The Trap

We just flew in from Seattle. Is there anything you can do?

This is a Michelin-rated restaurant.

We don't have any reservations for six months.

Mr. Ridley. What a wonderful surprise.

The maitre d' will seat you right away.

Marcel. Table six for Mr. Ridley.

-Thank you. -Enjoy your meal.

What the hell? He just walked in here without a reservation.

When you're The New York Times food critic,

you can too.

There you are, sir.

That's me. Sonny Jones.

Doing what I love to do.

At one of the best restaurants in New Orleans.

Now I'm about to tell you an unbelievable story

that just happens to be true.

Chef, I have a slight issue.

Can't you see, I'm busy.

Bernard Ridley was just seated at table 67.

All right, all right, ladies and gentlemen.

Let's look alive, everybody!

We got The New York Times in the house tonight

and you will not embarrass me.

-Is that understood? - Yes, Chef!

-That bechamel. I need it now. - Coming up!

Mmm.

My oysters. Where are they?

They should have been staring at my pretty face about 30 seconds ago.

I've come a long way since my days

cleaning grease traps in my family's fried chicken joint

back in Atlanta.

One thing that hasn't changed

is my love for food.

Yeah. That's the shit right there.

Come on, people.

-Hey. -Hey! Spick and span.

You leaving straight from here?

Yeah, yeah, Chef. I'm leaving straight from here.

Driving overnight. Playing Midnight Train To Georgia.

- -You know Pops said that was the...

That's the only way a man should arrive in the state.

That's right.

Was great work tonight.

Thanks to you we'll be getting a great write-up in the Times.

Oh. Well, Chef, I'm...

I'm just executing your vision.

Mmm, yeah, well...

Think it's time we started executing yours.

We're opening up a Bentley's in Los Angeles.

No!

LA?

-And I want you to be Head Chef. -You...

-Me? -That's right.

No. LA?

I mean... I mean, of course!

Hell, yeah!

-Man, that's a dream. -All right, good.

Now, go and enjoy the time with your family.

'Cause when you get back, it's gonna be full steam ahead.

You damn right it is.

Full steam straight ahead.

So much steam you ain't gonna know what to do with it.

- -All right now.

Don't you drink yourself to death

before you can give me my promotion.

-I need you alive. You hear me? -Have a safe trip.

Hey, old ass nigga.

You're gonna give me a second? What's up, man?

Hey, you need to have some patience.

Where your sister at?

Yeah, she told me you and some other bitch

tried to use her credit card and book a trip.

Me and another bitch.

She told me I shouldn't be fucking with your old ass anyway.

You still on that bullshit?

No, nigga. No, no, no.

I wanna... This a dub sack.

Ain't no motherfucking ten.

Nigga, that's your problem, you can't count.

Your ass need to be in school.

Nigga, it's Sunday.

Sunday school. Monday school.

Nigga, go to school.

You and your little nasty ass sister need Jesus.

Hey, man. Fuck you, bro!

Yeah, nigga. Fuck you!

-Old ass nigga. -Aye!

I'll let you get this if you let me smoke you out. Aye!

Hey, there goes the old rat, beaten ass Dutch, man.

That could be the worst drug dealer ever, bro.

Look at it though. How the hell he sell all the goddamn dope

but he ain't making no money?

Shut up, you. At least he got a goddamn job.

Robbing is my job, big head little boy.

Yeah, if you get paid for it. You ain't never paid for it.

Man, you know, I get paid from robbing. You know...

-You should rob a damn job. -For real. For real.

Broke ass.

This nigga's... That's daddy, bro.

He rob one motherfucker.

-What you mean? -You robbing that.

-You do rob... -Old ass lazy.

I don't give a damn and I took a handicapped sticker.

VIP airway. Ah.

Check this out. Ah!

Look at that sad ass, man.

Hell, no. Light skin, white bread eating ass Sonny.

