Industry

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (TELEPHONES RINGING)

Whoa.

Fucking Tories. Stop talking.

Fuck! - The fuck is going on?

Have the phones gone, too?

Can some cunt put 50p in the meter?

Yeah, Ramdani.

- Sorry, I... I don't... How's Lumi doing?

Check your phone, mine's dead.

- What just happened? It's already trading down

from the offering price. It's getting torched.

No, no, no, no, no. Nothing to worry about. - YASMIN KARA-HANANI: Hi.

- Um... - TRADER 6: How'd you know about the power cut?

We're not exactly sure...

Let me just call you back, okay? You're gonna be my first call.

Um...

Caedi, do you know what's going on?

Excuse me. Excuse me, sorry.

What's going on?

I... I think we have a slight technical problem.

What pri... What price are we trading at?

- Is it open? - Uh...

Why didn't the fucking bell ring?

Is it live?

It's 8:01, so we must be trading, right?

- (HENRY SCOFFS) - ROBERT SPEARING: Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

Did someone get a photo of me?

Everything east of Liverpool Street, totally dark.

- Has the fucking thing opened? Man!

do not let people sell into it and hammer the price.

Don't worry. We think that all existing Lumi orders are filled.

I think it's a National Grid issue.

The party line to clients is any softness in the stock now

is a buying opportunity.

It... It must have just been a power cut.

No, no, no, no. Your order, it has been filled.

You are an owner of Lumi. I think.

Rishi, I've got two clients wanting your bid in Lumi.

- Where is it? - ERIC TAO: Do not let people sell the stock!

Our traders are only buyers of this.

We're not providing liquidity for the other side. Only buyers!

Tell them they can have my taxi bid.

They can have his "do one, dickhead" price.

Guys, I'm a buyer of Lumi only!

- (PHONE CLATTERS) Eric.

Nobody knows if they own Lumi or not.

Are the orders getting filled?

Okay. All my IBs are talking about Lumi's debt profile.

- What do you want me to say to them? - Calm everyone down.

The market's spooked from the power cut.

Orders are filled.

The story today is not the debt profile.

It's the growth trajectory.

There is a second-year analyst

having to pick up Kenny's line, Eric.

Does that seem like joined-up thinking?

The market is deciding in real time

that this thing is a dog with fleas.

What do you want me to say to Kenny's clients?

Lumi is a buy on any weakness. End of conversation.

- (TELEPHONE RINGING) All the mainframe trading systems

were unaffected by the power cut.

Ms. Hanani? - Yeah, uh...

It's Yasmin. Speaking.

Hi, Otto Mostyn.

It's, um... Good to connect last night.

- Invitation still stands. - Excuse me?

A drink a little later? After my lunch at the club.

How can I help you?

Well, bad days tend to be good days for me.

I just wanted to get a sell-side sense

of how Lumi is feeling.

Who is that?

It's Otto Mostyn.

Yeah, but which portfolio manager?

Otto Mostyn.

- Hang up. I...

- She'll get back to you. - (PHONE CLATTERS)

He's only ever calling a junior salesperson

to take a turn out of them.

You don't wanna get involved with Mostyn.

You good?

I'll be fine. Are you good?

Me? Oh, any better, it'd be a sin.

What's wrong with your back?

Listen, Eric, I'm about to breach my risk limit.

I can't buy any more Lumi stock to support it.

I'll see what I can do.

You're getting absolutely hosed.

You still running that sterling position?

What's that got to do with this IPO, cunt?

Nothing. It's just what happens when the Bank of England

hikes rates this morning?

Why would you say that? Why would you say...

Why would you incept that fucking stress

into my head?

- Huh? What? What? - I'm trying to...

If you speak again,

I'm FedEx-ing you back to Watford.

Now get the fuck out of my face.

These posh guys are literally

defined by their, like, sexual derangement.

This Guardian article

is spilling the tea on Henry Muck.

So, my best mate, Treacle, she's with Select.

Her body? Too dangerous for social media.

- Like the most insane butt fold. - (TELEPHONE RINGING)

And these, like, tiny, perfect little angel tits.

Anyway. So, she matched with Henry Muck,

and he took her on this incredible date...

Why? Why are you telling me this?

Can someone in tech support

- give me a straight fucking answer on... - (TELEPHONE RINGING)

You gonna get that?

- I'm... - Yasmin...

- Just... - ...pick up the phone.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (TELEPHONE CONTINUES RINGING)

I'm gonna be si...

No drama here!

There's drama on the end of the line.

Get back to work.

I told you, her heels are too high.

I'm sorry.

Listen, this constant state of emergency,

this is it, this is as good as it gets.

You wanna know what's worse than a ringing phone? Silence.

Are we gonna get this stock to close above 480?

If you can't handle it, show yourself out the door.

Anna Gearing's on the line.

You know, it seems like I'm doing two people's jobs

on what feels like quite a significant day.

Your tone with me is inappropriate.

Eric, fuck her tone.

Your Coach Carter camaraderie is bullshit

when making management decisions like,

I don't know, losing a fucking executive director

the morning of an IPO.

You're fucking nuts!

- (TELEPHONE BUZZING) - (COMPUTER CHIMES)

Anna, hi, I'm so sorry.

It's been a crazy morning.

Did you guys oversell the fundamental story?

Do people know something that I don't?

My reputation in front of my board

is on the line here.

Did Pierpoint overvalue Lumi?

Anna, you have to trust me, okay?

This is just panic.

You don't want to be trigger-happy

and look daft when the market turns in our favor.

Oh, it better turn. I'm bid only, Lumi.

Bid only. It's just finding a level.

If anyone asks for an offer,

they'll end up like Mussolini and his Mrs.

- ...'cause of the disruption... Is this price live?

We started at 430,

and we're already trading down at 400.

What percentage decrease is that?

Do it in your head, fuckface. What did you read at Oxford?

Geography.

Why?

Harry, good to see you, mate.

- Yeah, yeah. Have a good day. - And you as well, Sir Henry.

Well, try not to monitor it like a day trader then, sir.

Are you kidding?

Every tick down is potentially tens of millions...

- What, off your net worth? - Tobias, yeah.

- Congratulations. - Thanks for supporting.

Thank you for being here. Thank you.

Off the valuation of the company,

to its public perception, and therefore its health,

and consequently, its ability to do good.

- (CELL PHONE RINGS) - How did these hacks

get my fucking number?

I've got Ed Cumming from The Telegraph.

Tell him to fuck off for a minute, yeah?

- (CELL PHONE CHIMES) - Wait a minute. The, uh...

The Telegraph. Uh...

Uh, moderate that to piss off then, yeah?

Uh, Caedi...

Are you okay?

Am I okay? Yeah, fine.

Yeah. Uh, you're not, um... You're not panicking.

Not yet, I mean.

Caedi...

Uh, tell me it'll all be fine.

Yeah, okay. Uh, don't let me derail you from whatever task

- you were undertaking. - Look. I know it's not actually my job

to tell you this, but you should not speak to the press right now.

Anything you say this close to the launch

might be considered offering language,

and we might get in shit with the regulator.

Plus, the market might misread you.

What's her fucking name?

You know her fucking name. You just used it.

It's Caedi.

- Caedi, Caedi. - LUMI EMPLOYEE: We'll be taking more photos

- for our socials in the other room. - Uh... (SUCKS TEETH)

If you could make your way through the corridor.

Patch The Tele through. And get MarketWatch