Underdogs

- AND GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY.

WELCOME TO THE SAM BOURQUIN SHOW

ON NEWS TALK 1480, WHBC,

STARK COUNTY'S SPORTS POWERHOUSE.

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL SUMMER DAY, AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE FOOTBALL'S RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.

- DOWN IN DMSION IV, THE BIG NEWS IS THAT

SAINT THOMAS AQUINAS WELCOMES ITS NEW HEAD COACH.

VINCE DEANTONIO HAD A PROMISING COACHING CAREER

AS OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR IN THE COLLEGE RANKS

UNTIL HE ABRUPTLY RESIGNED FIVE YEARS AGO.

- NOW, IT'LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT HE CAN DO

WITH THE KNIGHTS, WHO HAVEN'T HAD A WINNING SEASON

SINCE 2004.

NOW, SENIOR QUARTERBACK BOBBY BURKETT

HAS SHOWN FLASHES OF POTENTIAL,

BUT THAT TEAM NEVER HAS CLICKED.

SET. HUT!

- COME ON, KNOW YOUR ASSIGNMENT!

- HEY, BOBBY. - YEAH?

- WHAT'S THE NEW COACH DOING WAY UP THERE?

- I DON'T KNOW, LOOKING FOR A WIN?

- I KNOW, MAN. - SOMEBODY NEEDS A FRIEND.

ALL RIGHT!

LET'S GO, GUYS, BRING IT IN.

- TAKE A KNEE. - TAKE A KNEE.

KROGER, ROOKER, FAR GOAL POST AND BACK.

LOSER GETS TO GO AGAIN AND A HUNDRED PUSH-UPS.

- OH, MAN. - MOVE IT!

TAYLOR, DAVIS, CURRIE,

BURKETT... THAT'S RIGHT.

I'VE WATCHED TAPE OF EVERY PLAY YOU MADE

OR DIDN'T MAKE IN YOUR MISERABLE CAREERS HERE AT AQUINAS.

YOUR NINE LOSSES LAST YEAR.

YOU SENIORS, FOUR-YEAR STARTERS,

YOU LOST 25 GAMES HERE.

HOW'S IT FEEL?

RUCKER! YOU QUIT ON THE WAY BACK.

YOU'RE DONE FOR THE DAY.

NEXT TIME, YOU'RE DONE FOR THE YEAR.

YOUR RECORD SAYS YOU STINK,

BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S TRUE.

I THINK YOUR HABITS STINK.

AND THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE TO FIX.

WE'LL START WITH YOUR CONDITIONING.

KROGER, GIVE ME THE GOAL POST ROOKER OWES ME.

BUT I WON, COACH.

- AND YOU WON ONE LOUSY GAME LAST YEAR.

DON'T START BRAGGING ABOUT A WIND SPRINT.

WE'RE GONNA REBUILD THIS PROGRAM.

IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY OR FUN.

- GUESS BE READY TO GO 00.

START FROM SCRATCH.

EVERYBODY HAS TO EARN THEIR JOB.

NO INCUMBENTS.

- WHAT ABOUT QB. - EVERYBODY.

- BOBBY BURKETT'S GOT A HECK OF AN ARM, COACH.

NOBODY'S JOB IS LOCKED.

COPY THAT.

- ON DEFENSE, WE USE OUR SPEED.

WE'RE GONNA GO TO A 3-5-3.

WE DON'T HAVE THE SIZE FOR ANYTHING ELSE.

- WE CAN DO THAT, BUT I HOPE YOU HAVE A PLAN

TO LIGHT UP THE SCOREBOARD.

- WE'RE GONNA OPEN UP THE PLAYBOOK.

EVEN IF BURKETT DELIVERS, WE'RE A ONE-OPTION TEAM.

NAPIER'S GREAT...

BUT I NEED ANOTHER DEEP THREAT.

WE'RE GONNA NEED TO SPREAD IT OUT

AND THROW DOWNFIELD TO BEAT THESE BIGGER TEAMS.

- WELL, THAT'S ALL WE HAVE TO WORK WITH, COACH.

- THEN I'M GONNA HAVE TO FIND US SOME MORE HORSES.

- HOLY COW, BILL, IT'S LIKE A SAUNA IN HERE.

STOP POINTING THAT THING AT ME.

IT IS AUGUST, YOU KNOW.

WILL YOUR HEATER BE JOINING US FOR DINNER AGAIN?

I-I-I KNOW IT'S AUGUST...

BUT BY MY CALCULATIONS,

IT WOULD HAVE SAVED US $400 LAST WINTER.

YOU DON'T SAY.

I STAND CORRECTED.

