Wedding Unplanned (Jour J)

WEDDING UNPLANNED

These guys are all shacked up. The party sucks.

No. It's perfect.

What's that?

Proximity marketing.

It's spot-on our clientele and we paid to get in.

"You Only Have One Most Beautiful Day"? Who did this?

- Me. I think it looks pro. - If you say.

The printer's a crook!

We don't need...

I always said, beware of midgets!

The shorter the babe, the more demonic.

She's closer to hell.

Load of crap!

Do you tell your shrink that?

It's not crap!

And the prettier they are, the crazier. It's scientific.

Look here. The vertical line is the Insanity Axis.

All babes are nuts. It goes from 5 to 10.

The horizontal line is the Beauty Axis. Zero to 10.

But we don't hit on dogs, so we start at 5.

And this is the Madness Index.

You want a Beauty Rating of 5 to 8,

to reach a Madness Index of 7.

They're pretty and crazy, but within reason.

That's the "Hit Zone."

A Beauty Index above 8?

They're very beautiful but very crazy.

Actresses, strippers, girls with daddy hang-ups...

It's the "Danger Zone"!

- And pretty and not crazy? - Unicorns.

- How's that? - They don't exist.

You see, that's a 4 who thinks she's a 9.

Come on!

No, I'm good.

I'll be back.

Oh, I see.

See you later, pal.

Looking for this?

Yes. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Looks like we're from the same family.

Superman. Wonder Woman.

Actually, no. Superman's cousin is Supergirl.

Wonder Woman is an Amazon. No direct relation.

Cool. Glad to hear it.

It could've been awkward.

- This one's on me. - No, I have to go.

I'm not asking you.

- Just one. - Ok, one.

Maybe two.

Thinking of marriage? Our agency takes care of everything.

- Let me try it on. - Come here.

You're so pretty!

Hey there, you like me?

Thinking of marriage? "The Big Day" organizes everything.

That's better!

I'm not going to eat you.

I'm leaving.

Cool.

Come here, I have a secret for you.

We said one shot. One.

Relax.

- No, this is no good. - It's no good?

- Yes, it's very good but... - But what?

- There's a frog watching us. - Where?

Over here!

It was super... man.

Right, the costume.

It was wonder-ful...

woman.

You know, the costume. Wonder Woman.

I know, lousy joke.

No, it was lousy.

See you maybe?

Sure, maybe.

You don't want my number?

Yeah sure, you have a number? Of course you do.

I'll give it to you.

But only because you insist.

I even have a card.

My pleasure, Juliette.

Pleased to meet you...

Mathias. My name is Mathias.

Pleased to meet you, Mathias.

Thank you.

France Info, it's 8:45 am...

I'm fed up!

I'm not your cleaning lady!

Mom! Answer me when I talk to you!

Shit!

Mom?

- Mom! - Yes, sweetie?

What're you doing?

I was thinking.

Did you drink again?

Not at all.

I can't leave you alone one evening!

Next weekend, you'll work with me!

- What'll I do? - Anything!

Hurry, you have a 10 am appointment.

I'm ready.

First you wash up.

I told you not to bring friends home.

He's not a friend. He's a neighbor.

- He lives in the building? - Outside the building.

No.

You brought home a bum?

The poor man.

He's a sweetheart.

So I told him: "Come spend the night at my daughter's place.

- There's lots of room." - Oh yeah?

And he came. There you go.

You said that to him?

You get rid of him,

you wash up, and get to the shrink's on time.

You can stay, pet, she's gone.

THE BIG DAY

- Hi, Lucie. - Morning good, Juliette.

Some coffee to start you up?

- Why? - To boost you. Give you some pops!

I'm fine, thanks.

Her accent kills me.

This can't go on. The Durand-Martinez wedding...

- We got a honeymoon postcard. - Damn well should!

Vintage champagne upgrade: free of charge.

Ice cream cart: free.

I swear, you're so tight.

- No, I'm not. - You kidding?

You turned down a 2nd pair of glasses for 1 euro.

Our job is to find clients who pay, not make friends!

You should get laid.

- What's that got... - I'm serious.

When was the last time?

You're young, you're hot, but you want love.

What you really need is a nice hard cock...

Juliette, my son!

- What's he doing here? - Teachers' strike.

- How nice. - Yeah.

We get to babysit.

Keep playing, sweetie.

Oh, honey.

Did you get in late?

Yeah, kind of.

I bet you had an awful time with Ben.

I knew it! He insisted that you stay again.

You wanted to go, but you were stuck.

That's it.

You're too nice.

I had a great evening.

We laughed so hard with the girls. And boy did we drink!

Indecent.

I'm all puffy this morning.

No.

- You look fine. - This side.

- How are the girls? - Great.

Except poor Sarah. She has tendinitis.

At least three months without Swedish gym classes!

That's tough.

Franck is taking her to Florence for a romantic weekend as consolation.

Isn't that sweet?

Yeah, it's sweet.

- You want to go to Florence too? - I didn't say that.

It's just that we don't do much together anymore.

We just went to the Maldives and New York.

I don't mean that. I'm talking about projects as a couple.

You went "pfff."

I didn't go "pfff."

You just went "pfff."

You looked away and went "pfff."

It's like telling me I'm a pain in the ass.

Want me to take this to the cleaner's?

Sure, thanks.

Who's Juliette?

Who?

"Ju" what?

- How do you know her? - I don't know.

- Her card's in your pocket. - I don't know her.

You have her card and you don't know her?

Maybe it got there accidentally.

Accidentally? You don't say?

Accidentally? Meaning?

Be more precise.

- Like this, all by itself? - Yes.

- Mathias, be serious. - Did I write anything on it?

Nothing at all.

Unless it's on a very illegible spot. Like the tiny edges.

But no.

- So how do you know her? - Maybe it's a girl...

She's a wedding planner.

And?

She plans weddings.

Oh my God.

A wedding planner?

We're getting married?

That's why you didn't want me to see the card?

And I ruined your surprise!

Darling, yes, I do!

I do!

We're getting married!