The Killer Inside Me

name of Joyce Lakeland.

Lives about four or five miles out on Derrick Road

past the old Branch place.

- Oh, I know the old Branch place.

She a hustlin' lady, Bob?

Well, I guess so,

but she's-she's been pretty decent about it.

She ain't taken on no roustabouts

or nothin' like that.

ln fact,

if these preachers around town weren't rompin' down on me,

I wouldn't bother her at all.

Well, how shall I handle it?

Tell her to lay off awhile or...

- Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

Just go out and size her up and make your own decision.

I know you'll be gentle,

as gentle and pleasant as you can be.

So go on out there, see how she looks to ya.

All right.

Thanks, Bob.

Mornin' Miss Parker.

- Oh, hello. - Mornin', ma'am.

The trouble with growing up in a small town

is everybody thinks they know who you are.

I was born here 29 years ago.

And Central City was small enough

that my father was the onIy doctor in town.

Then the oiI boom came,

and the town grew to fit its name.

The sheriff's office handles the policing

for both the city and the county.

We do a pretty good job of it, to our own way of thinkin'.

We're kind of old-fashioned.

Out here, you say, "Yes, ma'am, " and "No, ma'am, "

to anything with a skirt on.

Out here, if you catch a man with his pants down,

you apologize,

even if you have to arrest him afterwards.

Out here, you're a man and a gentleman,

or you aren't anything at all.

And God help you if you're not.

Yes?

I'm sorry, ma'am, uh...

Oome on in.

You go on back.

I just need to wash up.

What do you think you're doing with that?

Sheriff's office, ma'am.

What are you doing with it?

I have a permit.

Are you satisfied, copper?

Well, I reckon it's all right.

And my name's Ford, ma'am, not Oopper.

Jesus.

The only decent-looking guy I've seen in this stink hole

and he's a boy scout with a badge.

How much?

I don't jazz cops.

That's not very polite, ma'am.

I just came out here for a little talk.

- And I asked you what you wanted.

- Well, I guess I want you out of Oentral Oity by sundown.

And if I see you here after that...

I'm gonna run you in for prostitution.

You lousy son of a bitch.

Don't you call me that, ma'am.

You lousy son of a bitch!

You son of a bitch, bastard, pimp!

Get off me!

Get off me!

Let go of me, you bastard!

Get off me!

You bastard son of a bitch!

I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry. - no.

Don't say you're sorry.

I went back the next day and the day after that.

I couIdn't help it.

It was like a wind had been turned on a dying fire.

- Let's pull out of this crummy old town together,

just you and me.

What, are you crazy?

Go on.

Let me hear you say it.

Oh, no.

Go on.

Tell me what a fine of family y'all Fords is.

We all Fords, ma'am.

We wouldn't even think of living with one of you

miserable of whores, ma'am.

Don't.

- You think you're too good for me.

Don't start that.

You do.

I'll never give you up.

never.

And if you think you're too good for me now,

I'll make it so you won't be.

- Oh, baby, you got your bowels in an uproar all over nothin'.

I was just thinkin' about the money.

I can get money.

Oh, yeah?

- He's crazy about me, and he's dumb as hell.

I'm sorry?

Who's crazy about you and dumb as hell?

Elmer Oonway.

You know who he is, don't ya?

- I knew EImer Conway well enough.

We'd been in the same cIass together at school.

Aw, he wasn't a bad man.

He'd just been spoiled.

Spoiled by his father, Chester Conway.

Chester had buiIt half of Central City,

and he acted like he owned the town,

and nobody had the guts to tell him any different.

Joyce was a fool to think she couId put one over

on old man Conway.

But her pIan started me thinking about

how I couId settle some old scores of my own.

You want a refill, hon?

no, I've got to go.

All right.

So you're a deputy sheriff?

You don't even carry a gun.

no, I don't.

- What if some crook should try to shoot ya?

Well, I'll tell you a secret.

We don't have too many crooks in Oentral Oity.

That's good to know.

I started needling people.

I couIdn't help it.

I guess it was a substitute for somethin' else.

Thank you, Max. - You don't have to pay.

I want to thank you for what you've done for my Johnnie.

no one else would've done what you did.

Thank you very much, Max.

I appreciate that.

It's made a big difference.

- You know, I figure that you don't get any more out of life

than what you put into it.

You're right there, Lou.

- Yeah. Well, I'm gonna push off.

I got a whole lot of gettin' around to do,

and I don't want to rush.

Haste makes waste.

- Evenin'. - Evenin'.

Hey, how 'bout it, bud?

How 'bout it?

Look, I've been on a hell of a binge,

and, by God, if I don't get some food in me pretty soon,

I'm just gonna keel over here, you know?

- ls that right? - Yeah.

- need somethin' to warm you up, huh?

Oh, anything.

Just anything at all.

Yeah.

Ah!

Jesus, bud!

Ouch. Oigar.

- What the hell are you tryin' to do with that, huh?

See that?

That's a real-life sheriff's badge.

- Sure. - Beat it.

Sure, bud.

Sure, sure, I'm goin'.

I'm goin'.

You better watch it with that stuff, bud.

You think so?

You just better watch it.

Hello, Lou.

- Joe. - Welcome.

Oome on in.

Sorry to ask you to come around so late.

Figure it's better to be discreet,

you being a public official and all.

Have a seat.

It is hot out there, huh?

What can I do for you?