The Sleeping Dictionary

Get out of here! Get off!

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

I was expecting to be met.

Good morning, Truscott.

I am Belansai.

Welcome to our country.

He's a bright chap.

He'll be the head man of his Longhouse in two years.

John Truscott.

Henry Bullard.

I'm the governor of this district,

but you just think of me as God.

Hop aboard.

You've got far too good a degree for this job.

What are you running away from? Your debts?

Your family? Or a woman?

No, no debts. No woman.

My mother died two years ago.

My father was killed at Passchendaele, so...

Well, why in God's name are you here?

My father was a district officer out here.

William C. Truscott?

Ahhh.

He'd drawn up a plan to bring education to the Iban

which the governor general had approved,

but then he had to go back to the war...

and it never happened.

And you've brought this plan with you, have you?

Yes, I think it's our duty to educate primitive people.

God, you sound a sanctimonious little prig.

Still, you're young.

Sarawak'll knock it out of you.

Famous, you lazy bastard!

Look at the state of this place.

Bring Truscott tea and gadgets double quick.

Come on. Chibi, chibi, chibi.

It's got bugs in there.

He's the best cook in Sarawak.

Though strictly speaking he's still on parole.

What did he do?

Oh, he hacked some damn fool rickshaw driver to death.

But you should taste his meringues.

- Shouldn't he be in-- - Now, tomorrow,

you've an invitation from your local Longhouse,

the Gawa Kenyalong.

So Belansai'll pick you up.

The feast to honor the war god

where they take the giant hornbill statue down from the rafters.

Oh, God.

You read-- books.

I'm afraid they insist upon it at university.

Do they?

Has it come to that now?

Yes, I'll--

I'll see you in a day or so.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me...

What's my job?

This is my father, Melaka.

He is head man of the Longhouse.

This is rice wine.

Ah. Um...

I won't drink on duty, thanks.

To refuse is an insult.

Left, right. Left, right.

It's chibi, chibi, chibi!

It is a... very ancient tribal dance.

Oh, no, um... no.

Very kind of you to offer,

but I think I'll give it a miss this time round.

You must make us entertainment.

A song? A dance?

A poem?

Perhaps all three.

"The sand of the desert is sodden red,

Red with the wreck of the ranks that broke.

The Gatling's jammed and the Colonel dead,

And the regiment blind with dust and smoke.

The river of death has brimmed his banks,

And England's far and honor's a name,

But the voice of a schoolboy rallies the ranks,

'Play up!

Play up and play the game!'"

" Da-dum-dum-dum "

" Da-da-da-da, Dum-dum-dum-dum "

" Da-da-da-da "

Oh, Truscott, you are very funny Englishman.

Excuse me. What's going on?

The dancing is over.

We go to sleep now.

You deliberately dropped me in it, didn't you?

You know I made a complete fool of myself?

They like a man who makes them laugh.

Iban society is based on heavy drinking,

violent sport and practical jokes.

Just think of it as English public school

without the buggery.

I'm on a mission to civilize, not to entertain.

The mining concessions at Kera Pulau

have been trespassing outside their boundaries.

Your local Longhouse

got to some Chinese miners before I did.

You're going to have to bring in their heads.

What?

Well...

we limit the areas where the mining concerns can--

No, no, no. You said...

you said "their heads."

Well, yes.

The Iban have cut them off.

What?

Ahh.

My dear.

This is Selima.

She's going to live with you.

As what?

Uh... she performs wifely duties.

Oh yeah? What... sewing?

She performs wifely duties in the bedroom.

- For God's sakes, man. - I sleep with you.

We expect you to know the language within six months.

Selima's what's known around here as a "sleeping dictionary."

Sleep...

My mother was also sleeping dictionary.

That's why I speak the King English.

There's nothing like bed for learning a language.

It's the only reason I speak Portuguese.

No, look, poor girl.

- She was just-- picked? - I pick you.

And she's really choosy.

She turned down my last two cadet officers.

Listen, your contract forbids you

to marry for three years.

Three years can be very lonely.

And after three years?

We'll probably all be dead, so why worry?

Oh, dear.

Listen...

you'll go home on leave to England

and you'll come back with a rosy-cheeked little wife.

Selima will go home to her Longhouse

speaking fluent English.

Oh, damn it, man, it's worked for centuries.

There's no reason why you should be different.

No, I'm sorry, no. No.

I know you think I'm just some young idiot,

but if I don't follow what I think's right, what else is there?

Then you'd better find another way to learn the damn language.

Because if a so-called educated man

can't speak the language of the people he governs,

he's no right to be here!

Fine, maybe she can stay as... just a dictionary?

- If she doesn't mind, that is. - What?

Mind not sleeping with you? I'm sure she'll survive.

She said yes.

What else did she say?

You'll have to learn Iban and find out, won't you?

I'd stand back if I were you.

Ha ha!

Ants.

Yes, ants. Thank you very much.

Good night.

You say no, she get very angry.

Rain always stop in morning.

Sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite.

Chinese heads as per request.

Thank you.

As you know, the Longhouse will be fined.

Beyond that, there will be no further action.

Monkey heads.

We make a joke on you.

Maybe I'll make a joke on you

and bring a detachment of colonial police up the river.

I want those heads delivered to my bungalow by tomorrow morning

or I will confiscate your--

your pigs.

Master?

I bring you someone.

This is Jasmine.

He is assistant chef.

What do we need an assistant chef for?

- He assist you. - Me?

He assist you in...

private way.

Is this one of your relatives?

No, no, no. He very clean.

He come from Englishman on coast

who too old for all that now.

What?

Oh, good God. Get him out of--

No, get him out now!

- But, master-- - Get him out of here!

And Selima, bring me a whiskey.

What are you doing?!

I'm not servant.

Fine. You don't have to be a servant.

You're fired! Dismissed!

You cannot fire me because I am not yours to fire.

I fire you.