Taxi

Hey, belson, you got cab 2452!

Tony, get out of cab 2452.

We need it.

Harry! 8622... wash it!

It's filthy!

Hey, Tony, you get creamed

in your fight last night?

What's it like

having a cauliflower back?

I didn't get creamed.

I lost on the decision.

I'm impressed.

The referee decided I was bleeding too much.

Hey, Alex, want to go for breakfast?

No, I can't.

Hey, Alex. Hi, Alex.

Hi. Hi, guys.

I'm sorry I didn't have anything smaller than a $50

but I only had $150 in the bank

and I took it all out to come to New York,

and they gave me three 50s...

Yeah. And so, you see...

Look, I'm sorry I had to bring you back here

just to get change.

Oh, are you kidding?

This is the New York kind of thing

I've always dreamed of.

Maybe you want to buy one of our postcards.

Anybody here got change for a $50?

Yeah, I got it.

Hey, had a good night, huh, Alex?

Very funny.

Here you go.

Now, how much was that again?

$4.85.

There's five, and, uh...

This going to take much longer?

I'm sorry. I want to give you a tip.

It's just difficult to figure out

what 15% of $4.85 is when somebody's looking at you.

73 cents!

No, no pennies, thanks.

No pennies.

Uh, may I use the phone?

I have to find someplace to stay.

Yeah, right there.

Oh.

Uh, do you have...?

Huh? Yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, Alex. Yeah.

They called me back for equus.

Oh, you see?

I told you.

Hey, what's equus?

Hey, don't give me a look like that.

I could ask a question.

A lot of people don't know about that.

It's... a play.

It's a play about a psychiatrist

and a boy who worships horses.

So, before I go in there, I say straight to them:

"Gentlemen, you're looking at the man you're gonna hire."

So that gets their interest up real quick, right?

Oh, yeah. Right, right.

Hey, what part are you trying for?

Listen, soon as I finish over there,

I'll come over here

and I'll tell you everything, okay?

Until then, have a piece of gum.

Oh, thanks.

Why didn't you tell him what part?

Because, Alex, he won't understand.

Try him.

But, Alex, he won't...

Go ahead, try him. Take a chance.

Okay.

I'm up for the part of the horse.

Yeah? Which end?

Gee, this phone is terrific.

Yeah? We hoped you'd like it.

No, no, I mean, this plate's broken, see?

You just put your money in, and it comes right back.

You can call anywhere for free. Look.

Okay, behind me.

That's right, calm yourselves.

I got here first.

Hey, Alex, don't you want to make a call?

No, I don't have anybody to call.

There's got to be somebody somewhere

you want to call.

No, well, no, not now.

Hello?

Is this the national theater of London, england?

Yeah. I'd like to speak to sir Laurence Olivier, please.

Yeah, it's Bobby Wheeler from New York City calling.

No, it's not personal.

I'm an actor, too.

This... is the national theater of London.

That is a good call.

Hello?

I can't believe it.

I... I didn't think I could get you on the phone.

Oh, wow.

Laurence Olivier's secretary.

Listen, uh...

Do you think that I could talk to him, please?

Oh. Well, uh...

What's he doing?

Oh, wow.

No kidding?

Taking a curtain call?

Well, don't bother him.

Just... just tell him that a guy...

No... that an actor... Named Bobby Wheeler

just called to say... that...

Yeah. Hey, hey, thanks for listening.

That is a great phone, man.

Hey, Alex, you want to take my turn?

Uh, no, thanks, Tony.

You go ahead.

Well, if you're sure,

I think I'll make a little one myself.

Operator. Yeah, I'd like to call Bangkok, Thailand.

Yeah, when I was in Vietnam, I went r&r in Bangkok.

Met a girl I just can't get out of my mind.

Just crazy about her.

Classiest lady I ever met.

Yes, operator, I want the vip massage parlor.

Okay, I'll deposit the money.

Excuse me?

Uh, my name's Elaine nardo.

They told me to ask for Louie.

Yes, ma'am. I'm Louie de palma.

Oh, hi.

I hope there's no trouble.

If there is, I'll be glad to help

in any way I can.

Oh, no, no. It's just that they told me

I'd be starting work today as a driver.

Here's my hack license.

You're a cab driver?

What do you mean

busting my chops here

making believe you're a regular person?

Go wait over there.

I'll call your name and number.

Till then, keep your mouth shut!

What's wrong?

Don't they feed you in there?

Whoo!

Whoo-whoo!

Hey, witty person.

Fill out this form...

And I hope you fill it out

better than you fill out your pants.

See, we're all fun here.

Now, you mustn't be too upset with Louie, miss.

He's really a very nice guy.

He'd give you the scales off his back.

Well, I don't have to worry about him.

I'm only going to be working here part-time.

Oh.

I have this other job...

Oh, yeah, yeah. I know.

We're all part-time here.

I'm part-time.

I only work 60 hours a week.

No, really... I really work

as a receptionist at an art gallery.

Oh, yeah?

No, I'm not really a taxi driver.

No, no, I understand.

You see that guy over there?

Now, he's an actor.

The guy on the phone, he's a prizefighter.

This lady over here, she's a beautician.

The man behind her, he's a writer.

Me, I'm a cab driver.

I'm the only cab driver in this place.

Why is everyone here just a little angry?

Hey, it's ringing.

Excuse me, miss.

You're a very interesting person,

but I'm not sure you're as interesting

as a massage parlor in Bangkok.

Well, don't be too sure till you know me better.

Oh...

No, no, I'm kidding.

I'm not serious.

I'm all talk, really.

Please. I'm all talk.

Oh, well...

Back to the massage parlor.

Hello, this is pfc Tony banta.

I'm calling from the usa.

I'd like to speak to... Number 12.

She's not, huh?

Hey, is there any way I could reach her?

Oh. Well, so long.