Too Late the Hero

Yes, sir, I'll give Capt. Nolan your message soon as he returns.

Get him now.

- Yes, sir. - Do you hear me?

Get him now!

Oh, boy.

He's pretty burned up, isn't he?

The old man wants to see you, right away.

Oh, God, that's all I need.

Good luck.

Come in.

- Excuse me, sir. - Whas happened?

That was Admiral Dawes on the radio, sir.

- I mean, it was Admiral Dawes personally. - So?

I told him what you told me, sir...

that you weren't in, and we were still looking for Lt. Lawson.

- And? - And that didn't seem to satisfy him, sir.

It doesn't satisfy me, either. What about Lawson?

- He's nowhere on the base, sir. - Look off the base.

Send out the Shore Patrol. Bring him in, I don't care where he is.

Yes, sir. We've done that, sir.

If you've done that, there's nothing else to tell me, is there?

No, sir, nothing else.

I just thought you'd like to know what was going on.

Lt. Lawson!

If you're heading for the P.X., get us some more beer.

Anybody seen Lt. Lawson?

- Sam, where you going? - I thought I'd have me a little grub.

- Wanna come? - No, I ate already.

There he is!

Lt. Lawson!

Capt. Nolan wants to see you right away, sir.

- Who, me? - That's right, Lieutenant.

Please, sir. Get in.

Yeah, I'll get in.

- What does he wanna see me about? - I don't know, sir.

See you tonight, girls. First come, first served.

You can draw straws.

Here we are, sir.

- Keep the meter running, boys. - Yes, sir.

- The old man wanna see me? - Boy, does he wanna see you.

- Yes, sir. - Hi, John.

Whas all the excitement?

They said you were looking for me. Is that right?

By the way...

how'd you make out with that funny broad at the club last night?

I was under the impression that the funny broad was with you.

Hell, I brought her, but she really liked you. That's why I left.

I wouldn't wanna appear ungallant...

but I think I'd just as soon do without your assistance in that direction.

That's nice. I thought I was doing you a favor.

Anyway, whas all the panic? I was just getting ready to eat.

I have a job for you.

What, before I go on leave?

Yes, before you go on leave.

All right, as long as I'm on that midday plane tomorrow.

Very gracious of you, but ill take a little longer than that.

Can't, John. I got a four-weeks' leave coming.

- Later. - Later nothing.

High noon tomorrow, I'm on that plane. I'm gonna be in Frisco Sunday night.

We're flying you out of here this afternoon.

You'll be in the New Hebrides Sunday night.

The New Hebrides?

I've your orders here.

You'll report to a British Combat Unit on one of the islands.

They need someone who speaks Japanese.

Combat Unit? Whas that?

What the hell is that?

First you talk about postponing my leave, now you're talking about combat?

There are three other officers in the radio section.

Two of them speak better Japanese than me.

- They are all a lot older than you. - That's good, they're mature.

But who picked on me?

I did. And is not a question of picking on you.

The British are organizing this for us...

and is gonna involve a certain amount of physical hardship.

We have to supply the man. In my opinion, you're the man for the job.

No, John, negative.

Pick Antonelli, he likes all that military crap. Not me, no.

I'm sending you, Lieutenant.

"Lieutenant"? I'm Sam, don't you remember?

Sit down.

- Don't be... - Sit down, Lieutenant.

I have to comply with an instruction from higher authority.

A lot higher.

In order to do that, I'm obliged to make do with the best possible personnel I have.

I know you're a long way from being right for the job...

but only you begin to meet the physical requirements.

Fortunately, they don't appear to be concerned about much else.

So pack your things and report to the Transportation Officer in 25 minutes.

You mentioned a Combat Unit.

I guess that means a bunch of limeys running around...

playing soldier, getting shot at, right?

You may not remember this or you may not be aware of it...

but I volunteered for the service because as a language specialist...

I was gonna get a bar on my shoulder and be able to sit by a radio...

and eavesdrop on those fiendish Orientals.

If they're gonna change those rules...

I just might have to resign that commission.

