American Dad!

Well, it's official,

the golden age of television has begun.

"Step Brothers" is on every channel.

Help! Roger's trying to give me the bubonic plague!

There. You're breaking two rules...

No weaponized plagues in the house

and no running on the stairs.

But if Steve isn't dying, the Make-A-Wish Foundation

won't let us meet The Weeknd.

What? You want to meet Saturday and Sunday?

No! The Weeknd is a singer!

It's true, Stan.

Listen to his hit song, "Starboy"!

I'm tryna put you in the worst mood,

Look at us.

Dancing, grooving, feeling it.

Also, The Weeknd's hot.

He's number one on my freebie list.

Those are the celebrities she's allowed to bone.

It's a long list, so number one is sayin' something.

He better drop six octaves if he wants to be on my radar.

And this, Roger.

This is one of the good syringes for company.

You know the rules! You have a rule for everything!

Because you need them. You can't control yourself.

I'll have you know, I had a salad for lunch.

Does that sound like someone

who can't control themselves?

Hey, Roger, it's me,

Bobby from Grubhub!

I got two full trays of meatballs

and a meatball sub, extra meatballs.

The note says, "Put a rush on it, I can't control myself."

Jesus Christ, Bobby.

This part's great.

Good morning, U.S.A.

I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day

The sun in the sky has a smile on his face

And he's shinin' a salute to the American race

Boy, it's swell to say

Good... Good morning, U.S.A.

Good morning, U.S.A.

As you probably don't know,

I've been reading Alec Baldwin's book on parenting.

Go, Dad!

In it, Baldwin explains

a term called "teachable moments."

And that's why you kidnapped this guy?

Ya nailed it, babe.

The Weeknd!

Where am I?

You're in a teachable moment, my man.

Okay. Dope.

You're really here!

At our dinner table!

You could sneeze, and your boogers would land on my food!

- Bro. - Mister The Weeknd,

My God, I am literally your biggest fan.

Parties, drugs, supermodels.

You've inspired me to hate my boring life.

You've turned me against my family.

Thank you.

And how did this miracle happen, Roger?

Not by breaking the rules, but by following the rules...

With government-sanctioned abductions and C.I.A. clearance.

I-I thought you were gonna murder me.

Silly Weeknd!

Dang, this family vibe is refreshing as hell.

More like boring as hell.

More like hell nah.

Honestly, I miss being around

boring people like this family.

This lasagna's delicious. No, it's not!

Roger. Attitude.

When my lame-ass chefs make lasagna,

it's all the same temperature.

I never get to crack a tooth on a frozen noodle

while burning my tongue on beef sauce.

Weeknd!

My secret?

I microwave it for 30 seconds,

then turn it, and microwave it for 15 minutes.

May I please have some more?

What's happening? You're a Starboy.

Starboys don't eat lasagna.

Starboys get all their nutrients from eating

Too far, Roger!

Go to your room, and don't come down until I say so!

No!

Some of that lasagna got on my pants.

I better take them off and stand in my underwear

in front of The Weeknd.

I'm gonna make you come... pletely clean

in the pants region.

Because I really like lasagna!

You call this clean?

Roger, are you ready to come down and apologize?

The Weeknd's telling us what it's like to ride

the Matterhorn all by himself!

Roger, I told you to stay in the attic.

I don't have to! For your information,

Tuttle stole antibiotics from his mom,

and we're gonna feed them to sharks.

No, you're not gonna feed them to sharks.

Hey, you can't lock up my clothes!

Then I can't go out! You're the idiot

who leaves all their clothes in one place.

I got shirts and underwear stashed all over this house.

You never know when somebody's gonna try to ground you.

I hate you!

Fine, but you're gonna hear me bowling all night!

300!

I just rolled a perfect game, and nobody cares!

This family sucks!

Mom, there's something wrong with my water.

It's too clear. The Weeknd thought

it would be "dope" to fix the plumbing

so I don't have to get our water from Tuttle's pond anymore.

Well, I'm glad The Weeknd

snaked someone's plumbing.

She's sad because she blew her one shot

to sleep with The Weeknd.

I'm sad she's sad.

But I'm also not sad she didn't sleep with him.

Those are my two emotions, sad and not sad.

Will you please go tell Roger he can come down?

He's been such a quiet, good boy.

Must be an apology video.

If you're watching this video,

I've already switched places with The Weeknd.

Million on black, Leon.

And I'm enjoying his rule-free lifestyle.

And a million on red, Leon.

See, Stan, I wanted to show you

that I'd thrive without your stupid rules.

Double zero green!

There's green?!

Leon, don't tell me there's rules to this game.

What's this? Free buffet?

All you can eat. No rules.

Just how I like it.

Morning, Stan.

I slept so well.

Incredible.

Where did you find a bed without girls in it?

You sure you don't want to play pinochle, The Weeknd?

No, you go ahead.

I've been so busy singing hit songs,

I never get to fold laundry anymore.

I'm getting good.

Hey, everyone.

Hi, Weeknd.

Don't let me interrupt.

I just need to stretch.

Yeah...

Did you ever get boners in your old life, The Weeknd?

All too often.

This family is a great break from boners.

Man, I miss my fans,

but I just know they're in good hands with Roger.

I wanna tell you how I don't miss Stan,

His chin bigger than a mini-van,

Life's much better as The Weeknd, though

Partial strip view at the Fla-min-go

Vodka in my thermos, bong's full of grass

Never hit a donkey, but I do pound ass

because I'm a motherfucking Starboy!

Groupies, meet The Weeknd.

Very nice, Klaus.

Security!

Klaus, a weirdo snuck backstage with you!

That's Vu.

He's a weird hang but an excellent drug dealer.

Apologies, Vu.

Okay, my entourage has taken shape.

We have Vu, groupies,

Klaus as my manager... Sick!

But I'm lacking something.

Yes, my entourage is missing an energy guy...

Klaus, bring me Breckin Meyer.

You can't get Breckin.

Nobody can get Breckin.

He's the ultimate energy guy!

Just make it happen.

We're gonna take drugs and see that show at Excalibur.

"Tournament of Kings"?!

That's the only show in Vegas

where they don't vacuum the floors afterwards!

Hey, Vu, got anything on you

that'll make me feel like a king?

You're a good drug dealer, Vu.

Vu, you little minx!

I'm buzzing you in.

It's Francine, Roger.

Vuuuu!

Get up here, Vuuuu!

Are you trying to buzz me into your apartment?

Vu, dude, you gotta pull when I buzz!

Klaus got in touch with Breckin Meyer!

He's flying in from Los Cabos!