Mr. Jones

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-[ Electronic Beeping, Alarm Clock Jangling ] -

[ Beeping, Jangling Continue ]

MORNING ! 00 A.M. WITH THE

GODFATHER OF SOUL COMIN' AT YA.

-AND HE WANTS TO KNOW, HOW DO YOU FEEL ? -* WHOA, I FEEL GOOD

* I KNEW THAT I WOULD, NOW

* I FEEL GOOD

* I KNEW THAT I WOULD, NOW

* SO GOOD, SO GOOD I GOT YOU *

* OHH I FEEL NICE *

* LIKE SUGAR AND SPICE

* I FEEL NICE

* LIKE SUGAR AND SPICE

- -* SO NICE

* SO NICE I GOT YOU *

YEAH !

* WHEN I HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS *

* I KNOW THAT I CAN DO NO WRONG *

* AND WHEN I HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS *

* MY LOVE WON'T DO YOU NO HARM *

* AND I FEEL NICE

* LIKE SUGAR AND SPICE

* I FEEL NICE

* LIKE SUGAR AND SPICE

* SO NICE, SO NICE I GOT YOU *

* WHEN I HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS *

* I KNOW THAT I CAN DO NO WRONG *

* AND WHEN I HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS *

* MY LOVE CAN'T DO ME NO HARM *

* AND I FEEL NICE

* SUGAR AND SPICE

ANYBODY HOME ?

-HUH ? OH, YEAH. -YOU THE FOREMAN ?

YEAH, I'M THE FOREMAN. I DON'T WANT ANY.

-I'M YOUR NEW CARPENTER. -WHAT ?

I READ THE AD IN THE NEWSPAPER. YOU'RE LOOKING FOR CARPENTERS, RIGHT ?

HERE I AM. NO, NO, NO. WE FILLED THAT JOB.

-GOT A FULL HOUSE. SORRY. -WELL, YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE HERE.

I'M A PRECISION MACHINE, MAN. I CAN DO TWICE THE WORK OF ANY OF THESE GUYS, I SWEAR.

GREAT. I'LL ALERT THE MEDIA.

-THE MEDIA. THE MEDIA. THE MEDIA. -THE MEDIA. YEAH.

-EAST COAST, UH-- NEW YORK, UPSTATE-- -YEAH.

UH, SYRACUSE. WHERE ?

-I'M FROM BINGHAMTON. -BINGHAMTON ! I WAS CLOSE ?

- WHAT ? -I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

LOOK--

COME HERE. LISTEN. THIS FIRST DAY I WORK FOR FREE.

-I GIVE IT TO YOU. IT'S A GIFT. -

SECOND DAY, YOU PAY ME FOR TWO DAYS. THIRD DAY, I HAVE YOUR JOB.

ONE DAY ! ONE DAY !

ALL RIGHT. ONE DAY.

-START UPSTAIRS ON THE ROOF. -THANKS, YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.

BINGHAMTON. MAN, I'M EMBARRASSED.

[ Saw Grinding, Hammering ]

HELL-- FUCKIN'--

WHERE DO I GO, MAN ? GIVE ME A JOB.

-UH, WORK WITH HIM. -OKAY.

HEY, GUYS !

WHAT'S YOUR NAME, MAN ?

-HOWARD. WHAT'S YOURS ? -[ Jet Airplane Approaching ]

* CHOO, CHOO, CHOO, CHOO

-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN' ? - SEVEN KIDS.

-RIGHT. -RIGHT. YOU GOT IT.

BOYS ? GIRLS ?

-FIVE GIRLS, TWO BOYS. -OH, THAT'S GREAT, MAN.

THAT'S GREAT.

-CONGRATULATIONS. - ALL RIGHT.

A LOT OF MOUTHS TO FEED THERE.

-AND YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. -YEAH.

TAKE 'EM ALL OUT TO DINNER.

-DO THAT. -SO, WHAT IS THIS ?

I JUST FOUND IT ON THE STREET. IT'S A HUNDRED DOLLARS. JUST TAKE 'EM OUT TO DINNER.

