The Feeling of Being Watched

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Um...

I must have been 16.

And I remember like, waking up at 3:00 a.m.

and seeing a light outside.

I got up and I looked outside,

and there were two men on the telephone pole.

And they were doing something on the wires,

and there were lights shining on them.

And it was really strange to see it at 3:00 a.m.

So I freaked out, I went across the hall

to my mom's room.

And I woke her up, and I-- and I was like,

"Mom, there are these two guys outside on the wire

"and they're putting something--

"they're installing something at 3:00 a.m.,

and maybe we should call the police."

I was really upset and disturbed,

and my mom was like, "Girl, you know, it's okay.

"Calm down, it's not a big deal.

It's probably just the FBI, go back to sleep."

So just, you know, don't m-- don't--

don't pat it too much.

Can you tell me about that time

the FBI came to the door in 1999?

Was in...

like, few months after your dad pass away.

And someone came running,

said that someone is here asking for you.

I went to the door, I found already

people inside my house by the door.

Who? Two-- two--

it was like three-- three, I think.

It was three men with the black suit.

I recognize them, it was FBI, of course.

You said they sat here for one hour.

What did you talk about for one hour?

You know, you don't know them.

How they-- the same question,

you don't answer, they will say another one,

and they enter the oth-- the third one, the fou--

they make you-- they make you-- they make you confused.

You start just saying stuff, oh, they will pick.

"How about this name?"

"This one, he was my-- my husband's friend."

"How is your relation with them? Ah, talk about him."

You know that, what they call it,

they put like, a micropho-- or how would you call it?

Bug.Bug, exactly.

Each morning, I would come and look under my table.

The next day, I would say, "Maybe I didn't see it.

I have to check again."

I would just look, said "no."

And the kids start, "Mom, stop do--"

I said, "No, I think

it's so small that I couldn't see it."

How did you know the times where maybe

you were just being paranoid

and the times where really something wa--

No, excuse me, because everyone in the community was saying,

"They came, they came, they came, they came."

So if we wanna go and talk to some people...Mm-hmm.

...in the neighborhood who have stories,

who should we go to?Many, honey.

Maybe these neighbors.

All of them, they received these people.

So...

Everyone has... Yeah, yeah.

All right, here we go.

My least favorite thing about journalism was...

like, an MOS, "man on street,"

where you just have to like, find people and ask the--

like, I would dread doing that,

and this feels a lot like that.

Bridgeview is a really tight-knit neighborhood.

Everybody knows everybody else.

All of our dads are friends from the mosque,

and all the moms are always looking out

for each others' kids.

...so we decided we need to d--

No, she's not.

Oh, okay. Well, we're doing a documentary

about the neighborhood and all the surveillance

that's happened here, asking people about

things that they saw and things that they witnessed

over the years, and so...

A lot of people in my neighborhood

have stories about being watched.

But most of them are afraid to talk out loud about it,

especially when there's a camera around.

We got some bread.

But no interview.

Well, there are two cars in the driveway.

Kinda feel like it's another way of saying "no."

Come this way.

If you can get an angle.

A little bit more. Little bit more.

Yeah, right there.

And that damn car is always just parked right there.

It's like how you see in the movies.

Like those pizza vans that are just sitting,

staked out in front of your house.

When you pass the van by, like, they'd pull up...

Newspaper....a book or a magazine,

or act like they're not in the car.

Like, we can see you.

They put a camera at the corner.

So they watch all the area.

I saw a car stop right next to garbage container,

and they're going through it.

Now I said to her, "Maybe they are homeless."

But darn, homeless doesn't

drive good Dodge van, no spot on it.

First time we saw a car parked

was the fall of 1990.

Every time I went for the groceries, I saw the car.

I went and drop off the kids, I saw the car.

And we kind of thought that our house was bugged too,

that somebody was looking into our house all the time.

When my kids were small,

you know, they said, "Oh, it was the bomb."

You know? Like that was the really cool thing.

That was like the big word, and we couldn't use it.

And I had to tell my kids "no."

Almost like a swear word, "you don't say that."

You feel like someone's

just invading your life, you know?

I have a feeling that there is a camera,

there is something watching.

And you don't feel free, you don't feel safe.

I don't remember how it felt

to just know that I'm free in my home.

"This is my home, it's just ours."

I don't have that feeling.

It's become to the point where I would call

the neighbor across the street if a car's parked over there

and you say, "Do you have a visitor

that owns a car like that?"Mm-hmm.

Isn't that terrible?

It's crazy.

Do you think you're paranoid?

No, no, no.

No, I'm not. I'm not, not at all.

No, I just think e-- everything is--

it's happening, it's going on

and it's-- it's real life.

It's not an imagination, it's not paranoia.

Mm-mm.

You should know that I'm a journalist.

I have a master's degree and years of experience

working in public radio.

Like my neighbors, I too have seen the cars

parked down the street.

I have censored myself on the phone

and whispered things in public places.

It all started in '97 when I was 12.

I had two best friends, Dee and Emma.

Our fathers were really close, and we spent our childhood

going to picnics, listening to R&B,

and riding our bikes after school.

At the same time, Dee and Emma's dads

were being investigated by the FBI.

The government accused their fathers

of supporting terrorist activity.

In court, all of the terrorism charges

were dismissed, but they were convicted

of white-collar crimes.

Emma's dad took a plea to lobbying without a license

and spent five years under house arrest,

and Dee's dad was convicted of mail fraud

and spent four years in prison.

After serving their time, they both continued

to get visits from the FBI.

Their families were regularly interrogated while traveling,

and eventually tired of living

with this constant harassment and fear.

Both fathers moved out of the country

and their families were split up.

Stories like this were not uncommon in my neighborhood.

And even though not a single person

in my community has ever been convicted

of anything related to terrorism,

we still feel like we're being watched.

My best friends' lives were turned inside out

by what happened to them.

And since then, I have lived in fear

of the day we would be next.

That they would come for me, for my family.

I need to understand why the FBI

was targeting my community, and try to figure out

whether it's still happening today.

Wrong way.

There it is.

"Bridgeview mosque leaders

"have been under surveillance for years;

indictments may be forthcoming."

"The FBI has had problems going into the mosque.

"During the week, they have people out on the corners