Outer Banks

["Don't Call My Name" by Skinshape playing]

So, you might be wondering

what happens after you find the lost city of El Dorado,

get blown up, two of your parents die,

and you're stranded in South America with a sack full of gold.

Well, let me catch you up.

First, you catch a ride back home...

- - ...and you sleep for, like, three weeks.

And when you finally get back...

- Pope! - Pop!

- - How've you been?

...you make peace with the fam...

Look at you. Come here.

Come here.

Hey! Hey!

Stop right there!

- ...or not. - JJ, you are not welcome here.

Where do you come off thinking

you can walk up here after everything you did?

Mike. She's home. She's safe.

- Don't come back here until he's gone. - Okay.

Guys, I'm sorry.

We're glad you're back, Kie, but we need boundaries.

No.

No. Wait.

Rose, you think I killed him?

You think I killed Dad?

Rose, do you understand how insane you sound?

Can you please just put Wheezie on? Can I please talk to Wheezie?

Can I talk to my little sister, please?

Rose?

Hey.

Welcome home.

And after all the loose ends are tied up,

the gold.

Twenty pounds.

98.5%... gold.

["Every Trick in the Book" by The Allergies playing]

And that translates to...?

This is money.

A whole lot of money.

Moment of truth. All right.

Pin is 0-0-0-0. Enter.

- You're kidding. - What?

Tell me that's a temporary pin.

- I thought nobody could guess. - Change that immediately.

I'm sorry.

Here it comes.

That's me. That's me.

- Let me read it. - Hey!

- Let me read it! - Oh my God.

It's not even the money. It's just the receipt.

- Okay. Okay. Our joint account balance... - Mm-hmm.

...after paying JJ's restitution at 10:04 a.m. on Tuesday...

Oh, come on, get on with it!

Our joint account balance is

one point one million,

seventy-two thousand,

five hundred and forty-nine dollars.

- You said mil? - Million?

- Um... - With an M?

That'll do it!

What?

Oh my God!

That's the craziest thing I've ever seen on a piece of paper.

We can go on a real date.

We're so rich, we can buy the Canadian mussels.

- Not the cheap shit ones. - Hey. Hey.

You can smile, you know.

Look, this doesn't mean we're Kooks.

- Just means we have a little money now. - Oh my God.

Okay, wait.

Hear me out. Rally truck with yellow LEDs to replace the Twinkie for right now.

- No. I'm not getting rid of the Twinkie. - But with solar panels, maybe?

- If it's in the budget. - And a bigger boat.

Guys, hold on. Hold on.

It's... it's not like we can all go off and buy houses or anything.

I mean, split between all of us, that's about $211,000.

Minus what we owe Barracuda Mike.

Let him try and take this. I'll mess him up.

Just gonna say it. I don't wanna piss off the drug dealer.

Listen, if we divide this up, we're all gonna blow it.

Wow, okay. Why are you looking at me like that?

But maybe if we pool our money together,

we can create something with actual economies of scale.

Like what?

- You remember the island. - Duh.

Of course.

I mean, it was our own island,

and we built everything from basically nothing, right?

- It was perfect. - The best life.

That whole island just to ourselves. All of us together.

I think we can have that again. Right here.

JJ's property is going up for auction, right?

So let's buy it back.

I mean, look around. A lot of land.

Deepwater access.

Unless any of you are planning on going back to school,

we're gonna need a place to work, a place to stay and live.

I think we can have both of those things here.

First things first, we get the land, right?

And then over there, we could build, like, a surf shop.

And then maybe we can make our own dock.

- This place needs a dock. - Ooh, what about a bait and tackle shop?

Exactly. And... and who knows these waters better than us?

JJ, you can get a new boat and run a fishing charter.

We can all live and sleep in the house.

Pope was the mastermind.

He saw not what it was but what it could be.

A place where we could work and live together.

A shop, a marina, a place to chill.

But first, we had to buy JJ's land back from the bank.

I'd like to remind you, the winner of the auction...

Listen up. Here's the plan.

We go up in one-dollar increments, all right?

It's gonna take a while, but we're gonna need to save every cent for construction.

- Pope's on point, JJ. Got it? - Mm.

- All right. - Don't change the plan.

...it is the foreclosure sale of 14 Rogers Point Road.

Now, this is the old Maybank place.

Now, the bank has an opening bid of $80,000.

- Here we go. - Looking for 81.

I've got $80,000 going once.

$80,000 and one dollar.

Okay. One dollar more at $80,000, one dollar...

$80,500.

- $80,500. Right here at $80,500. - It's okay.

- Pope's got it. - $80,500.

$80,500 is going once...

$100K flat out. Right here.

$100,000 right here to the gentleman in red...

Hey, what are you doing?

Just a knockout punch. Knockout punch and we're a wrap.

- That's not the plan. That's not the plan. - I got the shit done.

I've got 100,000 dollars right here, is going once,

$100,000 is going twice...

$150K.

$150,000 from Mr. Zeasy.

Good to see you, Dale at 150.

Good to see you, Rog. Just give me a minute here, would ya?

You know, uh, The Cut's gonna be Figure 8 in a few years.

You walk away now,

you won't have to scurry off with your tail between your legs,

and I'll, uh, give you a little taste on the back end.

Dale, was it?

That's correct.

It's not happening, hoss.

- - Let's play ball.

150 bid, bidder with 200, I've got 200...

I've got $775,000 bid...

This is way over our price range.

- Will you make him stop, please? - Get him out of here.

- Hey. Please. It's too much. - Just let me handle this. I've got it.

$775,010, right here, sir.

- $775,010 to the gentleman in red. - Oh my God!

That's too rich for my blood, Rog.

775,010 bidder, looking for 8.

- That's 775,010 is going once... -

...going twice,

last and final call,

sold right here to the gentleman in red. Congratulations.

Can you believe they paid that much?

- Those guys got fleeced. -

The most expensive property in The Cut, and it's not worth it.

Well, it is to us, sir.

If you can scurry to your side of the island,

and stay there, that'd be appreciated.

I get shit done.

We got it. That's all that matters. Whoo!

- All right. - Congratulations, young man.

- Now, where do I sign? - 33% above market value.

Wildly overpaid.

That's, like, all the money.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I christen thee Poguelandia 2.0.

Let's turn this piece of shit into our home.

Let's do it.

We're home, y'all.

Welcome to the palace.

Uh, what's the Wi-Fi password?

We're gonna have to do this Pogue-style.

That means DIY, scavenge, whatever materials we can find.

Look, we might have paid a little bit over on the dirt,

but it's some of the best dirt, okay?

And we'll make it up in construction. Because these boards right here,

if we plane them, they're gonna be as good as new.

These are rotten as shit, man.

They're free as shit as well.

Look, not all rotten.

All right. Yeah. Thank you, Cleo.

Okay, JJ. You're right, this might work.

What about this old cooler?

If you can haul it off, you can have it.

Really?

Things are getting harder on this island. Gonna need all the help you can get.

Are you sure there's nothing we can give you for it?

Please, it's my contribution to your little venture.