The Dead Want Women

("Lover Come Back To Me" by Annette Hanshaw)

Ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming to this

momentous gallery event.

Everyone looks so dashing as ever.

A new film has opened to rave reviews,

and it is certainly destined to break

all previous box office notices.

And as we are all aware

this film which we celebrate tonight

would be nothing if it weren't for its star

our lovely hostess this evening.

("Lover Come Back To Me" by Annette Hanshaw)

This may as well be a wake.

That picture is practically belly up.

What do you mean?

The talk about the talkies, toots.

There's a new game in town and it ain't Rose.

It's pictures with sound.

Sure she's gorgeous and all,

but nobody wants to hear what's coming out of her pie hole

just like all dames.

Hush up you.

And so without further ado

it is my great pleasure to introduce to you

our guest of honor and lovely hostess

who has so graciously opened her home

to us this evening

to hail this joyful occasion.

You know her as the brightest

and most lovely and captivating siren of the silver screen.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the eternally beautiful

Ms. Rose Pettigrew.

You look beautiful.

Can I have an autograph?

Not now darling.

Beautiful necklace.

It's very expensive,

and there isn't another one like it.

Roses for Rose,

the most beautiful of them all,

but I wonder how this one smells up close.

Lovely.

Rose, Rose one moment.

That'll make a swell pic.

There we go.

Yes, we got it.

Gentlemen, I must see to my other guests.

Don't miss me too much.

Looks like she's got some bigger fish to fry, huh Bob?

Boys, that's the thorniest Rose I've ever met.

Hello, boys.

Hi ya, Rosy.

Howdy, ma'am.

Rose (snarling).

My, my, my you fellas sure do know

how to make a girl feel welcomed.

Get rid of those awful things will you darling?

This is some hootenanny you have here, Ms. Rose.

Yeah, this is some swinging to do.

Just a little soiree to celebrate the film

and my new pending contract with the studio.

Norman's taking care of all the details.

When are we gonna really celebrate?

Patience, boys,

all in good time.

Hey, hey.

Speaking of the devil.

Here comes that pip squeak now.

Rose, Rose, Rose we have to talk.

Not now, Norman.

Don't be such a ninny.

But, Rose, we must talk.

I have very important news.

I think you heard the lady

she said run along little doggy.

With all respect, sirs

this matter of business doesn't pertain to you.

Alright soldiers stand down.

I can handle this.

Thank you, Rose,

Ms. Pettigrew.

Ms. Pettigrew, I apologize for the intrusion,

but this absolutely could not wait.

I just talked with the lawyer.

Lawyers, phooey.

I will have no speak of lawyers on this night.

It's a party, Norman,

have a drink or how ever many it takes to loosen you up.

Whatever it is will wait until tomorrow.

But, Rose

there is no tomorrow.

Well,

here we are.

You didn't start without me did you?

We wouldn't think of not waiting on such a

good looking woman like yourself.

'Bout time ya made it.

Yeah, 'cause now we can really get this party started.

Here we go.

And now your special treat for your big day.

Get on the table.

Boys, they're perfect.

You always know what I like.

Only the best for you, Rosy.

Works for me.

I want this one.

That's good. I'll take this one.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I'm a big fat cowboy.

Yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Excuse me have you seen Ms. Pettigrew?

She must've bailed on this lousy spread.

Rose.

Rose.

Rose.

Yee-haw, yeah.

Yeah, not bad huh?

Not bad, huh?

You little cunt.

You fucking bit me.

Oh, my.

Why you little cow pie.

I ought a blow your ass...

Sonny, no.

Stand down.

What is the meaning of this?

Norman.

Ms. Pettigrew, I...

Sorry I had no idea you were in the middle of...

Spit it out.

Hey, you heard the lady spit it out.

This I...

Ms. Pettigrew, I must speak with you.

Rose, it's extremely urgent.

I think this conversation is best held in private.

There's nothing you can't say in front of my boys.

Out with it or else.

I just got word from the studio.

The film is a bomb.

That's it.

That's why you interrupted me.

Not exactly there's more unfortunately.

They tested the new talky with audiences and...

No one cares about that the talkies.

It's a fade.

No, no, no the audience loved it.

The talky is the future.

The future is the talky.