You got kicked off Top Chef, man?

-You know he did. - That's a golden motherfucker.

See, I haven't been home in almost a year.

I couldn't believe how run down the place had got.

My granddaddy rolling in his grave right now.

-We're open but... -Hello?

Yeah, I don't even have the money to get my nails done.

Actually I just got them done.

Can I get some chicken, please?

Is you deaf? We out of chicken. Damn.

How the hell a Chicken Shack out of chicken?

Like, you always want something.

What, y'all just a shack?

What, y'all just a shack?

If you want some chicken you could bounce your fake ass ass

-over to JJ's. -And I'm gonna do that

-'cause they make chicken better anyway. -Hey, baby.

I got a wing for you but you got to bust it open for your boy.

Oh, way, nigga.

-Yeah. -If he don't stop all that...

That's right, Uncle Gus.

Tell that bitch!

Bust another wing on, boy!

-Watch out. -I'm gonna go holla at my girl.

What's up?

Wait, boy. I am not coming to your showcase. Stop asking.

-You won't be coming to my showcase... -No.

-Put a fake ass back boy. -Fake ass back boy?

Hold it, girl. You're gonna want this dick when I get rich.

You gonna want this dick when I get rich.

What's it look like I'm doing, sir?

Not your job. Where's Mama Jay?

Who's that? Who are you?

-Where is Mama Jay? -Who?

Where's the manager?

Oh, okay. Hold on. Hold on, bitch.

Bae!

Bae!

Who's making all the goddamn noise?

Hey, Sonny! What's up?

Baby, this my little brother I was telling you about.

Right here, my little brother.

What's going on? What you doing over here?

What is going on with Mama's restaurant? What have you done, man?

And who is the ratchet ass cashier you got watching?

-Oh, bitch. Hold up. -I found her on IG.

This is Al Sharpton's little daughter, man.

Who calling motherfucking ratchet ass waitress, you pissy ass?

-Tell me one motherfucking... -Listen, ma'am. Ma'am.

-Ma'am, this is my family's restaurant. -Hello?

Okay, that's my man. This is my man's Chicken Shack.

This is my man's Chicken Shack.

-Come on, man, chill. Hey, chill. -You don't know the fuck...

Come on chill. Chill. Chill. Look. She'll stab you.

-She will stab you. -Hello.

-I'm letting you know that right now. -Hello.

Now where's Mama...

Let's not do this in front of customers.

-Let's get out of here. -Yeah, let me walk you out.

Let me walk you outside.

Mama got sick. Told me to take charge.

Go ahead and fuck it up real good, ain't you?

Okay, well, you go ahead and do it.

You running around there with the white people.

You got your nose all up in the air.

Listen, I can't help you here, man. I have a job.

-Quit it, man. -I can't quit my job.

I've got a big promotion out in LA, man. I got to go and run a restaurant.

So, I guess, New Orleans wasn't far enough, huh?

Hey, listen, man. Don't start that, Dutch. Okay?

I mean, really, man. I talked to Mama every week

and she ain't said nothing to me about being sick.

You know how she is.

You know, she ain't gonna tell nobody she's sick.

But she'd be worried about your little ass.

You see?

-I'm fittin' to go see her. -Titty-baby. Well, go see her

-'cause I got some business to take care. -Oh, do you?

-Yeah, I got some business too. -Oh, do you?

Well, why don't you make this your business?

Why don't you make this your business?

-Get this together. -Get your roof fixed.

-Huh? -I'm trying to get the roof fixed on here.

Why don't you get the roof, roof, roof, roof, roof fixed behind the counter.

The plumbing and everything, nigga.

Hands on the steering wheel.

My hands are already on the steering wheel.

See, I told you it was him.

Huh?

-I'd recognize that big head anywhere. -

-Is that shit supposed to be funny? -

Y'all can't just be pulling people over for nothing, yo.

Got me out here all on edge and I ain't even do shit.