Fosse/Verdon

- You see, the trouble is is that we all live

in a happy ending culture.

A "what should be" culture instead of

a "what is" culture.

We're all taught that fantasy.

But if we were taught "this is what is,"

I think we'd be less screwed up.

- No, no, get me out of the close-up.

Why are we in the close-up here?

- You said the medium made you want to puke.

- Well, I must say, now I'm actually puking, Alan,

so clearly it's gone from bad to worse

and I'm still in the close-up.

- We'll fix it. - Maybe we just cut it.

- But it's one of his best speeches.

Because she didn't stay!

- Should have just played the part myself.

- Fuck it, man! She didn't stay!

People don't stay.

No, people don't stay.

- Uh, your phone's off the hook.

- That's on purpose.

Oh, yes, just come in.

Turn him off, please.

I scheduled a quick meeting. - All right.

I'll get some fresh air. - No, no, no, get me the wide.

What's the next thing on the list?

Uh, looking for it.

- We've been calling and calling

and nobody knew which floor you were on,

so we've been knocking on every door

like a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses.

- Put the phone back, please! - No, leave the phone.

Leave the phone off.

Those schmucks from the studio are gonna call.

Okay, so let's talk artwork.

Everything they brought us was magnificent.

You know the team over there.

We've narrowed it down

to these...three, four, five.

- Uh, the credits are all comped in for now,

so ignore those. - Hello?

I know which one I like,

and it's the same as John and Freddy.

- All right, I think this will work.

- Bob, it's David Picker. - What'd I tell you?

This--this fucking studio.

This is why the phone has to stay off the hook.

- What do you think about the fans?

- I've almost got this up, Bob. - He says it's urgent.

- Want me to play it once it's up?

- We have to get a final design to the printer

a week from yesterday. - What do you want me

to say, Bob?

Bob.

- Guy walks into a doctor's office.

Have you heard this one?

Guy walks in and says,

"Doc, I think I'm under too much pressure.

"The wife, the kids, work.

It's too much."

Doctor says, "What makes you think that?"

Guy says, "Well, I sat on the toilet the other day

and a 10-karat diamond shot out of my ass."

I've been under some pressure myself, recently.

Truth be told, in fact, I'm under so much pressure

I'm worried I might start losing my hair.

I just finished directing a picture called "Lenny."

The film's the story of Lenny Bruce, comedian.

Never got the recognition he deserved--

drug addict, adulterer.

Shit father, shit husband.

Boy, oh, boy.

If I could only relate to this guy.

What do you call an eight-week movie shoot

turns into a six-month movie shoot?

A Bob Fosse picture.

See, there's that pressure.

My girlfriend complains,

"You don't spend time with me anymore."

I say, "We spend all sorts of time together."

"It's not the same as it used to be," she says.

"You're always distracted."

What does everyone expect? I got a lot on my plate.

Brand-new musical to make out of thin air.

You think producers are a pain in the ass, try composers.

You criticize one note,

they act like you're the asshole who poisoned Mozart.

Try writers.

You don't say everything they do is fabulous

they melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Criticize one word, they look at you

the way Ethel Rosenberg looked at her executioner.

Hurt.

But if you want to make a show, the actors need words to say.

The singers need notes to sing.

And you're stuck needing writers.

It's a racket.

Oh, and have I mentioned

who the star of said musical happens to be?

A star whose contract gives her approval

over every aspect of the production

from the lyrics to the set

to the casting to the...

You guessed it, the God damn poster design.

And it builds.

The pressure, it builds and it builds...

this pressure, builds and builds.

- You see, the trouble is is that we all live

in a "happy ending" culture.

Where does it all go?

A "what should be" culture

instead of a "what is" culture.

- But if we were taught "this is what is"...

This is what is.

Oh!

Oh!

Stop!

I'll call him back in 20.

Start me in the scene before. I wanna see the whole sequence.

That one's not bad. - Bob, he says that he's--

- I don't care what he says. - We all love this one.

We think it's fun. We think it's sexy.

Good, it's your show.

- All right, you heard the man. Wrap it up.

Last section.

Stop. - That one?

Head trim right there.

He said he'd be done

editing in August.

- This movie's been a nightmare from the word go.

- Rehearsal starts in three days.

- Has he had time to even think about the show?

- Well, he's been working on it all summer.

What, once a week?

- Listen, once he gets into that rehearsal room,

"Chicago" is all that he's going to be thinking about.

Speaking of rehearsal rooms-- now, here's an idea:

wouldn't it be clever if we had some press in

for the first week?

"Bob Fosse and Gwen Verdon Reunited."

Now that's a story.

- You see, the trouble is is that we all live

in a "happy ending" culture.

A "what should be" culture

instead of a "what is" culture.

We're all taught that fantasy.

But if we were taught "this is what is--"

"This is what is."

"This is what is..."

I think we'd be less screwed up.

This is what is.

Oh, Nicole, that smell.

Oh, it's just like I've walked

into a bistro in Florence.

- I think it needs more salt.

- Okay, well, let me try. Let me try.

Mm.

Uh, just the teensy, eensiest little bit.

Uh, when did you put in the pasta?

I don't remember.

Oh, well, that's not good.

- Figured white for fish, huh? - Darling, be careful!

We're going to test the pasta. - Ooh!

You could just taste it, you know.

That's what most people do.

- And what would be the fun in that?

- It's ready. - It's ready!

Okay, so, uh, why don't you go set the table?

We're going to eat in the dining room tonight.

China's laid out, silverware's laid out.

It's a special occasion. First rehearsal tomorrow.

- Yeah. You nervous?

No, why would I be nervous?

I'm in the best shape of my life.

I know you are.

- I--I mean, I'm not 22 years old anymore,

but as long as Bob understands that...

I'm sure he will.

Yes, Bob's famous for his empathy.

Yeah.

Well, if he doesn't, screw him.

You know, don't, uh, screw him, actually.

I think he'd like that too much.

Stop.

- It doesn't matter what he thinks.

He gives you any trouble...

you just pull out your contract.

You just hang it up on the wall.

You say, "Anybody's got any questions

"about who's in charge of this rehearsal room,

it's all right there..." - Stop.

- "In black and white." - Stop.

- You are gonna be so fantastic in this show.

People are gonna line up for miles

just to buy tickets to see you back on Broadway,

singing and dancing.

Yeah.

You're gonna be amazing.

I beat you.