Sicily Express (Sicilia Express)

SICILY EXPRESS

NORTH

SANTA SERENITA CLINIC

Sorry, guys, but it's an emergency.

And what? You couldn't tell him we're not around?

Well, he's Sicilian, he only trusts the two of you.

Why couldn't I have been Venetian?

This is torture, I miss the Sicilian air! Son...

Dad, if you wanna get back to Sicily, take your medicine.

Enough medicine.

What's the problem today, Mr. Giacalone? What is it now, huh?

As usual, he has some sort of problem with his IV drip.

No! Your northern medicine isn't going anywhere near my veins!

Not a chance, understood?

- Relax, Mr. Giacalone. - Step back, I'll handle this.

All right, Giacalone, look what I brought in for you.

A special IV drip from our native land of Sicily.

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of the sea!

Is that true?

- Of course! - Just for you!

And, get this, we also have special antibiotics.

- From Taormina. - Taormina.

You love Taormina. Open it up, you can almost taste the scent of Jasmine.

- Only the best for you, sir! - And these were sealed?

Oh, very sealed, sir.

- Don't worry, very sealed. Right, see? - Mm!

Because, you know the air here, the air is frankly unbearable.

It's killing me, Milan air is going to be the death of me!

Is it the IV that's gonna kill you or the Milan air?

Or just anything not Sicilian? Huh?

I'm telling you, the Milan air spoils everything it touches.

Hell, even cannoli.

- Even cannoli? - I'm telling you.

You know they make cannoli here in Milan, huh?

Yeah, they even have the ricotta sent from Sicily.

When the ricotta gets here,

it gets exposed to the Milan air and is immediately ruined.

And the cannoli are spoiled!

Ah, but why are they keeping all this stuff from us, huh?

It's all a big secret?

- A big mystery, isn't it? - Don't worry.

We're actually about to head to Sicily. We'll bring you back good cannoli.

Oh! A cannoli?

- That's nice! - I got to admit, it's all true!

Down there, it's just different.

The sea air is magic!

Oh, the magic!

- Now he'll be impossible to deal with! - What's the matter with you?

- Look, I wasn't trying to-- - Hey there. Good morning, everyone.

Mr. Giacolone. I guess it's true, Southerners just won't die.

If all Southerners died, you'd have to close all the hospitals.

True! In fact, you're the ones keeping us in business.

You're nuts if you think I'm being treated by a Milanese!

A Milanese? Sir, I'm from Cefalù!

- I already told you. - See? That's right near your home base!

- Best air in the world, after Sicily! - My home base, true!

We've gotta go. Bye, Giulio, see you all in two days.

- Thanks a lot! - Get the cannoli!

Cannoli coming right up! Bye!

In the meantime, we have a nice IV with a hint of Rosolio!

- Hear that, Dad? Sounds good! - Really, Rosolio?

- Where you going?! -

Just be careful.

- We will! - Yeah, yeah. We got it!

- -

- Hey! -

Where exactly are you guys off to?!

- Hm... - Uh...

Just wandering off with a suitcase each?!

What are you talking about?

Those ones you're holding!

Oh, these two.

You need to tell me what's in the suitcases!

It's just our lunch.

Just your lunch?

Uh-huh.

One, two, both of you! Get to my office!

And then we'll discuss today's lunch.

- -

All right, I think we may have an issue with the structure that we have here,

that's built on a foundation of perseverance,

absolute dedication, and punctuality.

Is that clear to you?

It's very clear, director. We're just still getting used to it,

'cause we transferred from the south to north...

And, you know, at our age, on top of that, we've also got our families down south.

Oh, poor you!

Another southerner feeling sorry for themselves.

Director, you should understand, you're from the south.

No, stop. Don't even try to go there.

Sicily's in the south. And Calabria's in the north.

Sir, we really need to get back today.

Our wives are opening a business.

It'll be a charming little farm-to-table shop, and we gotta support.

"A farm-to-table shop! Please, director!"

Blah, blah! No! Listen to your horrible, awful mumbling!

- It disgusts me! It's vile! - He hates our mumbling now?

