Baby's Day Out

Boo-boo.

Couldn't we read another book?

We've read this one a hundred times.

Please?

Nanny Gilbertine is so tired of the Boo-boo book, she could just gag.

Boo-boo.

All right. All right.

"One fine and sunny day, Baby Boo's nanny Henrietta said

'Baby Boo, today you shall go on a wonderful adventure."'

"'You will see the many, many sights of the Big City."'

"After a lovely breakfast they walked down the lane to the corner,

where they boarded a big, blue bus."

"They were on their way to the Big City."

"Baby Boo felt very grown-up indeed,

for this was his first trip away from Mother and Father."

Did I tell you?

- Baby's having his picture taken this morning. - Oh. Say hello to old Willy for me.

Old Willy isn't doing it. I've hired Downtown Baby Photographers.

Darling, old Willy has been photographed Cotwell babies since the Great Depression.

Old Willy hasn't had a picture in the paper in over 20 years.

Everyone we know has had their baby's picture in the paper.

Baby Bink is almost a year old and virtually unknown.

I can't count the number of times I've been asked why we're keeping our baby a secret.

You're right.

The only way to quiet that kind of talk is to have our small-minded friends open up their newspapers

and see a photograph of the prettiest baby in the city.

- Get out! Come on! - Come on, let's go. I said move it!

Move it!

Off with the fuzzy pink and blue sweaters, nice and slow.

- Ed, does it matter which one of us wears pink or blue? - No!

Cotwell... Cotwell... Where is that little...

Dinner with the Westfalls tonight, my love. Be gorgeous.

Don't forget to do your breathing exercises as Dr Phillips suggested to reduce stress.

- I have a breathing scheduled at 11. Thank you for reminding me for a week. - Bless your soul.

Have a wonderful day.

Bing?

What did you forget?

Oh, my pen! Thank you, Andrews.

What else?

Darling, you know how I hate games in the morning.

Of course. Goodness gracious, how could I forget?

Don't you get...

Don't you get into any mischief while Dada's gone. Burble, burble.

Won't it be exciting when he can understand the wonderful things we say to him?

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

He can't look too butch, but he can't look too feminine.

He has to look angelic, like a little prince.

That would suggest blue.

Blue? Won't that look like we're trying to match his eyes? Won't that be too obvious?

I see lots of babies with blue eyes and blue outfits.

What kind of babies? Rich babies? Pretty babies?

- Regular babies? Important babies? - Regular babies.

Baby Bink is not a regular baby.

Buff, buff, buff, buff, buff.

Oh, but how shiny they're getting.

Now, now. Hold still.

Ready? Very, very handsome. Let me see.

Hello.

Get the gear.

Get the gear.

- He didn't say "Get the gear, Veeko." Come on let's go. - I'm the supervisor. You get it.

You got the blue sweater. You help me get the gear.

A most pleasant and charming good day to you, sir.

I am Mr Charlie,

photographer de babe, entirely at your service.

You were expecting us?

- Thank you. - Excuse me.

Whoa, look at this place!

Eddie.

We ain't here to nick no bric-a-brac. We're here for the hit of a lifetime.

You wanna be a shoplifter, go to JC Penney.

You think we can get away with this?

No. I'm here because I've got a wild curiosity about the electric chair.

Sorry.

What a gorgeous baby.

You must be so proud.

I'm Mrs Cotwell.

I am Mr Charlie.

Shall we begin?

Mr Francis, if you will go to the vehicle and retrieve my light meter.

I'm going to be rich.

I want individual photos of Baby Bink.

Baby Bink? What an absolutely delightful name.

- It's a pet name for Bennington. - Certainly.

I want individual photos of Baby Bink, and then I want a portrait of the two of us.

Whatever you wish, however you wish.

You photographed the children of a number of my dear friends.

Those pictures are forever appearing in newspapers and magazines.

It is true.

- His picture's never been published. - That cannot be.

It's true.

I am sure in the not-so-distant future this little fellow will be very well known.

I want your very best. I want art.

I want you to set a new standard for beauty in baby photography.

I so welcome the challenge, madame.

And, to that end, may I ask one small favor?

May I have some time alone with the child?

Oh, I need his complete attention.

The great bond between you and your son, his love for you, will distract him.

I need to study his marvelous little features, to learn how best to photograph him.

He does well with persons he is not intimate with?

Does he?

He's a friendly boy, but he may not like...

Excellent!

Madame, if I might make a suggestion.

Your garment du jour, while extremely magnificent, is so colorful,

I am afraid it will dominate the photograph

and detract from your natural beauty.

I knew this outfit was wrong. I'll be back in 15 minutes.

Take all the time you need.

If he gets cranky,

read him his book.

How invaluable.

Thank you.

Mr Andrews, get the winter wardrobe.

- But, madam... - Hurry, Gilbertine.

There you go.

Take the book.

Bink really deserves this moment in the spotlight.

It's too bad the baby pictures don't go on the front page.

- Ma'am? - Yeah?

We gotta make this fast.

I'm sorry it took so long.

Where's Bink?

Eddie?

You're a smart guy. How do you tell the front from the back on these diapers?

Are there pockets in the front?

- Very funny. The front and back are the same. - Then it probably don't make no difference.

Put him in them regular baby clothes. That fruit suit's a dead giveaway he's a rich kid.

Come on. Good boy.

Ed?

How do I know this milk won't burn the kid's throat?

If that matters.

Try it on some skin first.

What's the matter with you?

I better let it cool down.

You like that?

Eddie?

Watch the baby.

Very good. Now see if it works the other way.

It works.

Put him in the bedroom.

The more he sleeps, the less attention he draws from the neighbors.

- And keep an eye on him. - Here you go, kid.

That little doo-doo machine is my retirement money.

All right.

Nappy-nap time, little jerk.

Go to sleep real nice

cos Mr Teddy Bear over here,

he's been up all night drinking with the Barbie dolls and he needs his rest.

All right. Drink your milk.

Take your nap.

Drink your milk! Take your nap!

- Eddie! - What?

You got any suggestions how you get these things to eat and sleep?

Sing him a song.

Eddie! What else did Mary's little lamb do?

Didn't he put Humpty Dumpty back together again?

That was Nat King Cole.

Nat King Cole stuck his finger in the pie and yanked out the bird.

How can a lamb put a Humpty together again? He ain't got fingers.

Norby! Knock off the singin' and read him his storybook.

If you can.

Wanna hear a story?

Let's see here. What do we got here?

"Nanny...

and Baby Boo...

strolled...

through...

the great big...

de...

de...

- department. ...department store."

"How many, many things there were to buy."

Or steal, if I was writin' that book.

Or steal, if I was writin' this book.

Mrs Cotwell? Dale Grissom, FBI.

I'd like to ask you a few questions.

You'll have to ask me later.

- I'm going to look for my baby. - I'd rather you didn't. I need you here.

- Don't coddle me, Mr Grissom. - Mrs Cotwell,

there are five million people in this city and many places where your boy could be.

It would be pointless and dangerous for you to go out searching for your baby.

I've been through a number of these cases. I understand how you feel.

Have you ever lost a child?

No, ma'am.

Then you can't possibly know how I feel.

I apologize. But would you stay here, please?

For your baby's sake.

Do you gotta do that?

I like to look nice.

You gotta spit?

I don't know about you, but I don't eat pieces of my body.

What?

- What did I do? - You spit on me.

- I did not! - Somebody did,

and you're the only one in the room.

You jerk!

What? No, no. Quiet.

- You're gonna wake up the baby. - The baby's on the roof!