The Secret Life of the American Teenager

...On the Secret life of American Tennger. You wanna help me out?

Then I'll just be a teenage mother enabler.

Mom, you're gaining weight. You're tired all the time.

How could you be pregnant at your age?

I don't mind if my dad dates.

I just don't see her as stepmother material.

Jack and I are having sex for the first time.

You can't keep jack just by having sex with him.

You're absolutely sure that the vasectomy worked, right?

I feel stronger than I ever have.

We just had sex.

Marshall's dead.

We're gonna have a baby. Yep.

I got you this.

It's beautiful.

I was wondering what you would think if I asked your mother

if the three of us got a house together.

Really? We could move to a house?

How would you like to go to Italy this summer? To Bologna?

What would I do there? Work at your uncle's hotel.

I don't want you to have sex with any other guys.

Will you marry me?

I feel a little funny about giving you a car...

What is this, some kind of a bribe?

If that's the way you want to look

at a brand-spanking-new SUV.

I'm Griffin. You want to have lunch with me?

You make it sound as if it's a date.

I'm gay.

I think that's my baby, Anne.

Yeah, I think it is, too. I love you.

Did you see Madison a lot last summer?

It was nothing. We just had a few meetings of the Dead Parents Club.

So we're getting a brother? Yep. It's a boy.

I'm never gonna have sex again with you.

You know I care about you. I love you, Adrian.

I met someone. A guy.

Jeff, this is my son Tom. You're the boyfriend?

Hey, uh, when do you think you might be coming here?

It's my new house. I live in a house now.

I wanna have sex. What are we supposed to do, Jack?

Oral sex.

Aren't you afraid that one day

Amy will move away and take John with her?

I don't guess there's anything I can do but follow her.

The baby is coming right now! George!

I'm gonna have to deliver this baby.

And you think you'll lose her

if your friend from Italy comes over here.

What do you wanna name him? I was thinking maybe your dad.

Robert Scott Juergens.

I take it Jack went home? Yeah, he went home.

I'm breaking up with him.

Whose boy are you?

She's coming here? Now? Yeah.

Her dad has a business trip planned,

and she wants to come with him to see me.

Did you ask her to come with him so that Amy would break up with you?

No, she's a friend. She's just a friend.

So you didn't even have to ask her to come here now to break you up with Amy?

No, she just decided to come now.

I told her to come in the summer. In the summer.

I was over there in the summer,

so I thought that she should come here in the summer.

I thought that she and Amy could hang out with me in the summer

just like I hung out with her and her friends in the summer.

Not the same. That was your platonic girlfriend you hung out with?

Did you tell her that Amy is your platonic friend?

No, I did not. I just said that she was my girlfriend.

Was. Not is. Was! What else did you tell her?

I told her not to come. I swear.

She said if she came here now with her dad, maybe I could go back there this summer.

Maybe you could go back to Bologna in the summer?

Of course you can go back to Bologna next summer

if you have no reason to be here next summer.

I feel sick to my stomach. You've felt sick to your stomach for a couple of months.

So get it over with. If you're gonna break up with her, break up with her already.

I can't. I-- I just can't.

Do it! And do it yourself.

Don't let Amy break up with you because your Italian girlfriend is showing up.

Break up with her because you don't want to be with her anymore,

because that's the honest and manly thing to do.

If you love her, if you ever loved her, break up with her.

You waited this long. Just let it play out.

You think so? Yeah, I do.

Hank!

That's me. I gotta go.

Hi.

Hi.

What?

What are you up to? Up to?

Yeah. Up to. We can tell you're up to something.

What? No, I'm not up to anything.

Amy may be too busy to notice, but we're not.

Notice what? That you're thinner

and paler and "nervousier."

That's not even a word. You're supposed to be a wordsmith, Madison.

Speaking of which, I gotta get to English class.

You've got time to talk to us.

Talk to us. Are you trying to break up with Amy?

What would make you say that?

Because you didn't say,

"No, I most certainly am not trying to break up with Amy."

You said, "What would make you say that?"

Which makes us think that you are.

And I'll tell you something, sausage prince.

Our Amy's been through hell. Through hell, I tell you.

And you are not gonna break up with her. Not now, not ever!

The only way that you are ever, ever getting out

of this relationship is if she wants out.

Yeah. If she wants out. And she doesn't want out.

What is going on here?

Who said that I was gonna?

Oh, God.

Better be the swine flu.

Even if it isn't, he's a pig.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And we gotta keep that pig in our sights

until we know what he's up to.

Yeah. We owe that to Amy.

Do we have to go home?

Well, you missed two days of school already.

Well, I brought my books. I'm studying.

My grades are a lot better this year.

I love, love, love getting away with you.

Just us and the babies. It's been so nice.

This place is great. You can smell the ocean from here.

Please, Mom? Let's stay. Maybe we shouldn't have lied.

We had to. There's no "I can't deal with my life" holiday for moms and daughters.

Amy-- Mom, as soon as we leave here,

we're gonna have to go back to our regular lives.

You're gonna have to take care of Mimsy,

and I'm gonna have to go back to school.

Just one more day.

*Falling in love Is such an easy thing to do*

* Birds can do it We can do it*

- Let's stop talking Let's get to it *

"Let's fall in love "

What's going on?

Nothing. I'm not, uh-- I'm not feeling well.

I think I may go home. No, that's not it.

I beg your pardon? Are you breaking up with Amy?

That's between Amy and me. So you are.

I don't know.

But I can't talk to you about this.

If I talk to anyone, it's gotta be Amy.

I'm begging you, don't do it.

What?

The gene for red hair is recessive.

Wait. Repeat that part.

The gene for red hair-- it's recessive.

Recessive, huh? Yeah.

Is Amy's mother's hair really red, or does she just color it red?

Um, I think it's really red. Why?

Oh, nothing.

Something.

No. Nothing.

But did you ever meet her boyfriend?

No, I didn't. Why?

Come over after school.

Again, why?

Because we haven't had any time to hang out together.

Because you haven't spent more than five minutes away from Ricky lately.

It's not what you think.

Oh. Yeah. Sure.

It's not sex. It's not.

What, you just suddenly enjoy spending time together?

No, not suddenly. We've always enjoyed spending time together.

I always enjoyed spending time with Jack until we started having sex.

You had sex once. And a half.

Okay, wait. Once and a half?

You know what I mean. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I know what you mean, girlfriend.

Look, I just--

I just don't think you gave it a chance.

So you and Ricky... The two of you...

We do.

Both of you? Yes, both of us.

I just think it's unnatural.

Okay. Each to his own.

But...

Well, maybe Jack was just not experienced at it.

Do you know he's not experienced at it,

or are you guessing he's not experienced at it?

I'm guessing.

Hey, private conversation here.

Geez.

Maybe I'm no good at it.

Because it was me, not Jack.

I was just gonna do it because it was,

you know, not a good time to have sex.

Wait. So he didn't...

No, he-- he didn't.

Okay.

Uh...

Okay, look,

no one is not good at sex.

You know, there's not really a good and a bad sex.

It's just, uh, it did make you feel good,

or it didn't make you feel good.

Or it's right for you, or it's wrong for you.