Casanova '70

ALL THE CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS FILM ARE FICTITIOUS

ANY SIMILARITY TO ACTUAL EVENTS OR PEOPLE IS COINCIDENTAL

- Sir. - How much is it?

600 francs.

Thank you.

- Let's go. - Why?

- Sorry, but Noelle is a bit tired. - What? Me?

- But I'll see you tomorrow. Good night. - See you tomorrow.

I'm tired.

This improvement course for NATO officials is really hard.

You do nothing all day.

That's what you think. We don't do anything, it's true.

In fact it's three in the morning and I have to go straight to headquarters.

- At three in the morning? - Yes, dear.

We're on the alert over Yemen.

The northern guerrillas set fire to a village in the south.

- You're being a fireman? - That provincial wit of yours.

It's my mistake telling you things you can't understand.

Good night, dear. Sleep well.

Don't forget to set your alarm for ten because the plane leaves at 12:45.

NATO headquarters, Versailles.

- Stop here. - Here?

Didn't you say NATO headquarters?

- Yes, but I changed my mind. How much? - 15.

Thank you.

Who's there?

Who's there?

Look out, I've got a gun. Who's there?

No, it's me, darling. It's Andrea.

- Are you crazy? - My darling.

Don't you know that you nearly killed me? I love it! It's so beautiful!

- What do you mean, beautiful? - Darling...

You're shaking all over. You were scared. I was scared too, so scared.

- But I love it, I love it. - I've had enough of these jokes.

Why, precious? We have fun. It's beautiful.

You know that...

Major! What's going on? Who shot you?

- Major! - It's the concierge.

Open up. Police.

A shot was fired by accident. It's easy to say.

But we can't just issue a warning, Major.

Could I speak to you man-to-man?

I'm used to this kind of proposition. Talk to me.

Well, I'd like to appeal to your experience as a man

and above all as a Frenchman, Superintendent.

The person in question has a very passionate and jealous temperament.

What are you telling him?

We're trying to get you out of this mess, darling. Keep calm.

As I was saying, she has a very fiery temperament.

- She's from the south. - Your wife's Italian?

Corsican.

She's not my wife. Partly because of this, you see.

I've been meaning to marry her for three years.

There was another scene. She picked up my gun but nothing happened.

I think she only did it to frighten me.

On the other hand, jealousy is a guarantee of love.

- Would you like a lozenge? - Thanks.

There you are.

- You have great understanding. - Thank you.

This time we'll turn a blind eye, madam.

But I must tell you to consider yourself cautioned.

- Cautioned? - Yes.

And try to control your rash actions. In fact, leave them in Corsica.

- A bit of goodwill, madam... - My rash actions?

Just a bit of goodwill, madam.

He's been very kind. I'll explain everything.

Come on. I said sorry. I made a mistake. I won't do it again.

It's funny. The superintendent believed that you're a passionate woman.

I thought you liked my joke last night.

Joke? Like that time when you drove a kilometre on the wrong side of the road.

I'd just come from England and I was used to driving on the left.

- They're little love games. - Games? They're serious.

Without those little games you're no good at anything.

You're worse than a wife.

Get yourself seen to, you ugly impotent man.

- What? - Impotent.

DR FRANCESCO CAPASSO PROFESSOR AT NAPLES UNIVERSITY

PSYCHOANALYST'S SURGERY

Thank you.

Professor, I'm in a very embarrassing situation.

You're impotent?

Can you tell?

No, but it's quite a normal condition.

- Should I lie down? - If you prefer.

I thought you had to.

Not in the first session, but if it makes you feel more at ease, go ahead.

- Yes, I'd rather. - Make yourself comfortable.

There.

Have you noticed that drawing? It looks like a spider.

- You think it looks like a spider? - Why? Does it have a meaning?

- Of course, but go on. - What's the meaning?

- It's too early. - All right, but good or bad?

I'm telling you it's too early. Go on.

Now try to explain clearly to me how you formed your conviction.

The first signs were the words of an ex-girlfriend from Paris.

She was upset because I'd left her.

I wanted to disprove her and prove to myself that everything was working.

The opportunity arose on the flight back.

Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your safety belts. Thank you.

Sir. Please.

Excuse me, madam. I've got a problem with this arm.

Could you help me? Thank you.

No, stay a little bit longer. Landing, you know...

- Are you afraid? - You're never afraid?

Yes, sometimes.

Will you let me hold your hand? We can help each other be brave.

Where will you be tonight?

In Naples between Flights 319 and 420.

In Cairo between Flights 58 and...

What are you going to do in Naples?

- I don't know. - I know.

I've only got two hours and 45 minutes.

I'll make it last a century.

It's an ordinary place but how could anybody say it's not a wonderful view?

You'll see what a sunset really is, darling. Such an enchanting sight.

I won't see the sunset. The plane will already have left.

Of course. How stupid of me.

What number do I call to find out the exact time?

The exact time? 16.

Can you pass me my watch, please? It's in my handbag.

Of course.

Who knows if it'll be the exact time here in Naples? Thank you.

I think it will be.

91 minutes have passed already.

Company issue.

We've got an hour and 13 minutes left.

Come on. Quick.

Yes. Come on. Sorry.

Beautiful.

I'll get the porter to call me as well, to be on the safe side.

Reception? Can you call Room 419 in 38 minutes' time? Thank you.

Andrea, it's 3:53pm. Hurry up.

Here I am.

Let's order some champagne. Aren't you thirsty? Would you like some?

Champagne at this time of day? It's almost time for tea.

Let's not, then.

You're as light as a feather.

Oops-a-daisy.

It's like unwrapping a fine chocolate.

Excuse me, darling, but how long is it?

- Eight feet and nine inches. - Right.

Beautiful,

divine,

stupendous,

fantastic creature of the Orient.

How do you say "love" in your country?

It sounds like a Chinese minister.

What on earth... You can't get five minutes' peace here.

I'll go and see what they want.

- You rang... - A telegram for me?

Thank you, you're very kind. This is for you.

But...

A telegram for me? What's happened?

"Grandpa died suddenly. Stop.

"Join us immediately, Dad. Stop."

My grandfather.

He's dead.

He was 87.

It was to be expected.

87 years are 87 years.

But it's strange. I'd never have thought that I'd lose him.

- Is your grandfather alive or dead? - My grandfather's in excellent health.

- Excellent health? - Yes. You didn't understand.

- You killed him cynically. - No, it was all...

Carry on.

I want to weep for you, Grandpa, but I'm a man and I can't.

It's true, darling. A man must be a man.

Definitely. A man must be a man.

But... I am a man.

Bye.

Oh, my goodness. I've made a real fool of myself.

A real fool of myself. Oh, my goodness.

I've made a real fool of myself.

- Sir... - Come in, sweetheart.

Don't be afraid. Come in.

I called you because I wanted to say sorry.

I'm sorry.

I had to get rid of that boring woman somehow.

Yes, sir.

Wait. Thank goodness she's gone.

And you?

What about me?

What are you doing this evening?

Don't you want to tell me?

Of course you want to tell me. Are you embarrassed?

- I finish at eight. - Yeah?

And you're free until when?

Until eight tomorrow evening.

Let's hold each other like this, heart and soul

Never leave each other again, not even for an hour

This desire for you scares me

To live with you, only with you, so I won't die

Why do we say...

I sing love

Do you understand or not?

I sang all night long

Both my classical and my modern repertoire. Even Catarì.

I made up lots of the lyrics because I'm not a singer.

The girl fell asleep just before dawn.

Without making a sound I pulled the boat to the shore and escaped.