-I'M NOT TAKIN' YOUR MONEY. -REALLY ! THIS IS-- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.

TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED. THIS IS THE TRUTH.

I'M WALKING DOWN THE STREET. I LOOK DOWN IN THE GUTTER,

AND THERE IT IS JUST SITTING THERE.

I BEND DOWN TO PICK IT UP. A VOICE COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND SAYS, "GIVE IT TO HOWARD."

I DON'T KNOW A HOWARD TILL I COME HERE TODAY. IT MUST BE YOU. YOUR LUCKY DAY.

-I'M NOT TAKING YOUR MONEY, MAN. -OH, TAKE THE MONEY, MAN.

IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. TAKE IT FOR THE KIDS. TAKE 'EM TO DINNER--

COUPLE OF BIG MACS.

* CHUKKA, CHUKKA, CHUKKA, CHUKKA, CHUKKA, I FEEL GOOD *

- -* LIKE I KNEW THAT I WOULD, NOW *

* I FEEL GOOD OOH-WAHH !

GOODMORNING. REPRESENTATIVES OF ALL SIDES...

-OF THE BOSNIAN CIVIL WAR RENEWED PEACE TALKS-- -YOU LIKE CHOP SUEY ?

- -I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU. TRUST ME.

- -

HELLO ? HI.

HOW ARE YOU ? FINE. YEAH.

TONIGHT ? UHH--

TONIGHT'S FINE. NO.

NO, NOTHING THAT I CAN'T CANCEL.

OKAY. SO, I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT THEN.

OKAY. BYE.

-[ Footsteps Slide To Halt ] -

OH, YEAH.

[ Jet Engine Whining Overhead ]

COME ON UP, MAN.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT !

WHEW !

WHOO !

OHH, MAN ! YOU EVER FEEL LIKE FLYIN', HOWARD ?

JUST TAKIN' OFF ? OH, YEAH.

-JUST FLY AWAY ! -WHY THE HELL NOT, HUH ?

FLY.

WHY THE HELL NOT ? EXACTLY. WHY THE HELL NOT ?

NO GODDAMN REASON WHY NOT, HOWARD.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN', MAN ?

NOW, IF YOU LOOK AT THE SITUATION HERE,

WHAT WE GOT HERE IS WE GOT A ROOF, 75-DEGREE PITCH,

WHICH IS VERY NICE.

- NOW, -uh, i wouldn't go no further, man !

WHAT WE'RE LOOKIN' FOR HERE IS A BALANCE.

ALL WE GOT TO DO IS FIND A LITTLE...

EQUILIBRIUM.

WE GOT THE WESTERLIES COMIN' IN-- 14, 15 MILES AN HOUR !

COME ON. STEP BACK HERE, MAN.

HOWARD, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MAN.

THIS IS BASIC PHYSICS, OKAY ?

ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS FIND A LITTLE EQUILIBRIUM HERE.

SOME EQUILIBRIUM AND A LITTLE BALANCE !

ALL RIGHT, GIMME A ROPE, SOMEBODY. GIMME A ROPE, GIMME A ROPE, GIMME A ROPE.

EQUILIBRIUM. BALANCE, HOWARD. LOTS OF BALANCE.

BALANCE. BALANCE.

-YES, INDEED. YES, INDEED. -BALANCE...

THE FORCE OF THE THRUST AGAINST THE DRAG !

AND THEN YOU GET LIFTOFF.

FEELS GOOD, HUH, MAN ? COME ON, BABY ! FEELS GREAT. I'M COMIN'.

IT'S ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU. ALL RIGHT !

-WE'RE GOING TO FLY, BABE. WE'RE GONNA FLY ! -I KNOW, WE GONNA FLY.

YES, INDEED. WE'RE GONNA FLY. WHOO !

GET THE DRAG ON THERE. GET THE DRAG ON THERE. I FEEL IT. I FEEL IT.

DON'T TURN AWAY FROM ME. COME HERE. TALK TO ME. DRAG. HERE WE COME.