IT FEELS LIKE THE GARDEN OF EDEN IN HERE.

- THAT'S GOOD. - I LIKE THAT.

- I CAN BE YOUR BARGAINING DIRECTOR

WHEN YOU SELL IT TO MR. HANDON.

- THE PROBLEM IS I CAN'T PRESENT SOMETHING

FROM MY WORKSHOP, NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT IS.

AND A REAL PROTOTYPE COSTS ABOUT $30,000.

- MMM, MOM'S FAMOUS FRIED CHICKEN.

COULD SMELL IT FROM THE DRIVE.

- HEY. - HEY, DAD.

MM! NOT TILL YOU CLEAN UP.

WHAT? LOOK, I'M STARVING.

COACH DEANTONIO KEPT US FOR AN EXTRA 45 MINUTES, YOU KNOW?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HIS PROBLEM IS.

WHY IS IT SO HOT IN HERE?

WELL, GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

HE'LL GIVE UP ON THE KNIGHTS SOON ENOUGH.

YEAH, HARDY-HAR-HAR, DAD.

HELLO?

OH, HI, MR. HANDON.

YES. JUST A MINUTE, PLEASE.

YOU TELL HIM WE'RE ABOUT READY TO HAVE DINNER.

- HELLO, MR. HANDON.

BOWLING ALLEY... AGAIN.

- NO, THAT'S... I CAN... -

- NO, THAT WON'T... - YEAH...

I'LL... ALL RIGHT, WE'LL JUST SEE YOU.

GOOD-BYE.

REALLY?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DROP EVERYTHING

WHENEVER THAT MAN CALLS.

HE IS MY BOSS.

AND MAYBE HE WILL REMEMBER

THE FAVORS WHEN THE TIME COMES.

- HELLO, SIR. - HOW YOU DOING?

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- I-I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE HAVING GUESTS.

- THE DAMN PIN SETTER IS BROKEN AGAIN, BURKETT.

JOHN WAS SHOWING OFF

WITH THIS GIRL THAT HE FANCIES.

YEAH, HE TAKES AFTER THE OLD MAN.

HOW'S AQUINAS LOOKING THIS YEAR, BOBBY?

I DON'T REALLY FOLLOW D-V.

- WELL, ACTUALLY, WE'RE DMSION IV, SIR.

- RIGHT. - YOU KNOW THE WAY.

I HAVE TO GET READY FOR MY GUESTS.

- I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

JUST SAVE IT.

- VIKINGS! -

- DAD, WHAT IF I... - WHAT IF I TOLD YOU

SOMETHING THAT MIGHT, LIKE, DISAPPOINT YOU?

- YOU CAN'T, BUT GO AHEAD.

- WELL, I'M NOT SO SURE IF I WANT TO PLAY FOOTBALL THIS YEAR.

THAT'S A RELIEF.

I WAS AFRAID YOU MIGHT BE PREGNANT.

- HAND ME A 3/4. - YEAH.

- WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO PLAY?

- I DON'T KNOW. - I MEAN...

THERE JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO BE A GOOD ENOUGH REASON.

AND THE NEW COACH... TEAM STILL STINKS.

I'M JUST SICK OF LOSING.

- I'M PROUD OF YOU FOR ADMITTING IT,

ESPECIALLY IN THIS TOWN.

- YEAH. - BUT...

IF YOU'RE JUST DISCOURAGED,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SLEEP ON IT?

SEE HOW YOU FEEL AFTER.

CAN YOU PUT THESE THINGS IN THE... THING?

OR IS IT TOO TECHNICAL?

- YEAH. NO, IT'S NOT TOO TECHNICAL, DAD.

IT'S JUST YOU STUTTER EVERY TWO SECONDS.

- EASY THERE. -

- I'LL GET THE BAG. - YOU GO WASH UP.

- ARE YOU SURE YOU GOT IT? - YEAH.

- I DON'T USUALLY LIKE A RHUBARB PIE.

YOU KNOW, TO ME IT'S LIKE A FUNKY CELERY, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, WHAT IS THAT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS.

I'VE NEVER... YOU EVER SEEN A RHUBARB PLANT?

- . - BUT THIS IS REALLY,

- REALLY QUITE GOOD. - THANK YOU.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? - HOOVER'S A GREAT SCHOOL.

THEY'D BE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.

OF COURSE, THEY ALWAYS HAVE A LEAD,

SO THE OTHER TEAM'S GOTTA THROW.

YOU GET PLENTY OF CHANCES

TO BAT DOWN SOME BALLS OR, WHO KNOWS,

MAYBE YOU EVEN GET A PICK OR TWO.

WHAT?

WHAT DID I SAY?