American Justice

This is LA 1-6 in pursuit of a robbery suspect.

East of Crenshaw and Slauson Boulevard.

Whoo!

This cop can kiss my ass!

Jack, I think I can do a pin on this guy

if I can get a little closer.

Man, just hold it steady.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not a good idea, big guy.

I said hold it steady!

He's pullin' out a gun, TJ.

Well, pull yours, Bobo.

Got his butt

Get out of the vehicle!

They're not in there.

Just let the lady go.

Shut up!

Hey, punks! Give it up.

Surrender right now, nobody have to die.

Please don't let him hurt me.

Shut up.

Ain't nobody gonna hurt you, ma'am.

Hey, what do you know? Sshh.

- Maybe I'll just kill her for the fun of it. - No.

Nobody gonna hurt you, because he's a coward.

I'm a what?

Hey, are you stupid or just crazy?

You want me to kill her?

Like I said before,

he's a bitch-ass coward.

Justice, you're not making this any easier.

Justice...

is that your name?

You were born to be a pig, huh?

Guess I was.

Well, put down your guns

and walk my fine ass out of here.

You know we can't do that, man.

Just let the lady go

and make this easier on yourself.

Shut up!

I got... I got control here.

You want me to shoot you too?

Like he said, partner...

put the gun down.

You too, put it down.

There you go.

Slide it over.

Yeah, Bobo!

Whoo! We got this guy!

Man.

Open the door.

You're crazy.

Don't make me shoot you, man.

Stop, just stop right there,

I'm gonna, I don't wanna' shoot you man.

Jack! Jack!

- Jack, Jack, Jack. - That's enough.

What the fuck are you doin'?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You cannot take the law into your own fucking hands.

I can't keep cleaning up your shit.

I'm suspending you.

I want you to go away, go far fucking away.

I'll clean this shit up.

I'm telling you, he sounded like a little girl.

It was pathetic.

So I told him to shut the hell up.

"They're all over me."

I'm thinking he's snake-bit

or he walked into a hornet's nest.

No, a squirrel had run up his pant leg.

"The varmint was going for my nuts!" - His peanuts.

Good day, gentlemen.

Now it's a good day.

What was so funny?

Wouldn't you like to know?

We were just talking about nuts.

You like nuts, Alexa?

I work with you guys, don't I?

Them ain't the type of nuts

we're talking about, Alexa darling.

Alexa darling?

Why doesn't anybody ever say "Boyd darling"?

Boyd, I believe you're half homo.

Uh, no.

Total faggot.

Yeah, I'm about 30 away.

I was so scared.

And all the stuff I see on TV didn't help.

I told you not to be watching that stuff.

Santana, you're driving me crazy.

Well, no need to worry. I'm almost home.

Hey, I have a surprise for you.

I don't care about that.

Just get home.

And you shouldn't be video-chatting while driving.

You got to be kidding me.

Baby, hold on.

What? Wait. I need to tell you something.

Oh, you motherfuckers.

If you're not working on a case,

you need to get your asses out into the field

and write some tickets.

Let's go.

You got anything for me, Hannah?

- I sure do. - Oh, thank you.

At least somebody's doing their job around here.

Hey, where are Clark and Holtz?

They're on the old road, Santana's due in today.

Get out.

How come they're out on the old road?

You're supposed to be out on the old road.

Nothing? And what is with your hair?

I told you to get it cut.

After the rodeo, Sheriff.

It gets me laid.

Where's Stuckey?

He's in the can.

How come your badge is on the wrong side?

It's supposed to be over there.

McCain lost his.

- Sheriff, can I have a minute with you? - What?

Yeah.

File that.

We got shit to do, Boyd.

Yeah.

Hey!

When am I gonna get my phone call?

I told you, later.

Sheriff, man, this guy ain't gonna give me the phone.

You won't give him the phone.

Make your damn phone call.

What the hell is it, Boyd? What do you want?

I'm a busy man.

Sir, it's about this piece of shit bonus.

For everything we're bringing in,

it ought be more, a lot more.

Oh, is that right?

Yes, sir.

It ought to be a lot more.

Believe so-

Let me tell you something.

You are damn lucky that I'm not a violent man.

Now you happen to be the worst of my bunch.

Don't make me sorry you're here.

Okay?

Do we have an issue?

No. No issue.

Good, good to hear.

What do you want?

The Mayor's here to see you.

Thank you.

Go.

You need to give the prisoners their phone call.

Yes, sir.

What?

Don't give me that look.

Don't fuck this up, Boyd.

Whatever.

Mayor Dorsey, you wanted to see me. What's up?

We've got a situation here. That's what's up.

Huh. - There's just a few days away from the festival starting.

I can't have happening this year what we had last year.

Can you remind me what that was?

Posts!

We got more horses coming into town than we have posts

to tie them to, we can't have that.

Posts?

Posts.

Don't you worry about it, I'm on it.

Reid?

Get your ass down to the festival and make sure

we have twice as many posts as we did last year.

Why don't you put Boyd on that?

Why don't you get your ass down to the festival

and make sure we have twice as many posts

as we did last year?

- Okay. - Posts.

Good.

Is there anything else?

Well, hey there, Santana.

Long time no see.

Officers.

You been across the border, Santana?

No.

Coming from Dallas.

- Dallas? - Yeah.

Well, Dallas is north of here

and you're headed north.

You know what I think?

I think our friend here did come from the border.

He brought back some party favors

that he don't want to share with his amigos.

Looks like we have a piñata of interest.

Just candy.

Well, I like candy.

Candy is good.

Ho-ho.

Hello, party favors.