Sorority Sister Killer

Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug,

chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug,

chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!

Just a minute.

She jumped!

Oh my god, she jumped!

I rushed out the bathroom.

Everybody was freaking out.

So I just...

I followed the screaming.

And then I saw her.

Thank you.

Tell us about what happened on the roof, Lacey.

I just did.

We'd like to hear it again.

We'll get back to the roof, but,

why don't we go a little further back?

I wanna hear your story, in your own words

from the beginning of this whole thing.

Okay, I'll tell you everything.

Tara's parents were overseas for the summer

so it was just my mom

who was moving us into our dorm.

We both made it into the engineering program,

it's just kind of,

it just seemed like fate.

We were so excited.

Oh, this is so exciting, girls!

Yup, sure is!

Oh, I love this place.

You know, I did dorms my first year too.

Well, first semester anyway.

Second semester-

kappa tau pi house, yeah mom, we know.

Did I mention that already?

Once or twice, Ms. W.

Hey, what did I say about that?

Sorry.

Britney.

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Good, 'cause you're 18 now.

And do you see a ring on this hand?

No, and the only Mrs. W I know

is my former mother-in-law.

And the least we say about here, the better, right?

Yeah, you're right,

you're right. - Yeah, right, right.

She's right, yeah. - Yes, good answer.

Get your stuff.

Noted.

Okay.

Let's go

Okay.

So over here to your left is the common area.

There's a pool table and ping pong,

and all these cute fellows.

Oh, you!

You are gonna love your new room.

Here we are.

Wait, this is huge.

This is very large.

Yes?

I wanna see the rooms!

Do you like it?

What a view, right? - Mhmm.

Good?

Okay.

Okay girls, who gets which room?

Let's just say which one we both want

at the count of three.

Okay.

Good, one, two, three.

This one. - That one.

Ah! - Ugh!

I knew.

Roshambo.

Let's go, let's do this. - No.

You take it, you take it.

That's not fair.

Yes, I changed my mind.

I love this side.

It's very me.

Are you sure?

Yes.

That is so sweet of you, Tara.

It's the small kindnesses that matter most.

That's very sweet of you, mom.

Oh, speaking of small kindnesses, what is this?

What is that?

What are those flowers?

I don't know!

Mom, did you? - They're so pretty.

I don't know. - What?

Oh, so nice.

Ah!

What's this?

Who is the fairest of them all,

the answer lies on yonder wall.

Is this a riddle?

You know anything about this?

No, gosh, don't look at me.

Hmm.

Yeah, it's definitely a riddle.

Fairest of them all, snow white?

Snow white, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who is the fairest, oh!

The wicked queen asks the questions to the

Mirror!

The mirror, okay. - Mirror.

Where's the mirror?

Look on the walls.

Oh!(cheering) - Oh, okay!

You do it.

Should I?

Okay, maybe take it off the wall?

Okay.

Oh, turn it around, turn it around.

Okay?

It's so fun.

The both of you are fair as can be,

that much is perfectly clear.

Oh!

Now seek the place you'll share with other maidens

not far, it's near.

Where is that?

Bathroom, the bathroom?

The bathroom! - The bathroom?

Maybe, I don't know.

Where's the bathroom?

Okay! - I don't know

where the bathroom is.

You gotta find it. - Ooh, this is nice.

What?

We're getting warmer. - You're getting warmer.

Yes!

Maybe warmer like hotter?

Hot water?

Very clever.

Hey, oh, yes!

That's the spirit, you're almost there.

Now venture further out to the parlor if you dare.

Mmm, I don't remember anything as fancy as a parlor.

It's gotta be in the common room.

Common room!

Yes, okay! - Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Yes, okay! - I don't know, I don't know,

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

You are about the type.

I know, I can't, I need like help.

Oh!

Surprise!

Let's go!

Hey! - Hi!

Hi. - Hi, I'm Katy.

Nice to meet you.

Lacey, look at you.

You're all grown up and absolutely stunning.

Your hair is to die for.

Thanks, this is my best friend.

Oh, Tara.

What?

I've done my research.

I am kappa president after all.

Oh, you guys should know my little sis Ella

from Harrison high, right?

She is all grown up too

and a cute little freshman now just like you two.

Of course.

What's up, Ella?

So are you guys totally surprised?

Well, yeah!

Honey, you had no idea how hard it was for me

to keep my mouth shut.

Well, I actually know exactly how hard it is

to get you to shut up.

I'm just kidding.

Lana, hi! (Laughing)

Lacey, welcome to college.

Hell, welcome to womanhood.

Oh, and you too, Tara.

Thank you.

Dramatic much, mother?

I'm sorry. - I'm Lana.

And I'm mother to these two right here.

And I'm mother hen to the rest of these beauties

all right here.

She means she's the house mother.

Mother hen is her being cute.

That's my Ella.

She's too cool for school.

Mom.

Oh, Britney is on the alumni board with me.

We oversee the girls

and make sure they're living up to the high kappa standards.

Speaking of high standards.

Help yourselves.

Help yourselves.

Ooh, I don't mind if I do!

Alcohol?