My Life as a Zucchini (Ma vie de Courgette)

My.Life.As.A.Zucchini.2016. Enjoy the movie. Cheers!

Liar!

They're all liars!

Liar!

What's going on?

Zucchini!

Zucchini, answer when Mom calls you!

Yes, Mom.

And who will clean up after you? Mom!

Zucchini!

I didn't do it on purpose!

I'm sorry!

What am I going to do with you?

You're going to get the spanking of your life!

- No, please Mom, no! -You're gonna feel it!

No!

MY LIFE AS A ZUCCHINI

How old are you, son?

Nine.

Was your mom nice to you?

She... She drank a lot of beer.

But she made good mashed potatoes

and sometimes we had fun together.

Yes...

And other times not.

OK... Where's your father?

Here...

And there's my dad's chick.

Mom always said he liked chicks very much.

Alright...

Listen, I'm taking you to a place

with other children like you.

Who have no dad and no mom.

But I have a mom!

Your mom is gone, Icare.

My name's Zucchini!

Zucchini...

Did your mom call you that?

I’m Raymond.

Did your mom call you that?

Shall we fly your kite?

Come on, boy!

Hello, Sir.

Hello, Madam.

This is Icare.

But I think he'd rather be called Zucchini.

Zucchini?

This is what his mom called him

and I think it's important for him.

Isn't that right, son? Come on...

Welcome to the Fontaines...

...Zucchini

Don't worry, you'll be fine here.

I’ll come and visit you.

- Goodbye, Madam. - Goodbye, Sir.

Will you come with us?

Rosy will show you your room.

Here's a big drawer for all your things.

Look!

I'll let you do it, and this is your bed.

Is everything alright?

OK, put your things away and I'll be waiting in the hall.

Good morning, Ma'am!

Children, this is your new friend, Icare.

- Zucchini. -Yes uh, sorry...

Your new friend, Zucchini.

- I'd say potato, with that head. - Simon, that's enough!

Quiet! Quiet, children!

Well, uh... I'm off!

- See you later, Mr. Paul. - See you later.

Sit down, son.

Let's continue!

So, as I was telling you, the cow is a ruminant.

Which means that it ruminates.

It eats the grass the first time

without chewing, so it regurgitates in its stomach

and then quietly chews it.

So children, we don't know exactly why the animal developed this...

Welcome to prison, potato!

Oooooh, things will get very hot for potato!

It's really roomy in there after all that digging.

Stop it, Simon!

Move over!

So, potato, why are you here?

Tell us.

Come on, tell us!

Why did they bring you here?

Wait, those are potatos on your plate!

You're a potato who eats potatos?

Isn't that a bit weird? Hey guys, potato's a cannibal!

That's enough, Simon!

Your parents threw you out! Because your parents didn't want you anymore.

A rotten potato!

Into the rubbish dump!

Won't you cut it out?

Shut up, big trap!

Hey guys, look! Alice is in vibrator mode.

Look at you with your bandages!

Rosy put them on because I had a headache!

That's enough of you and your fork!

Anyway, I'll find out why you're here.

I’ll find out!

Yet another moron!

Come on, it's time!

In your dormitory!

Night-night, boys. Sweet dreams.

Tonight, straight to bed, boys!

Zucchini is already asleep.

Ahmed, have you peed yet?

Uh... I think so!

-Think so, or know so? - I... think so.

You're completely nuts, man!

Yeah, totally nuts!

- Ahmed, the girlie who wets his bed! -That's enough!

- Come on! - He hit me!

Shush! Kisses all round, then lights out.

- Night-night. -Thanks!

See you tomorrow!

ls the potato asleep?

No, the potato's not sleeping.

And it won't sleep all night.

It's gone really high!

Come on, let me try, please!

Wow, look how it flies!

Leave that!

Oh yeah? And what will you do if I don't leave it?

Will you take out your magic wand, Harry Potato?

Harry Potato, rubbish!

Fight, fight, fight!

Beat him up!

Kung Fu Zucchini!

Don't you ever touch my kite again, get it?

No, no I don't get it.

If you touch my stuff once again, I'll break your arm.

Wow, ace Zucchini!

-That's too much! -This guy is too strong...

Well we were quietly playing football, and he arrived from behind

and jumped on me.

Zucchini? You're not saying anything?

I want to go home, to my mom.

Leave us a minute, Simon, will you?

It's impossible, Zucchini.

Your mom's gone, she's in heaven.

But you'll be fine here.

I promise!

Hey, potato!

Zucchini!

My parents took drugs.

Both of them.

All the time.

So I was brought here.

You don't want to tell me why you're here?

I can tell you about all the others.

I know their case histories by heart.

D'you see Bea? Well, her mother was deported.

She was sent back to Africa while Bea was at school.

Jujube, his mother spends her time opening and closing the fridge.

Click clack, click clack, all the time.

Or she starts scrubbing the toilets for weeks.

She's completely nuts.

Come on, I'm here! Shoot!

Ahmed's father, well, he held up a store.

Can you imagine, a holdup?

In a service mall, to buy him sneakers.

Do you want me to go and get Rosy?

Alice, her father, he used to do creepy things to her, disgusting stuff.

I'm not quite sure what...

And Alice, she used to have nightmares every night.

He's in jail now.

Well I think I killed my mom.

But I didn't mean to.

I didn't do it on purpose.

We're all the same.

There's nobody left to love us.

Well... In the morning we get up...

And Ahmed, he's peed in his bed again.

And then we wash.

Except Simon, because Simon always pretends he washes.

Jujube, he eats the toothpaste.

Because his mom, she told him it'd be good for his health.

This is the orangutan.

The gorilla.

At school, Mr. Paul tells us the story of the people who were here before us.

They lived when soap didn't exist.

And then, they never showered.

Like Simon!

Sir!

And then Jujube asks to go to the infirmary.

Because of the toothpaste.

And in the meantime, we play Cro-Magnon.

Alright, very good. It sounds like fun.

Yeah, it's fun.

What's the matter, son?

It won't be as nice when you stop coming.

You think I come because I have to?

I don't know, it's your job.

Well no, it's not my job. I come to see you because I like you.

I like you too.

They don't like cops, I think.

Particularly Ahmed, he thinks you sent his father to jail.