The Orville

I guess what I'm having a little bit of trouble with here

is how you could have done something like this

in the first place.

I mean, please, help me understand

what was going through your minds at the time.

We weren't paying attention.

And I know I speak for us both when I say that

if I had it to do over again, I would absolutely

do things differently.

I would be much more aware.

Because you got caught, or because you feel ashamed?

I feel ashamed.

I'm ashamed of my behavior,

and I am deeply, deeply sorry.

Yeah, we were all gonna go to kylynn's after work,

if you want to come.

Me, too.

I mean, you can invite her, if you want.

I'm just kind of over her right now.

Well, she's just been kind of like

a really bad friend to all our other friends, you know?

I mean, she got 15 downvotes last week,

so that tells you something.

That's about all the time we have for Lewis and tom,

so, please, don't forget to cast your votes now.

You have the breakfast show on?

Yeah, but I missed the first part... what did they do?

- ...or Sincere. - Mm.

That one guy has really weird eyes.

Mm, I don't know, he just seems kind of shady.

Yeah, I was gonna wear the blue one,

but then I totally forgot I let jessala borrow it,

and now she's out of town.

I know, right? Bitch.

She is so getting a downvote when she gets back.

Hey! Hey!

Final vote has begun.

Man, it does look a lot like earth.

In more ways than one.

With all the different planets in the galaxy,

you're bound to have a few cases of parallel species development.

Sargas four is an acute example of this phenomenon.

Union cultural anthropologists believe it bears

remarkable similarities to your 21st century earth.

So, like, I could go down there

and get, like, a manwich?

Nobody's going down there except the landing team.

How long have the researchers been unaccounted for?

Over a month.

Their last report indicated they'd had

some success integrating into the culture.

They even sent back some really interesting images.

And then, suddenly, nothing.

Radio silence.

Could just be equipment malfunction.

- Communications failure. - Maybe.

I'm gonna go check on the landing team.

- Bortus, you have the conn. - Aye, sir.

This is ridiculous, man.

How the hell is anybody supposed to walk around in these things?

I don't know, John, I think you look good in skinny jeans.

If I wanted to scratch my balls right now,

I would have to reach in my back pocket.

Yeah, well, at least your pants are whole.

Commander, I look ridiculous.

You want to go down there with that forehead?

Well, no, but...

Okay, let's see what else is in the file.

We don't have a lot of specific information on this society.

Traditional sargas four headwear, various styles.

Here.

There you go. That's better.

John, what do you think?

I dig it. I like the whole thing.

If Andy got a look at you right now,

he'd be kickin' himself for dumpin' you.

I dumped him, let's be clear about that.

My god, you guys look like unemployed backup dancers.

You want to lead this landing party?

No, I'm too shy to wear a crop top.

Don't forget this.

Sargas four is a capitalist culture.

What is it?

- It's money. - What do you do with it?

You give it to people, and they give you stuff,

- or they do stuff. - That's weird.

There's gonna be a lot of weird surprises down there,

so everyone's gonna have to stay alert.

Claire... I'm sure Lewis is fine.

It's probably just faulty communications.

I appreciate that, captain.

Lewis and I worked together a long time ago,

but I always remember him being very resourceful.

I know he's okay.

All right.

Now, remember, you go in,

you locate the anthropologists, you bring 'em back.

You leave as tiny a footprint as you can on that society.

No interference.

If, god forbid, something's happened to our people,

you get out of there fast, you report back here. Understood?

- Okay. - All right, good luck.

Oh, and, alara,

do something about that nose, will you?

Aye, sir.

Why are you sitting like that?

It's these friggin' jeans.

If I leaned back right now, I'd give myself a vasectomy.

Engage cloak.

Engaging cloak.

Hey, jerris. Good to see you back.

Oh, thanks, man.

I think that was probably the worst flu I ever had.

Well, hey, looks like you lost a few pounds.

You know, I'll take it.

Oh, look at that.

How nice is your grandma, huh?

How much does she love you?

Thank you, grandma.

Oh, you are so welcome, dear one.

What do you give to grandma?

- Thank you, honey. - Aw, good girl.

That's it.

- Oh! - Watch it, dude!

I'm really sorry. I wasn't looking.

Look at this place.

My god, it's incredible how similar it is to old earth.

Yeah, maybe there's a "bustin jieber"

walkin' around somewhere.

Grayson to Orville.

Orville here.

- You reading me? - Loud and clear.

Good. We'll stay on this frequency and contact you

when we have an update. Grayson out.

All right, here you go.

Have a good day.

- Hi. Yeah, hi. - Can I help you?

We were wondering, if by any chance, you've seen

either of these two men.

What's this, a joke?

No, it's not.

Do you know them?

Yeah, I know who they are.

Do you know where we can find them?

Well, they used to hang out at the cafe up the street.

Hey, where are your badges?

We're not police officers, if that's what you're asking.

Well, you sure as hell are gonna get arrested

without your badges.

Mine broke, so I figured I'd wait

for the new version to come out.

Actually, we lost them.

I can sell you a set of four,

all pre-loaded with 200,000 upvotes.

That's... that's great, thanks.

They're all odd numbers, with a couple of downvotes included,

so it doesn't seem fake.

40 lods.

- I'm sorry? - Come on!

- The money. - Oh. Oh, right. Sorry.

Um...

- Now, about the two men. - Go on,

get the hell outta here... You want to get me busted?

Come on, let's go check out the cafe.

What are these things?

I don't know, but everybody's wearing 'em.

Look around you.

Hey, alara,

maybe you can find a guy here, huh?

Brand-new planet, nobody knows your dating history.

What the hell does that mean?

Nothin'. It's just that you've gone through

two guys in two months.

Well, I told you, it's just really hard to find a guy

who doesn't get insecure about my abilities.

Is that the only reason you dumped Andy?

Mostly, but also...

He danced weird.

- What? - Weird how?

Too grindy.

A little grindy can be good.

Yeah, but this was really grindy.

Wait, what's-what's too grindy?

Right, like, is-is this too grindy?

What the hell are you doing?

Is this too grindy

or not grindy enough?

- Lieutenant, stop it. - This is it, right?

Huh? This is that goldilocks grind.

Where the grind is just right.

Lieutenant, knock it off right now. That's an order.

All right, all right. I was just trying to help out.

What part of inconspicuous don't you understand?

There's the cafe, come on.

And there's great concern about the level of contamination

due to industrial waste in the south madaka reservoir.

But you can't deny facts. 74% of the population

has voted that assessment false.

I mean, facts are facts.

Have a nice day.