NOW, DON'T MOVE AWAY FROM ME !

HERE WE COME ! HERE WE COME !

DON'T GO NO FURTHER ! DON'T GO NO FURTHER !

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS, MAN ! OKAY ?

- -COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.

NOW DON'T-- JUST STAY RIGHT THERE. LET ME TALK TO YOU.

JUST STAY RIGHT THERE. JUST STAY RIGHT THERE. HEY !

I'M GONNA FLY !

I'M GONNA SWOOP DOWN ! I'M GONNA FLY !

HOWARD. LOOK AT ME, MAN. LOOK AT ME.

OKAY, HOWARD. THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO, MAN.

THIS WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO. WE'RE GONNA FLY DOWN,

COME AROUND THE FRONT OF THE AMBULANCE, COME AROUND THE BACK.

I'M GONNA LAND RIGHT ON THAT BED.

IN FACT, I'M GONNA GO AROUND IT THREE TIMES AND THEN LET DOWN ON IT.

SO JUST MOVE THE BED AROUND A LITTLE BIT ! I'LL SLIDE RIGHT IN !

- -

- -

-YOU'RE LATE. -YOU'RE LATER. SHE'LL BE MAD.

I'M TERRIFIED.

THE PSYCHIATRIC EMERGENCY ROOM IS CLOSED ALMOST DAILY...

BECAUSE OF THE STAFF CUTS.

THE SITUATION HERE...

IS ALSO DIRE.

OUR UNOFFICIAL POLICY...

IS EVALUATE, MEDICATE, VACATE.

SOUND COLD-BLOODED ? IT IS.

THEY NEED THE TREATMENT AND WE NEED THE BEDS.

AT THIS POINT, I'D LIKE TO TURN YOU OVER TO TWO OF MY STAFF,

DR. ELIZABETH BOWEN AND DR. PATRICK SHEA.

THEY'LL SHOW YOU AROUND THE FACILITIES.

I TRUST YOU'LL ENJOY YOUR VISIT. THANK YOU.

- GOOD MORNING. -GOOD AFTERNOON.

IN THE YEARS 1970 TO 1975, FOUR U.S. MENTAL HOSPITALS-- I MUST SPEAK !

-OKAY ! UH, THAT WAS OUR GOOD FRIEND, MR. WILSON. -

DR. BOWEN AND I WILL BE GOING ON ROUNDS, SO IF YOU'D LIKE TO FOLLOW US, PLEASE.

COME IN ! MOVE AROUND THERE. LET EVERYONE IN. DON'T BE SHY.

-HE WON'T BITE, WE HOPE. -

WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE ?

OKAY, WE HAVE A MALE CAUCASIAN. HE'S APPROXIMATELY 35,

WAS BROUGHT IN BY THE POLICE.

UH, HE WAS DOING A HIGH-WIRE ACT ON A ROOF.

WHEN HE CAME IN HE WAS HIGHLY AGITATED, DELUSIONAL,

HAVING AUDITORY HALLUCINATIONS.

-HAS ANYONE EXAMINED HIM YET ? -THE RESIDENT ON DUTY MADE...

A PRELIMINARY DIAGNOSIS OF PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIA.

-WHAT DID THEY GIVE HIM ? - HALDOL, 10

MILLIGRAMS. THAT'S PRETTY HEAVY.

SEEMS TO HAVE WORKED. ALL RIGHT, THIS IS A NEW PATIENT.

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING WE DO ?

ASSESS THE PATIENT'S ORIENTATION.

VERY GOOD. VERY GOOD. ELIZABETH--

CAN YOU TELL ME YOUR NAME ?

-HMM ? - NO NAME ?

NO HISTORY. NO ONE ON THE JOB KNEW HIM.

- DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY THIS IS ? -

WHAT ?

JO--

JONES.

- WHAT DID HE SAY ? - I THINK HE SAID "JONES."

HIS NAME IS JONES.

-HI. -HI.

UM--

I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU.

WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR ?