Weird Science

The Drug Lord's behind the limo.

- Frag him. - Back off.

I am the law.

Oh, yeah! Gun shot! Gun shot!

Wounded!

Finish him off!

Kill! Kill!

Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!

I, uh, I think we were ready for a time-out anyway.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Uh, sorry.

Looks like we found our power problem.

It's my magic detector. I'm hunting genies.

Hunting genies? - This scanner detects magic

and teleports the source to that transporter pad.

This isn't going to make us sterile, is it?

Like it matters.

Why the sudden push to find another genie?

Think of the billions of computers in the world.

Chances are, there's got to be another genie out there somewhere.

I can't be completely alone in the world.

You're not alone, you got us.

But you guys have got family-- People who are like you.

What do I have?

Barbara Eden and a big fat blue guy who talks like Robin Williams.

The truth is out there.

Guys, I got signals.

Is it Genie?

The magic detectors are jumping like fleas on a griddle.

As soon as I get the sleep boogers out of my eyes somebody's going to die.

Stand back, Chett. I've got magic readings of the Yin-Yang.

: Who dares disturb the Genie of the Lamp?

Uh... hi.

My name's Lisa. I'm the one who brought you here.

- You're not mad, are you? - : Mad? Ha.

What man could display anger in the presence of such breathtaking loveliness?

May I, Lisa?

- Good opening line. - Very smooth.

Seen better.

Name's Chett Donnelly.

What handle do you go by, balloon pants?

My name is Gene and I apologize if it lacks the sly wit of "balloon pants".

And do you dress yourself, Gene or does your master pick your clothes?

Not anymore.

Well, that's much better.

You can forget the Alamo and crush that putrid yellow rose

because I'm finally free of that Demented Texas Hobgoblin.

Who?

My current master discovered me in 1956

and spirited me away to Texas.

Believe me, that's no place for a civilized magical creature.

Nothing but cows, dust and mentally unbalanced football fans.

How can I ever repay you for breaking me out?

You don't have to.

I've always dreamed of meeting someone like me.

You mean to say you're a genie as well?

- Damn skippy. -

- Shall we? - Shall we what?

I'm dying for a decent martini preferably in a bar

that doesn't serve ribs and suds.

Corral your longhorn, pal.

With your sparkly pixic magic and expect Lisa to go off with you.

Later.

Have her back by 11:00.

# Home, home one on the range #

# Where the deer and the antelope play... #

Unbelievable. There's no escape it.

- Think you can do better? - Ooh, a challenge.

# ...all day #

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and welcome ot the Yum-Yum Room.

My name is Gene.

My first number tonight is for a special little lady who's change my life.

A girl who's from his part of town.

# There's a girl ini this harbor town #

# And she works laying whisky down #

# They say Lisa, fetch another round #

# She serves them whiskey and wine #

# The sailors say, Lisa, you're a fine girl #

# Hoo-- what a good wife you would be #

# Your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea #

# What a good wife you would be #

# But my life, my love and my lady #

# Is the sea #

# Whoo-whoo-whoo #

# You're a fine girl #

# Such a fine girl... #

To the most beautiful lady genie I've ever met.

Your radiance shames the stars.

How many lady genies have you met?

Well, I stopped counting around 4,000.

- Are you jealous? - Curious.

- Hmm. - I've had a wonderful time

but you know, you haven't answered any of my questions.

I want you to tell me everything.

What, and rob you of the pleasure of discovery?

Come on, please?

Where do genies come from? Is there a lot of us?

Is there like a secret club, or something?

Lisa, there's magic everywhere.

It's down there with the mortals it's up here with us.

We mustn't squander our precious time together.

Who knows how long it will be before my masters comes looking for me.

My masters are pretty cool.

I mean, Gary and Wyatt ask for goofy things but we're equals.

They love me.

Now, the other one this Chett... Should I be jealous?

Well, he and I sort of... we almost...

- Uh-huh. - We did kiss once but... well, you know,

- he's Chett. -

I smell hot cheese.

Sorry. Must have followed me in.

- Hey! Hey! Fondue! - Don't be think about it, pus barge.

But I love fondue.

Exactly. It's delicious and fun to make.

That's why there's no way Lisa will be able to resist.

So far, Timmy the Turban has been kicking my butt

in the romance department but after tonight

there's going to be a new sheriff in love gulch.

Get real.

What could you possibly do that would lure Lisa away from Gene.

- He has fondue. - Cheese and meat.

And if the seductive power of fondue fails to do the trick

I've rented her favorite movie.

Howard the Duck? Maybe you do have a shot.

And the topper the time-honored symbol of man's undying affection

the chick's name carved permanently into wood.

Tell me this doesn't scream a commitment.

- It will never work. - Even with the fondue?

You better pray it does work.

Why would Lisa hang with you flank spankers

when Gene "the Magnificent" is taking her hip-hopping on rings of Saturn?

Unless I give her a reason to stay...

It's good-bye genie.

- She loves cheddar. - Make it sharp.

- Hey, guys. - Alaska rocks.

It's bigger than Texas, there's more oil

and they don't give and Armadillo's Patootie about Emmitt Smith.

And we learned this neat trick.

- Eskino kiss. - Eskino kiss.

That sound like an adventure.

You must be ready for a night in. I've got fundue and Howard the Duck.

- I love fundue. - Well, everyone loves fundue.

- but, uh, Lisa and I have plans. - Gene's taking me back

to the dawn of creation so we can watch the Big Bang Together.

Oh.

You're tanking. Go with the plaque.

- Uh, Lisa... - Oh, before we go

you guys have got to see what Gene made me.

He carved it himself.

He's so good with his hands.

How nice for him.

Give it up, little man.

She is way out of your league.

A little visit to Gene's home away from home.

Oh.