Frasier

This is exactly why I hate fix-ups.

She's not coming.

Just give her a few more minutes.

Come on, tell me about the cabin.

Oh, all right. Uh...

Well, Mom and Dad used

to take us up there when we were kids.

Niles and I thought

it might be a nice birthday gift for Dad

if we took him up there again.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

I'm being stood up on a blind date.

I'm pathetic.

You are so insecure.

God, where does that come from?

Jessica will be here.

"Jessica"? I thought you said her name was "Jennifer." Jennifer?

Jennifer goes out with a weatherman.

She's way out of your league.

Look, let me have your cell phone.

I'll call her and see what's going on.

Frasier?

Oh, I'm sorry, Roz.

The most striking woman just came in.

Well, it's probably Jessica.

No, no, no, it's not Jessica.

She's with a man.

God, I don't know what it is about her.

I can't take my eyes off of her.

Do you suppose they're a couple?

No, no... don't...!

I'll tell you what... you have to go

over there for me and find out.

What? You owe me. Come on.

All right, it's that table right by the counter.

Go on. Oh, all right.

: No, Roz, Roz.

That's the wrong table.

Excuse me.

I know this is a little weird,

but my friend over there thinks you're really, really cute.

He wanted to know if you two were on a date.

"A date"? Oh, no, Hank and I are just friends.

Oh, that's good news.

That's really good news.

Hi, Hank.

I'm Roz Doyle.

Uh, excuse me.

Uh...

I suppose you noticed I-I was staring at your table,

and I was just, uh, wondering if, um...

that gentlemen you're with, i-is he your husband?

Oh, no.

Oh. Uh, boyfriend?

No.

Oh, wonderful.

Would you like me to introduce you?

He just broke up with someone.

No, no-no-no, uh...

no, I-I was, uh... I was staring at you.

You were?

Yes.

Gosh, I know this may seem awfully bold of me.

I-I'm not the sort of man

who hits on every woman he sees... Excuse me.

Hi, um, your friend said you wanted to know

if I was single.

It's okay... you don't have to be embarrassed.

Yes, he does.

: No.

There's been a little mistake.

You see, I asked my friend

to approach this lovely woman,

and she obviously mistook you for the woman I meant.

Well, that's certainly understandable,

seeing as you're lovely as well.

You see, it's just that at this moment, that's...

Well, I'm, uh... many apologies.

Gosh, I'm sorry.

Let me start again.

I'm Frasier Crane.

Oh, you're Frasier.

Oh. Hi. I'm Jessica, Roz's friend.

Jessica.

Roz thought

we might hit it off.

Indeed, we might have, you see, if not for the fact

that I've-I've just met this, uh, woman

to whom I'd be glad to introduce you,

except I-I don't know what her name is yet, so, uh...

You know, Roz could explain all this.

Uh, she's sitting over there next to that scowling woman.

Gosh, you know, you must think

I'm some sort of a smooth operator.

No, not really.

Ah.

I-I really am... terribly sorry, uh...

I'm Mia, Mia Preston.

Mia... Mia Preston?

The children's book author?

Yes. Oh, my goodness.

Panda in the Parlor?

Oh, wow, I love that book.

I've read it a hundred times.

I'm impressed.

Most of my readers can't even count that high.

Oh, no, no, no. No, I-I used to read it to my son.

You know, many is the quart of milk

we poured in the backyard

waiting for the Oreo tree to grow.

Gosh, you know, I'd...

I'd love to take you to lunch sometime.

Lunch? Um...

Well, all right, coffee?

Anything. I-I'd just like a chance to get to know you better.

Well, I... okay.

You're certainly persistent.

Well, a wise woman once wrote,

"No cookie jar is up too high

for a panda who will try and try."

Now you're scaring me.

Hey, Daph.

I see you're wearing your buffet pants.

They're hip waders.

I'm breaking them in for the weekend.

Where's Fras?

He's probably off somewhere with that Mia.

Oh, yeah, seems to be getting serious, huh?

You know, it's funny, you can always tell.

Starts using French words for no reason.

Yeah, and that laugh, the giddy one.

After you, Niles.

Thank you.

Hello, all.

Well, there's a faux pas averted.

I almost wore my big rubber pants today.

They're for the trip.

I'm nearly done packing.

I've just got to get my fly vest and my tackle box

and there's one more thing.

Well, we're taking off in a few hours, so depeche-toi.

Oh, yeah, earplugs for the car ride up... thank you.

Oh, uh, Dad, don't forget

to pack some sturdy knee socks.

I should get some for myself.

You remember the insect situation

at the cabin.

Good Lord, Niles,

not this bug phobia of yours.

It's not a phobia.

The mosquitoes up there are huge.

My first summer, I was chased off the end of the dock

by one the size of a pelican.

So, Dr. Crane, when do we finally get to meet

this new girlfriend of yours? Oh, Mia.

Well, she's on her way over here right now.

She says she's gonna take me out to buy some new trousers.

You see, this new diet she's got me on...

I've lost my love handles... just when I needed them most.

So, Niles, Niles, you got those movies?

Shh. Yes. Here they are. Thank you.

Movies?

Yes, shh. Shh-shh-shh.

For Dad's birthday.

We had some of his old home movies

transferred to videotape.

God, you know, I haven't seen these in years.

You know, Daphne, it's gonna be quite a hoot this weekend.

You sure you don't want to join us?

Gutting fish, watching home movies

and hosing down your father's pants...

It does sound tempting.

Oh...

Hi, honey.

Hi, Mia.

Hi.

Gosh, come on in. Come on in.

This is Daphne Moon.

And that's my brother, Niles.

Oh, it's great to finally meet you two.

Likewise.

So, what do you got there?

Oh, I baked some fat-free goodies

for your trip.

Oh. Where's the kitchen?

Oh, right this way.

And there's a ton of muffins,

if anybody wants one.

Oh, uh, not for me.

I have some problems with allergies.

Really? Well, these are just wheat germ, oat bran and carob.

Oh, well, throw in a sea scallop,

you can call the paramedics right now.

She seems nice, doesn't she?

You all right, Dr. Crane?

I'm sorry, Daphne, it's just that...

Mia looks exactly like our mother.

Mrs. Crane?

I've only seen photos, mind, but

now that you mention it, there is a resemblance.