That's your privilege.

And if I do...

you'll have to send another officer.

Right?

The order specifies "Japanese-speaking personnel."

If you resign your commission, the Navy would be happy to accept it...

and send you out there as a Seaman Second Class.

Would you like me to arrange that for you right now?

Yes, sir?

- I can't win, can I? - No, you can't.

Incidentally, this operation is something the British are mounting for our benefit...

so it wouldn't hurt to show them courtesy.

- Courtesy? - That's right.

You'll get along better if you don't call them "limeys." That kind of thing.

I don't care whether I get along with them or not.

Listen, you miserable bastard, I'm not interested in your problems.

We lost two PT boats yesterday not 2 miles from that bay down there.

I have to spend the rest of this day writing to folks back in the States.

"Dear Mrs. Smith, a funny thing happened to your boy last night. He got burnt up."

What shall I tell them? "Too bad your kid couldn't be a bit smarter.

"If he spoke Japanese, we could've gotten him a job sitting on his ass.

"When this mission comes along, he'd say, 'Not me, buddy.'"

Go on, get out of here. I don't have time for you.

From what I hear, the British won't have time for your selfish...

I hope they get your goddamn head shot off for you.

I'm sure we'll get along just fine, sir.

They're gonna love him.

Come on, scram!

- Toss it up, sir. - You guys aren't in a hurry, are you?

You know something? I don't think that clown's happy in the service.

Ain't it the living truth. That bum wouldn't be happy anywhere.

Let's go.

Okay, back it in.

That's it.

A little to the left.

Hi.

- Boat's waiting, sir. - What boat?

There's your boat, Lieutenant.

Thanks a whole lot.

Have a nice trip, Lieutenant.

Left, left, left, right, left!

Makes me a bloody foolish sight. That's what.

Right, left! Keep those arms up.

Water's hard enough to come by.

Wash out those water barrels! Get them off my square!

Keep those arms free, keep those heads up!

Go and get that man in the rear or I'll keep dragging you all day!

Get those water barrels off my square!

Okay, bookie's off the course. No more bets.

Ready, set, go!

Connolly.

Your bleeding horse is being left at the post.

That's not fair, Tosh!

Why not?

My jockey's only using his whip, ain't he?

If your bloke doesn't wake his bloody ideas up...

you're gonna owe me two packets of fags.

He's right, Connolly.

Even you can run faster than that pig.

All the same, it isn't fair.

Away and pick your nose, you mooning Mary!

But it isn't fair, Campbell. Look at that!

Objection! Stewards inquiry!

Gentlemen, objection sustained! This bloody horse has been doped.

What the hell do you think you're playing at?

Don't argue with the steward, laddie. I've a mind to report you to the Jockey Club.

Leave him be. I think his brains have come loose.

Yeah, you better watch it, Thornton.

All right, let's have you!

Cpl. McLean, get those men fell in.

Scott, right marker here.

One straight line, come on.

- Corporal. - Sir.

Away and find Pvts. Rogers, Currie, Rafferty, and Pvt. Riddle.

Whas up then, Sarge?

Nothing to worry you.

- Good morning, sir! - Howdy.

Commanding Officer apologizes. He would have greeted you personally.

- Is okay. - He's just come back from a reconnaissance.

Col. Thompson is waiting, sir. If you'll come with me.

- If you'll come with me, sir. - Right.

I'm excused duties, Sergeant.

Is that right?

Listen, laddie, we've had your stripes.

You make it necessary, and I will personally crucify you.

You're on that list because I put you there myself.

If you want a personal interview, you can have it.

And you'll likely find yourself facing a court-martial...

for self-inflicted wounds.

Do you hear me all right, laddie?

Yes, Sergeant.

Tosh, whas that then?

Is a bleeding Yank, isn't it?

No, Connolly, that's not a Yank.

That's Snow White.

And very pretty she is, too.

All right!

You've got bugger all to laugh about.

- You there, Hearne! - Sir.

You're supposed to be standing to attention!

This way, sir!

Col. Thompson will join you in a moment, sir.