Keep It Up Downstairs

Are you Cockshute Towers?

Cockshute Towers, if you please.

All the same to me.

Heidi.

Pfft.

Heidi, come on.

Oh!

Morning.

- Oh! - Oh!

Morning, Mrs. B.

- Ah! - Oh!

Ruined!

You, Mrs. B, what a memory.

You stupid girl,

What you want to go screaming like that for?

Sorry Mrs. Burgess,

Somebody pinched my.

Rogers, you cheeky devil.

Will you just stop cluttering up my kitchen

And 'urry on upstairs.

Mr. Hampton'll be waiting

and you know how particular he is

to have things just right at breakfast.

Now come on, off with you, I said off!

Go on, you two, off

And Polly, you can give me a hand with these trays.

Hampton here.

Mrs. Burgess here.

Ah, Mrs. Burgess, good morning.

Breakfast on it way up.

Yes, thank you very much.

You're late, Rogers.

I beg your pardon, Mr. Hampton.

Maud.

Sorry Mr. Hampton.

So you should be.

Ah, Mimi.

Good morning, Monsieur Hampton.

Very nice, my dear, very nice.

Are you sure you can manage that?

Oh, I'm used of carrying heavy things, Monsieur Hampton.

Can you manage a paper, too?

Oh, just put it on top, Monsieur Hampton.

Ha ha.

Oh, what a place to have the times.

Good morning, milady!

A beautiful day.

The sun's in the sky,

And Lord Cockshute is in his bath.

Oh, breakfast.

I really feel like it this morning.

Good to start the day on something hot.

I do agree.

A roll, perhaps?

Exactly, Hampton.

Always my pleasure to serve, milady.

I've instructed the staff to be less wasteful

When polishing the floors and furniture, milady.

Our special preparation of linseed oil

must be reserved

For only the most delicate pieces.

It is very important that every area is covered.

Each little crevice must be attended to

Using the fingers to rub gently into the corners.

I have instructed

That all cushions be shaken and plumped up.

That the curtains should be hung out and aired

And all the carpets well rushed and beaten.

Running a place like this

Does need a strong hand in the right place.

You're so thoughtful, Hampton.

I try to keep the staff up to the mark.

It's so difficult though,

When one sets high standards.

They are apt to fall just when you want them to rise

but I trust, milady,

you will never have cause to complain

Of any lack of effort on my part.

Never, Hampton.

Oh, milord.

How you should expect I should help you

When you always take off my.

Oh, milord.

Oh, you're so strong.

You want to hurt Mimi, to cause hurt?

Oh, no, no, no,

I mean yes, yes!

Oh. - Oh, please milord, not now.

When?

If you behave yourself,

I shall come undress you tonight.

Oh, jolly good.

- See you later. - Yes!

Oh dear.

Oh, tripes.

Oh, where's the wife?

Sorry to bother you, my dear.

Just can't find this stud.

Can't seem to,

it always falls out

just when I think I've got it in.

Oh I know.

Allow me, milord.

Oh, thank you, Hampton.

Nothing ever seems to go right

when you're in a hurry.

You in a hurry, Randy,

whatever for?

Point with the lawyers, my dear.

Oh, tiresome business,

all about the estate.

There you are, milord.

Ah, thank you, Hampton.

See you at luncheon, my dear.

Hampton.

Gorgeous beast.

Ah, it's in perfect condition as always.

I believe you.

Well, it only needs the right touch, you know.

Not many people have it, Rogers.

You're fortunate.

Thank you, milady.

Ah, it's a regular piece of strapping.

That works wonders.

You must show me how you do it, Rogers.

Later.

Your Lordship.

Your Lordship?

Oh, sir, you've done it again.

Not quite.

I'm talking about your breakfast,

You haven't touched a thing.

Can I help you?

Yes, yes, my notes.

Thanks.

Mrs. Burgess will be ever so upset

If I take the tray back like this.

You must eat something.

No, I can't stop, Maud,

I'm just getting to a vital part.

Look, why don't I give you your food

While you go on working?

Thanks, Maud,

you're a good girl

With you, how can I be anything else?

Funny stuff, this cow chew.

It's kedgeree, actually.

- What? - Your breakfast, kedgeree.

Mrs. Burgess special.

I was referring to this.

It's gotta be caught at just the right temperature.

I tell you, it's a little discovery of mine,

this India rubber solution in here,

I found that by adding minute amounts of acids,

you can stretch it until it's so fine

You can hardly feel it.

Good heavens.

Well, what's it for?

Well, even though it's so fine,

it's completely waterproof

So you see, it will be invaluable as a cover for--

Yes?

I really shouldn't be talking to you like this.

Well stand up then,

Otherwise your epiglottis will have a seizure.

It's something I'm making for Lady Cockshute,

it's a secret.

Now you mustn't breathe a word of this to anyone,

you understand?

Oh yes, your Lordship, I promise.

You all right down there, Master Peregrine?

Yes thank you, Mellons.

- Oh. - Ah!

Right, come here.

- Oh. - Ah!

Oh!

If you stop struggling,

I'll show you a thing or two.

If I stop struggling,

I can show you a thing--

Oh!

Oh, Rogers.

Here, what was that?

What's that?

Oh, Rogers.

Oh you rotten thing, you.

And what have we here?

Rogers, give me back my blouse,

What are you doing, you're taking all my clothes off.

Rogers!

Oh.

Rogers.

Oh hello, Mr. Hampton.