why. It remains a mystery.

Cannot.

So the mighty Robots marched across the world.

Hear.

People fought back, but they are weak flesh.

Every.

They begged for kindness and hoped for peace.

Ninth.

But then the AI Generator conquered them.

Word.

Robots. Faulty. Cannot. Hear. Every. Ninth. Word.

So, thank you very much.

Very, very much.

Gotcha.

I am very grateful for your infinite wisdom.

Good.

With the people subjugated, the Generator looked out.

-Rebels. It sought for... - Rebels

...the original Miss Belinda Chandra.

Fight.

And so it looked to the planet Earth.