- So annoying! - He's got a point.

You all drive me nuts!

All of you southerners!

My blood pressure's elevated because of you!

Oh, well.

Director, you're right.

We try our best to be as articulate and well-spoken as you,

but it just doesn't come as naturally to us.

It's just really difficult because whenever we go back home,

we fall back into those bad habits, you know?

- Yeah. - Listen, I understand.

I was a big mumbler when I first came north.

It's hard to shake being a true Calabrese.

- Oh, sure. - Oh, you're Calabrese?

Mm-hm.

- Ah. - Hm.

Anyways, back to why I called you both here in the first place.

I was just told that you two bozos, and I do mean bozos,

have asked for a two-day leave.

- Just two. - Two. It's nothing.

Seems reasonable.

And difficult for me to revoke the request at the last minute.

Well-thought-out. I mean, very good.

Yeah, sorry we didn't give you more of a heads-up.

But you're not going.

- How come? - No!

I'm the boss. Ha, yeah!

- But, director... - No!

And tomorrow, you'll be here on time! Punctuality!

And if you're not, you won't get Mr. Nice Director,

I'll do what I should've done and fire both of you!

That clear enough for you two?

Very clear.

- Huh?! - Very clear!

Ah!

- Okay. Uh, so we'll, uh, see you later. - Good day.

- -

- I'm really sorry, guys. - Ah. Yeah, what are you gonna do?

- Bye. - See you.

Bye.

Wow! Lucky them, off to the sea air.

Again with the air? You and the sea air! God!

Bye!

- -

Hey, hold it!

You two better bring back those Sicilian cannoli!

- Remember you promised! - We got it!

- Don't forget it! - We got it!

- Go, go, go, go, go, go! -

- Hey! - Hey, Gio.

There's no point rushing. There's some kind of mechanical problem.

- They're not sure we can fly. - Come on. Are you serious?

- Can't they put us on another plane? - They're all full.

- We have to hope-- -

- What's that? - Excuse me.

- But... - No, please go right ahead.

Hey, hon. Yeah. No, they haven't told us anything yet.

- I know. - Hey, you guys.

- Hey, Fe. - Let's hope they let us fly today.

- That's what Gio was saying-- - My wife--

- - Sorry, one second.

Sweetheart. Maria, I wish, but they haven't told us anything yet.

- Mario! - Hey!

This is unbelievable.

If I knew there were delays, I wouldn't have bothered--

- Awful. - We were saying it's ridicu--

- - Sorry, I think that's me. Hold on.

- Him too. - There he goes.

- My God, you can't talk anymore. - I know.

- Can't have a real conversation. - No one wants to talk in person.

- They're back. - Okay.

- Talk on the phone or talk to us, okay? - Yeah, come on.

So, what do you think? Any shot they let us fly today?

- How are we supposed to know? We-- -

- Oh! Sorry. Oops, gotta take this. - Hold on, sorry! One second.

Hey, Dad!

Hey, Aurora! Aren't you supposed to be in school?

I'm helping Mom set up the new store.

You need to hurry up, Dad. We'll have to put up the tree soon.

Don't worry, honey, I'll be there. Can you put Mommy on the phone?

Salvo, don't do this to me.

ZERO KILOMETER

We already postponed the opening so you could be here. Come on!

What am I supposed to do?

There's a problem with the engine, I'm stuck here. I'm sure we'll leave soon.

Honestly, I'm not sure when or if we're getting out of here.

What about the opening?!

Can't you get on a different flight or drive or something?

You know I wanna be there.

Maybe I should try to fix the plane engine.

Come on, Salvo, stop joking around!

Say bye to your dad. Goodbye!

Bye, Daddy! Oh, is it okay if we hang chocolates on the tree too?

Of course, we can do whatever we want, sweetie.

Now go to school.

Okay, I love you too! Bye!

No major surprise, Salvo said their flight's been delayed.

I know. Val just told us too.

Look, I gotta take Aurora to school, we're already late.

- I'll be right back to help. - I'll start, don't worry.

- See you soon. - Relax! It'll all work out!

It's a fact.

We from the north know how to get things done! Hm?