Spy

I'm just asking to spend a little more time with him.

Is that unreasonable?

Would you stop whining?

But why can't I join your book club?

You thought Nabokov played left-back for Chelsea.

Well, I was joking.

I thought you're being a little unfair, Marcus.

Philip would have known the answer.

Really don't want to hear about Philip.

No offense, Philip.

Don't worry about me, bro.

Are you sure everything's alright, Philip?

Why do you ask?

You do seem a little tense.

- You're embarrassing yourself, Philip. - You're not the boss of me.

What's the matter with you two?

- Nothing. - Private.

Alright then.

- She keeps me out of bedroom. - Philip!

- It's been two weeks. - What did you do?

I just said she reminded me slightly, slightly of Noel Edmonds.

Yeah. No, she hates that.

- Yeah, but I like Noel Edmonds. - We're not talking about this here.

I mean can you imagine what it's like to,

you know, go without for two whole weeks?

- Yeah. - No.

But I can't take it anymore.

- I'm a very sexual person. - Wow, thanks for that.

Please take me back, my love!

Really don't think this is the place, Philip.

- This is exactly the place. - Really?

There's nothing more natural than talking about sex.

- Not in front of a child, though. - Especially in front of a child.

No. You know what? You want to play? Fine.

Let's play, because as of now I am rejecting you.

So how do you like them apples?

Boom!

No.

Yeah, way to go, Philip! Yeah!

And Marcus, as for you and your lousy book club,

I don't even want to... No, I do. I really do.

I want to join, please. Can I?

You can join when you demonstrate you've learned something.

Alright. How hard can that be?

Who wrote "Big house?"

I want to say Snow Patrol?

Spy 01x04 Codename Book Club

- Tim Elliott. - Identified.

Useless.

The lie detector.

An invaluable tool for interrogation.

You have seen in your textbooks that for the most accurate results

you want to keep your subject absolutely calm and relaxed.

I disagree! So what is your name?

Mo-Mo-Moritz Skink.

I don't think so.

Let's try that again, shall we?

Come on, please?

- Please? - Ssshh!

Please.

What does that even mean, teach me culture?

You know books and art, and books.

And why would I want to do that?

Because you're intelligent and kind.

Uh-hum.

And I cover all your overtime.

Go on.

And it would be your chance to have

complete control over another human being.

You'd be like my Eliza Doolittle.

Right, like I'd be able to talk to animals.

Come on then, I'll do it.

- Yes! - Yes! He gets it.

So, once gain. What is the cube root of 200 and 16?

Six!

- No! - It is!

You're lying.

Come in, come in!

- Hi! - Book... Hi!

- Hi! - Hello! Hi!

Book club is upstairs.

I would join you but I'm actually busy tonight.

Yeah, right.

I am. Get.

- Hello! - What are you doing here?

Judith's meant to babysit.

- Colonic. - Right, of course. Tuesday.

- You're looking cute. - Thanks.

You smell good too. Do you mind?

Yeah.

Oh!

- Are you missing Judith? - No. Not so much.

No? Didn't think so.

Okay, I'm off. If you need anything just call me.

Will do.

- Oh, and Philip? - Yep?

Don't have sex with the furniture!

10-4.

Ma-Marcus?

Marcus, is the Wi-Fi on?

Marcus, where is the rooter?

Marcus?

Whoa!

Hey, Phil!

Marcus!

- Are you ready for this? - Yeah. It does seem a bit...

- What? - very not fun.

Oh, just give it a chance, you might enjoy it.

Yeah. I'll give it a try.

I don't think you're going to need that.

No?

Not really that kind of event.

Yeah, I just.

- Drink? - Yeah, it'd be great.

You've got to send them home, right now!

I'm still your headmaster, I cannot be associated with this!

I thought we could just take a moment.

Hey, now. Don't you try to sweet talk me.

As if I would disrespect you like that.

- I'm hurt. - Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

I just wanted to check in. See how you're doing.

How are things between you and Judith?

- Much the same. - Must be frustrating.

Oh it's, doing okay.

You're strong, that's why I admire you.

I love her so much.

Let it out big guy. You'll get about.

Do you think so, really?

Hey, Hey! Who can resist this face, huh?

Now do you have a smile for me?

Who am I like?

Oh here's a thought. Oh, no. No, forget it.

What?

No, no, you wouldn't be interested.

Marcus, tell me what is it.

I'm not interested in the tears, princess.

I want fair and square, and you know it.

Now hand over the chips.

Caching.

Everyone, your attention, please!

I would like you to welcome our newest platinum member.

Hello! I'm Philip.

We use code names, dude!

What would you like to be called?

- Are you sure? - Hell yeah!

Everyone, Cheetara.

Nice.

That's enough.

Welcome to book club, Cheetara! The first rule of book club is?

You do not talk about book club.

No!

- That would be ridiculous. - How would you get people to join?

- That's commercial suicide. - Basic marketing.

I'm so embarrassed right now.

I'm sorry, Marcus.

- There go the code names. - Oh, come on!

What is wrong with you today?

I'm sorry. It's just so much pressure.

Okay, people! Let's make some money.

You and me, let's go!

Sirens crack with a liquid spleen,

ash-burned bones velvet the unctuous ***

his heart elliptical yet complete, empties a wash with furious glee

while alone she weeps a tearless soliloquy.

Thanks.

- Wasn't that incredible? - Yeah, oh yeah! Very moving.

- Oh! I saw you. - What?

- Eyes closed. - Right.

- Listening hard. - Yeah, exactly! Listening,

with, with the ears.

Listen I really want to thank you for bringing me tonight.

I had a great time.

Me too.

What was...

- I should probably get going. - Yeah, good plan.

I'm sure Marcus is probably wondering wonder where you are.

Wouldn't bet on it.

You sure you okay getting home on your own?

I'm carrying a Snubnose 9mm, so yeah, I like my chances.

Uh hum, yep.

Alright. Good night!

Good night!

Yeah.

- See you at work! - Yeah, at work. Excellent.

Hello?

Philip?

Marcus?

And that basically is quadratic equations.

Hi, Tim!

- Is everything okay? - Marcus here, good as gold.

- How was the poetry night? - Fantastic.

- What? - Loved it.

You just give me a few more days and I'm going to be ready to join book club.

Yeah well, let's not be too hasty.

Takes more than a few days to become a literate.

Yeah, how long?

- It's hard to say. - Yeah, could be a while.

Okay.

Tim!

- Tim! - Hmm?