Night's End

...seven, six, five,

four, three,

two, one.

Ten, nine, eight,

seven, six, five,

four, three, two,

one.

Ten, nine,

eight, seven,

six, five,

four, three,

two, one.

Forward progress.

If you look at the entire picture,

you have to ask yourself,

how does employee performance affect the bottom line?

And what I mean by that is, is there a revenue loss

when employees are out?

For example, when I was a manager,

I used to try to spend some time thinking about how I could

boost employee performance.

Well, if you like what you heard

or you have any questions or comments,

uh, feel free to click the link below to like or subscribe.

Thank you for taking the time to watch

"Ken Barber's Management Tips."

I am Ken Barber.

Uh, see you next time.

See you next... I-I'm Ken Barber.

See you next time. Hmm...

There's too much "Ken Barber."

I just said it's "Ken Barber's Management Tips,"

so obviously I'm Ken Barber.

Shit.

So, let's say you're a dad and your kids come to you

when they're like, you know, three or four years old,

and they're curious little people,

they want to know about you, so they ask about your life.

They ask, like, what type of problems you have.

And my advice would be, don't get too specific,

'cause if you give them too many details,

there's gonna be a lot of follow-up questions,

and you do not want to deal with that.

But you dowant to make sure that your kids know that it's

okay to make mistakes,

but not big mistakes, and to not spend too much time

making excuses or explaining yourself, I guess.

That's it for this edition.

If you like what you heard or you have any questions

or comments, click the link below.

Thank you for taking the time to watch

"Ken Barber's Divorced Dad Tips."

I will see you around.

No, I don't think that overgrown hedges

are gonna take care of themselves.

It's like an overflowing trash can in your alley.

You look at it and think to yourself,

"When was the last time this trash can got emptied?"

When is the nexttime it's gonna get emptied?

When is trash day?

Wait, what day is today?

Is it, uh... Is it Thursday?

It's like... It's like we're

living in stasis, you know what I mean?

And I guess, when we're in that stasis, we get upended...

or we canget upended in the end.

You can click the button below to like or subscribe.

This has been "Ken Barber's Lawn Life Tips."

Fuck.

Ten, nine, eight,

seven, six, five,

four, three,

two, one.

Seven, six,

five, four,

three, two, one.

Ten, nine,

eight, seven,

six, five,

four, three,

two, one.

Ten, nine,

eight, seven,

six, five,

four, three,

two, one.

Forward progress.

I don't have any real numbers, and, uh...

Come on, man, let me hear those numbers.

I don't know, maybe like 10 watches so far.

Overall for all the videos, or individual watches

for just the last one?

10 for the last one.

You mean "Ken Barber's Lawn Guy"?

"Lawn Life."

"Lawn Life."

Yeah, and like 28 for all of them together.

For two days since you posted them?

That's not bad, is it?

Oh, no, that's pretty shitty.

Right, but you got the most looks on the lawn one?

I know... stupid.

You're Ken Barber, and those are lawn guy...

Lawn life.

Lawn lifetips.

Maybe since that one was the most popular,

make another one of those, and maybe this time

with more actual tips about lawns and less thoughts

about the crushing anguish of human existence.

Uh, yeah, maybe.

Oh, and you know what else?

Maybe don't post three different videos all at once.

Maybe just pick a tip topic and stick with it.

Yeah, just throw my shit against the wall

and see what sticks?

It's not shit every time,

But hey, what was up with one of those,

like, taxidermy birds falling behind you?

- What do you mean? - On the "lawn guy" video.

One of your weird, like, stuffed bird things fell off

the shelf right behind you.

It did?

Don't you watch your own videos?

I mean, I, like, skim through it.

Well, watch it, you'll see what I mean.

You mean, like, right now?

Yeah.

Alright, alright, hold on.

"When was the last time this trash can got emptied?"

When is the next time it's gonna get emptied?

When is trash day? Wait, what day is today?

Is it, uh... Is it Thursday?

Oh, damn.

Things don't just fall like that, man.

Oh, wow, that's weird.

Yeah, let me call you later, alright?

What is that?

And finally, on "Ken's Lawn Life Tips,"

an eagle-eyed viewer brought to my attention

that, when I shot my last video a few days ago,

that this little guy fell off the shelf.

Now, you may have noticed that, uh, I like birds.

Uh, I get it from my dad. He preferred live birds.

I prefer formerly live birds.

Live birds are messy, and they make a lot of noise.

And if anybody ever tells you that you eat like a bird,

don't take that as a compliment.

I don't know how it fell off the shelf.

Some folks have commented that maybe my apartment is haunted

and there's a ghost that wanted to play with the birds.

I don't know about all of that.

Anyway, thank you so much for tuning in

to the second installment of "Ken's Lawn Life Tips."

If you have not already, please click below

to like and/or subscribe,

and I will see you all next time.

One of my viewers told me about it.

- Was it Terry? - No.

Wasn't Terry. It was somebody else entirely.

But yeah, all the comments are saying it might be a ghost.

You should find out if anybody died in your apartment.

- I'm not gonna do that. - Oh, come on. Find out.

- Why would I want to know that? - Because ghosts!

I could research it for you, even.

- No, thank you. - You get creeped out too easily.

Always have.

- No, I don't. - Mm-hmm.

Except for your creepy birds.

Hey, my birds are not creepy. They are comforting.

Did the building owner say anything when you moved in?

About people dying in my apartment? No.

Yeah, don't they have to reveal stuff like that

to you when you rent it?

The building was built in, like, 1905.

Mm, so maybe somebody croaked there like 100 years ago

and the building owner doesn't even know about it.

Are there any weird bloodstains on the floor?

Or, like, tapping noises in the walls?

or terrifying, blood-curdling screams in the hallway?

Yeah, well, I'm sorry to disappoint you,

but the only weird screams are mine.

- The kids are at Donna's? - Mm-hmm.

Hanging out with her girls. Yeah.

So, other than your new apartment being haunted,

is there anything going on with you?

I'm just doing my video stuff.

Are you getting outside at all?

Uh, I think I'm good here.

It's not healthy, holing up like that.

Ken, especially in a new town and a new place.

I disagree.

I think this is a perfect opportunity for me

to get to know every inch of my apartment.

Any job prospects?

Nothing yet.

'Cause you're applying, right?

I'm working on it.

You do realize that posting homemade self-help videos

isn't really working on it.

Seriously, it could augment things.