La Chèvre

THE GOAT

You arrived OK? How's everything?

Perfect. I have a room on the ocean!

It's fantastic!

No, I'm fine. I want to go for a walk before lunch.

No, I'll be careful. Nothing will happen to me.

No, don't worry, I tell you!

All right. Yes, Dad.

A man with a parachute is going by.

It's magnif...

Dad? Yes, we were cut off.

I tell you you've no reason to worry.

What could possibly happen to me?

Are you hurt?

What happened to me?

Come on, I'll take care of you.

Well, this certainly isn't your day!

Emergency? The main entrance!

Stop!

Mr. President? May I speak to you a moment?

I don't have time. See my secretary.

It's about your daughter, sir.

Come with me.

I'm listening.

My idea is going to seem absurd to you, sir.

She disappeared over a month ago.

Neither the police nor my private detective have found her.

Mr. Meyer, I've even consulted a seer with a pendulum.

No ideas seem absurd anymore.

You're going to say I'm crazy, sir.

Excuse me.

Wait a second!

Lend me that for a moment.

You have a man in accounting named François Perrin.

Ask him to join us in the board room.

Let's try a little experiment.

I've worked here for 10 years, sir.

I've never known your daughter to have anything but bad luck.

She's amazingly accident-prone.

She's the unluckiest girl I know.

Bad luck is fascinating, sir. Fascinating!

Mr. Perrin is here, sir.

Send him in.

You'll ask him to sit down.

- What? - Just ask him to sit down.

Good morning, sir.

Please sit down.

Sit down.

- I have to sit down? - Yes.

Where?

Wherever you like.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

Thank you. You may go now.

Your daughter probably would've done the same thing.

Mr. Campana is here, sir.

Come in, Mr. Campana.

Thanks for coming at once.

This is Mr. Meyer, the psychologist we employ.

Mr. Meyer has an idea he'd like to submit to you.

Have a seat.

Before you went to Mexico to investigate,

I told you about my daughter's bad luck.

Mr. Meyer has evolved from that a theory

which at first may seem absurd, but...

Go ahead, Meyer.

I say the only way to find her

is to give the case to a man as unlucky as she is.

A man like you can't do it. You're normal.

But an unlucky guy will slip on the same banana peels as she does.

He'll be able to find her.

May I speak to you alone?

What is this crap?

Please step out.

I've been at this 10 years, and clowns like him never succeed.

- Listen... - I spent 42 days there.

I did my very best. Don't believe guys like him.

All they do is sell hope.

You'll go back there with Mr. Perrin and start from scratch.

- Who? - Mr. Perrin.

He works in accounting.

Meyer has studied him, he's the man we need.

I'm sorry, count me out.

Don't walk out on me, I beg you.

Don't let me down, it's my last hope.

There he is.

He was hired two years ago.

I tested him then, and I've observed him since.

He's phenomenal.

He looks normal, though.

He was a seven-month baby.

And guess what happened to his incubator?

It broke down.

I don't believe in bad luck. Bullshit.

You've heard of Eugène Delacroix, the painter?

At three, he was nearly strangled by a curtain cord.

Then his mosquito net caught fire. He was badly burned.

While he was recovering,

he was dropped into some water.

Miraculously, he was saved, but...

then he choked on some grapes.

That is all absolutely true.

Delacroix is an example of incredible bad luck.

Mr. Perrin is here, sir.

Now you play along.

You know what I think of this.

Send him in.

Come in, Mr. Perrin.

You know Mr. Meyer. And this is Mr. Campana.

Sit down, Mr. Perrin.

You're wondering why I've sent for you.

Yes, sir.

You know what happened to my daughter.

Yes, sir. It's terrible.

You can help me.

- Me? - Yes, you.

Mr. Meyer says you have keen insight...

and unusual deductive powers.

I'm asking you to go to Mexico to look for my daughter.

You are my last hope.

To Mexico?

Mr. Campana will go with you.

He's a detective.

He'll be your assistant.

Well, do you accept?

Glad to be working with you.

You've been unlucky so far, but with me, that will change.

I'll give it all I've got.

We'll make a good team.

I'll get a cart.

- Hey, that's my cart. - Sorry?

I just got it for my bags.

Don't get sore. Your name's not on it.

I open my trunk and he swipes my cart.

If you wanted to keep it, why did you leave it here?

- I didn't. I was opening my trunk. - Forget it, come on.

No, this has become uncivil.

Shit! I go miles to find a cart and this nerd swipes it!

We don't need a cart for two bags. Come on.

He called me a nerd.

This concerns him and me. Don't interfere.

You called me a nerd?

I practice judo, aikido and karate.

What we learn first is self-control.

If insulted, don't slug, just stare and leave.

Then beat it.

You're lucky. Take your cart and split.

You're lucky.

Asshole.

You're lucky.

Queer.

Total control.

Let's go.

I'm sorry I had to show force. I hate disrespect.

That's the first time...

the electronic doors have failed to work.

You OK?

I checked our bags in. Hurry up or we'll miss the plane.

I feel dizzy.

- Doors that fail to... - We'll miss the plane.

The first time.

Hurry up!

- Damn! - What?

I left my case in the infirmary.

Forget it!

Too late. We missed it.

Wait here.

It's all arranged.

DELAYED

There you are.

I'll get my case. We have time now.

You didn't say there was a bomb?

Well, we'll make the flight.

He did it, the dirty bastard!

Can't be helped. I told Mr. Bens we'd leave today, and we will.

When I get going, it's hard to stop me!

- Mr. Perrin? - Come with us.

Is this your bag?

Sorry, it was an accident.

- What? - Some ass said there was a bomb.

A false alarm. But your bag suffered during the inspection.

Itemize its contents and you'll be reimbursed.

I have to check it in.

You can take it on as hand luggage now!

You're too late.

We'll leave tomorrow.

- Are there any flights to Acapulco? - Yes, at 2 p.m.

At Acapulco we'll get a plane to Puerto Vallarta.

That way, we won't lose a day.

Do you like flying?

I love it.

But last time, we had a problem.

We almost crashed.

It was at Orly. The wing flaps got stuck.

We nosed into a field!

Happens often, it seems.

- We're about to take off, I hope. - Cut it out.

It's taking a long time.

- Are we up yet? - Damn it!

Don't shout, you scared me.