The 27 Club

Early this morning,

you came knocking on my door.

"Hello, Satan," I said.

"I believe it's time to go."

The two of us, walking side-by-side.

You gonna bury my body

down by the highway-side.

So my old evil spirit

can catch a Greyhound bus...

and ride.

Happy 27, Quinn.

You're a legend.

Don't think I didn't see you snag my coke, Brenda.

Fuck...

This music is the siren call

of the devil himself.

Polluting our children.

Offering base gratification

in exchange for their eternal souls.

It gives hope to the devil to know

that so many people are willing to hand over their shot

at eternal life with Jesus Christ...

in exchange for being the idols

these other lost souls worship.

There is a special place in hell

for those who take what is meant for the Lord.

One, two, three, four!

Fuck.

Oh, now you're up.

As soon as I want some privacy,

you pricks spring right into action.

Go home, assholes.

I said get the fuck...

Quinn Scott, your debt is due.

I'll kill her. I'll kill her, I swear I'll do it.

Your time has passed.

Quinn.

Quinn, what are you doing?

Fuckhead, wake...

Quinn!

Quinn?

Fuck.

Asshole.

Lily. Lily, hey, hey.

We got to go. We got to go.

We got to go right now.

Get up. We got to go. Get up. We got to go.

I can hear your phone buzzing through the door.

Oh!

Or it could have been your vibrator buzzing.

Who's to say?

I got in late after the show last night.

And then I put in a full night of editing.

I need you to come with me over to Jenny's place.

For the last time, man,

I'm not gonna have a threesome with you and your girlfriend.

But Jenny and your mom, that's still on the table.

You are way too old for my mom, man.

Jenny's way too old for you.

Hey, fuck you, man. She's hot.

Her sister's over there being dramatic.

If you show up with me, they'll just...

- Cut it short. - Fine.

- Buy you a coffee? - Thanks.

- A latte. - Oh, fuck you.

Well...

Local music fans have gathered today to pay tribute

to rock 'n' roll star Quinn Scott.

The charismatic frontman of the band Saturn's Return

who died last night in the building behind me

after celebrating achieving platinum record status

on what was his 27th birthday.

An autopsy is currently being conducted.

And while it may take several weeks for authorities

to determine the actual cause of death,

focus has already been brought to the notorious 27 Club

into which Quinn Scott is tragically...

- Hey. - ...the most recent inductee.

- What's going on over there? - Quinn Scott died.

I just saw him perform last night.

Hey.

We really got to go.

Oh, this would be perfect for my doc.

Wow, that's your reaction?

Come on, man. You got to admit. The timing's super nuts.

He was just joking about the curse at his show last night.

This makes Quinn Scott the newest member of the 27 Club.

So?

So? Robert Johnson, Amy Winehouse,

Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin,

Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison.

And now Quinn Scott?

There's got to be a connection.

Yeah, they're all the same age.

No, it goes way deeper than that.

Quinn Scott is just the most recent to be taken.

Jimi Hendrix, OD'd on pills

and one of his roadies claims his manager confessed to murdering him.

Janis Joplin, OD's on heroin

right before releasing her biggest hit song.

Jim Morrison dies of heart failure.

His corpse was wrapped in plastic and packed in dry ice

for three days before being reported.

Kurt Cobain dies from a shotgun blast to the head.

Murder allegations have been documented,

but never properly investigated.

Amy Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning.

Her family and management burns through her $10 million estate

in under two years.

Robert Johnson, the original.

He suffered for three days straight before dying of strychnine poisoning

from a bottle of whiskey.

Any one of their deaths could have easily been a murder.

Yeah, yeah. Murder, suicide.

Maybe they were dragged to hell!

- Anything's possible. - All right, let's go.

We got to get going to Jenny's,

I really wanna get this thing over with.

You can come back later.

- Come on. - Okay, all right.

You can't keep scaring me like this

and expect me to forget about it.

Would you dial back the shrill mom tone

just a little bit?

If you keep getting blackout drunk,

you're gonna get really hurt one day.

I was with Caleb.

That shithead. He left you passed out in front of my door.

I'm in one piece.

Hey, guys.

Coffee?

Thanks.

Lily, what happened this time?

Nothing.

She's fine.

Mmm.

You guys know I have a show tonight?

Cool. Where is it?

At the Panic Room.

It'd be great if you guys could come.

We got to play to a full house, right?

I thought you said those guys don't like you.

Caleb likes me,

and he owns all their gear.

He said I could sing tonight.

Is he your boyfriend?

When required.

Can you give me a ride to my place?

We're going to brunch in the opposite direction.

We're already pretty late, too.

I can walk you home.

It's on my way.

Hey, Professor Crawford.

How's the project going?

Um, Quinn Scott died last night.

He just turned 27.

That's helpful for you, I suppose.

This could be the thing that really pushed this project over the edge.

I hope so.

Do you think these connections are real?

More and more, as I keep researching.

Uh, the only thing I haven't done is communicate with the dead.

Interesting. That might be worth a try.

But that would be entirely your decision.

I wouldn't even know where to start.

Anything else before I go?

Um, yeah. Maybe one question.

Do you believe in the curse?

I believe in you, Jason.

You've got the opportunity to do something really great here.

Keep up the good work.

Professor?

Hey, can you hear me?

Something? Anything?

Ah, forget it.

All right, are you guys ready to rock?

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I introduce Vile Descent!

And for the first time on vocals...

Lily Glance!

Are you fuckers ready to get crazy?

Lily! Yeah!

Asshole.

I know you can do better than that.

Show us your tits.

I bet you wanna hear "Free Bird," too, you fucking douchebag.

No, I just wanted to see your tits.

He's wasted.

Yeah, that makes two of us.

Hey, can we just start the show? Let's start the show!

All right, everybody. Thanks for coming out.

My name is Lily Glance.

And these are my lady singers!

She has the attitude. If only she had the talent.

- I cannot watch this. - What?

I cannot watch this. We're going.

Let's go.

Thanks, fuckers. I actually wanted a whiskey.

You know what? We're done. And you're done.

Everyone, Lily's first and last performance.