The Simpsons

- (WORK WHISTLE BLOWS) - (SCREAMS)

D'oh!

- Homer. - Hey.

- Homer. - Huh? What?

- I'll be right home. - You are home.

Homer.

Homer, wake up, please. I can't sleep.

I'm having friends over tomorrow.

- Luann Van Houten. - Back-stabber.

- Bernice Hibbert. - Snob.

And Helen Lovejoy.

Okay, she's pretty hot.

I mean, hot for a reverend's wife,

but so judgmental.

I was going to ask you if you could watch Maggie.

Oh, yeah, of course.

What do you suspect?

- (GULPS) - (SUCKS)

Isn't this great?

Daddy-baby alone time.

Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.

- Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo. - (SIGHS)

- Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo. - Meh.

- Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo. - (BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.

Oh, you're sick of it already?

I was gonna do different people.

Peek-a-boo-ooh!

: I'm afraid, Master Wayne,

it's time for peek-a-boo.

Ah, come on. Nothing?

Babies love Michael Caine.

What to do? What to do?

What to... do.

What... to... do.

Mags, I'll level with you.

I love you, kiddo,

but we are in two completely different worlds.

- (GULPS) - (SUCKS)

- More lemonade, ladies? - No, thank you.

I've had better lemonade at Ralph Wiggum's stand.

And he stirs it with his finger.

So we've been asked to redecorate the school room

where the kids wait when their ride is late.

I have some ideas.

Marge, you have many wonderful talents,

but your sense of style is, uh...

- One of them? - I'm afraid not.

Purple and orange cupboards,

oh, corncob curtains,

rabbit ears on the TV.

It's like we're visiting the Flintstones.

Well, since you don't like my style,

maybe I should show you the door.

You mean the brown door next to the hot pink walls.

Just like at the circus.

Well, an elephant does live here.

An elephant?

You're calling my husband an elephant?

Marge, we got any more peanuts?

: Oh, Homer.

Hmm.

No.

What the...?

Is it that bird?

- Marge! Are you making tea? Yes.

- Whew. Iced tea.

: What the hell?

This is WHIS.

Whistling at you all day and night.

WHIS, The Whistle.

Ah. Whistling format radio.

- (WHISTLING CONTINUES) - Huh?

Where is that whistling coming from?

Maggie?

It is you!

It's so odd... I'm a terrible whistler.

- Always have been. - (SAD WHISTLE)

There must be a reason you were given this gift.

It's to make people think I can whistle.

AUDIENCE (CHANTING): Homer! Homer! Homer!

And now I will perform

"Flight of the Bumblebee."

Who was that president?

He looked pretty generic.

I do too have taste.

- I'm afraid not. - (GROWLS)

Corncob curtains.

Mom, what's wrong?

Why aren't you answering me?

I'm right here.

Honey, I'm just feeling sorry for myself,

but I'll show them.

I'll make a late pickup room like that school has never seen.

That'll be easy, there's never been one.

Well, what do you think of my late pickup room?

It's wonderful. Hard to believe

it's the same room they found all those dead rats in.

Well, maybe you can fool the Hibberts,

but to me, this is the work of a...

Genius.

Salud.

Well, gee.

Guess who got a job today.

- You? - Nope.

The guy who went in after me.

I-I totally set him up.

Listen, I recently purchased the old post office to renovate.

Would you like to be my interior decorator?

Well, ladies.

Looks like someone appreciates me...

The one man in town who trims his nails.

Is one of them giving you trouble?

There's no room in the trunk, boss.

- Bodies? - No.

Bottled water and toilet paper, remember?

We made that Costco run.

(BEAUTIFULLY WHISTLING "OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM")

Now do it backwards.

Now sideways.

Hey, come on. She's just a baby.

Who is?

Uh, my talent.

Makes sense.

Well, well, well.

Seems like my no-talent son can suddenly whistle.

Tell me, Homer, how'd you trill that high "C"

with your lips in second position?

Oh, it's amazing.

She's got my whistling gene, all right.

Which, unfortunately, skips a generation.

I hope it works out better for you than it did for me.

I was booked on the top whistling show on radio,

Your Blow of Blows, with Sid Wheezer.

Good evening, folks. Sid Wheezer here,

sipping a delicious Buzz Cola.

(FIZZING, LIQUID POURING, CYMBAL CRASHES)

Ah, refreshing.

Keep polio at bay, the Buzz Cola way.

Oh, thanks a lot.

Our next act is a swell kid

from right here in Springfield.

His hobby is straightening elbow macaroni.

Let's here it for Little Abraham Simpson.

Then I got cocky.

Tried a little stunt called the Triple Windy.

- (RIPPING) - (GASPING)

Blew out the ligaments in my lips.

Had to hire guys to kiss my girlfriend.

It was a good deal.

I'd pay for five minutes,

but it would go on for hours.

When the time was right,

I'd make my move.

But this little magpie, she's got my gift.

And now she's going into showbiz.

Couldn't showbiz screw her up?

You know, like it did Ron Howard?

He hasn't won an Oscar since 2002.

Oh, please, son, do this for me.

Dad, you should not live your life through your granddaughter.

You poor guy. She'll do it.

Okay, Maggie. Time to learn a happy tune

from these imprisoned birds.

Man, Maggie's talented, Lisa's talented.

- What am I good at? - The birds love ya.

Well, yeah, but they also love Grampa.

Go ahead, but my blood's turned to bile

from watching Fox News.